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Thread: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

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    Default Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    i wrote this whole thread out before and i had a computer problem and it was deleted so ill try to summarize.

    im a 21 year old dancer, ive been dancing for 2 1/2 years in 4 states.
    im not new but there is a lot of stuff i need to relearn about the business because ive hit a rough spot and feel like im burning out.

    but i cant quit because i need a job, this is the only club for 100 miles and i have no car, and the town i live in now is so small there arent any other businesses hiring.

    i know im depressed.
    i need therapy and medication.
    but i have no insurance and cant afford to pay out of pocket so its going to have to wait until after christmas.

    the club i work at is the worst in my career so far.
    everything about it is awful.
    but i need the money and im moving in 6 months so i think i can handle it. it would mean so much for me to overcome this and not quit. plus, i can quit as soon as i have enough money saved to pay my very very low cost of living for that six months, plus save a little something to live on while i settle into stripping in a better location. i could in theory do that in one month - IF i could just get my mental state under control enough to be productive in business.

    the truth is ive really started hating people and socializing and i cant even fake it anymore. 95% of the customers where i work are bitter, mean, drunks twice my age who disrespect me and complain that i wont kiss their ass and let them feel up on me while im sitting at the bar or do dirty (and ILLEGAL) things on the tip rack for their measly $1.

    so im finding it hard to just be NICE.
    its seems like something that any normal person should be able to do!
    it shouldnt be so hard to just be nice and decent to people EVEN IF THEY DONT DESERVE IT.

    how do you do that though?

  2. #2
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    Actually, not really. If they are that awful it's pretty unhealthy to deny that reality and pretend that they aren't. Denying reality is bad for you and maybe why you feel like you do now.

    I've gotten through similar situations by either pretending I work at disneyland... (I'm Minnie Mouse.. I'm smiling... Damn those six year olds who keep poking me... but I'm smiling, I'm Minnie Mouse) or pretending that this was some kind of cosmic test of my niceness, a big joke between me and some higher power and the worse the customers would get the funnier I would think it was and the more I would smile and be nice. I'm not saying I recommend those methods, they're probably bad for you, but they worked for me when I needed them.

    Can't you travel and dance? It doesn't take much money to hop a greyhound to the next city.



  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    I feel your pain. The first club I worked was a dump with stained carpet, jerk management, a ridiculous stage fee and morons for customers.

    If you stick with this club, drink a little bit at work to relax and learn how to talk your way around the worst grabby customers (play if off, flirty-like; "Tee hee, you silly thing!" Picture the Bugs Bunny cartoons where he dressed up as a girl and how he would jerk men around. Sick but amusing.) You can also pick up some pressure point manipulation tactics from martial arts books (I sometimes grab pinkies, thumbs, wrists...and TWIST. A few crotches have felt my heel as well. I got away with all of it too!) The key when you rein men in like that is to be "whoopsy!" or act like nothing happened. If you freak out and make a scene, he'll have the leeway to complain to management. Keep it on the "he said- she said" level.
    I know this sounds cretinous, but those grabby losers know they shouldn't touch. Remind them discreetly. They can't manhandle you openly for jabbing them. And if they do, you get to see a bouncer-led beatdown! Whee!
    PS My friend STOMPED on a guy's tongue- he was stupid enugh to stick it out on the lip of the stage after he was harrassing her...I would have paid to see that.

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    Featured Member Muyaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    yeah depression can really mess with working at a club... seeing you have to be cheery and bubbly all the time to whoever when in real life you wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. I think of course you should go to therapy take medication if you want etc... if you know you are clinically depressed.

    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.

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    Default Re: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    thanks so much for the advice.
    im actually really confident it will help.
    you females are the best.

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    Newbie Itsapose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help - i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by Ann_Louise

    i know im depressed.
    i need therapy and medication.
    but i have no insurance and cant afford to pay out of pocket so its going to have to wait until after christmas.

    the club i work at is the worst in my career so far.
    everything about it is awful.
    but i need the money and im moving in 6 months so i think i can handle it.
    OK, even though I'm a guy, I can't resist responding because I can relate to depression in general, although nothing from a workplace scenario that even approaches your situation.

    First, don't be too hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but try to keep it in mind. I noticed your subject line is rather harsh. "i think my personality sucks too much to be a stripper." Well, no, I doubt that's true. Your feelings right now are a natural response to an incredibly stressful situation, and that makes the work very tough, but please don't make the mistake of thinking you're somehow deficient as a professional. You're the professional; they're the troublemakers! Give yourself credit for that. Also, give yourself credit for planning, working and saving to better your situation by moving on and moving up. "i think i'm a better stripper than this club can accomodate" should have been the title of this thread.

    Second, make time in your daily schedule to escape from work and all related thoughts. Treat yourself. Don't forget "Me Time." It doesn't have to be a costly activity; after all, you're trying to save enough to get outta there. It can be simple stuff, like buying yourself a piece of chocolate, taking a scenic walk, soaking in a bubble bath, going to a movie, sitting down to TV with a bowl of popcorn, reading a good book, videogaming, web surfing, e-mailing friends, whatever relaxes you and makes you forget all about work. (For racier suggestions, pop into . Not that I peaked.. er, peeked.)

    Third, keep thinking about your goal and planning for it. Remember when you're working that every dollar you make gets you a dollar closer to getting away. (Of course, at the same time, stick to your values.) If you don't already know the following, start researching the new location(s) you're considering. What's a good club? Dancers and DJs trade information about clubs here all the time. Where's a good place to live? Search the Internet for online information about apartments, public transportation, recreation, entertainment, education opportunities, other job availabilities, etc., in the area(s) you're considering. (Local newspaper web sites often are portals to that information, see for a directory.)

    Depression can get you in a deceptively powerful grip, so I don't mean to imply you can simply use a few message board suggestions and raw determination to completely conquer it. You're not unusual if you need more outside help than that. Therapy and medication, especially in combination, can help immensely, and if you believe you need them, you should trust your intuition and seek them when you can. But I hope some of the encouragement you get here will help boost your spirits. Good luck and keep us updated.

    -IAP

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