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Thread: Relationship History

  1. #1
    Member LinneaBee86's Avatar
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    Sad Relationship History

    Well Its just that my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. During this time we have accumulated some relationship history, both good and bad, and its just so hard to forget. We have both hurt each other and betrayed each other and I cant stop thinking about it...we love each other but it just feels like the history is still lingering.
    I want to be able to move on but its so hard. I just get bad tummy aches over it, and have no idea how to start building up trust again. I want to trust him but Im scared to because I was hurt when I did, destroying his trust in me. I want to gain that back as well

  2. #2
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    Let it go.

    just my opinion....once things have been violated and trust has been lost...its almost impossible for it ever to be right again. It will almost always be in the back of your mind or his.

    Leave now and move on. Thats just my thoughts.

  3. #3
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    This reminds me a lot of my ex boyfriend, and I. We did a lot of damage to each other. For some reason I thought that maybe time would fix it all and I could trust him again.

    Nope, Didn't work. Too much damage was done. Regardless of how many steps I took towards the future....I would remember things he had done and then I started taking steps backwards.

    Trust is hard for me to give anyways. If someone breaks it, That's about it for me. I forgive but I don't easily forget.

    My Advice: Take each day is it comes. If you love him and you want this to work....You'll trust him eventually. Probably not as fast as you once did but it'll probably come.

    I like the quote by Maya Angelou "When someone shows you who they are the first time, Believe them".....Take that for what it's worth.

    I'd probably dump him though. Life is too short, and there are too many penises..err men out there.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  4. #4
    Member LinneaBee86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    ok..its not what I wanted to hear but that is good though.
    Rose Delight: Well what finally made you call it quits?

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    I started thinking about my life......Asking myself questions.

    .....Do I deserve better than this?
    .....Can he give me what I want in life without breaking me?
    .....Is this how I want my life to be?

    Important questions in my opinion.

    I'd rather spend my life alone than in pain.

    I called it quits when I started staying up late worrying about his ass.

    I had an exam the next day. We had a fight one night and he walked out. I couldn't sleep at all. I was wondering what he was doing, Would he be hurting me? My head was going nuts. I didn't sleep at all that night. I stayed up crying all night, etc....

    I started saying to myself,"If I get through this night....It's over. I deserve better".....

    Next day, I dumped his ass and moved on. It was hard but I will never have another night where I am staying up crying over a man. If I do, He's gone.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: Relationship History

    well I am with my HS sweetheart, and that is about 8 years of history... I am over it. as long as you are honest with one another the past should stay in the past....

  7. #7
    God/dess SonicBones's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    I remember the first time I truely was in love. It was in highschool and she and I were like a lock and key.It lasted about 5yrs. It didn't end in a nasty way, I just wasn't ready to commit the way she wanted it to go.I later regretted letting her get away.In hindsight it's always nice to romantise what might of been. Truth be told we were just too young.I went through the whole "I'll never meet another girl like her syndrome". And I didn't either.But instead I met many other girls/woman who were incredible in their own ways,and who I loved the same if not more than her.I cherish the memory of her, but love has many names...

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    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY
    Let it go.

    just my opinion....once things have been violated and trust has been lost...its almost impossible for it ever to be right again. It will almost always be in the back of your mind or his.

    Leave now and move on. Thats just my thoughts.
    I second that. Something else I'd add tho is that people come in and out of your lives all the time-it's crazy. So you could break up with him now and you both could be completely different people in five years, meet again and have a wonderful relationship. Or maybe not. You'll meet someone 10x better than him who'll treat u like the princess u are and u won't have to go through all this fucked up shit. I look at it like this-
    No man is worth your tears and the one who is-WONT MAKE U CRY.

  9. #9
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    Either let it go, or go to a therapist together. Doing it alone won't work. It's been tried.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  10. #10
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Relationship History

    Not to go against the grain here, but.....

    I was betrayed during a difficult time. I forgave and got over it. Many years down the road, it's great, and I'm glad I did.

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    Default Re: Relationship History

    I agree with most of everyone here. I had a bf for a short minute and I was just full on miserable..crying myself to sleep every other nite..us fighting everyday. Im surprised we never just started beating the crap outta eachother? Anyways, do what is good for you cuz in the long run you will always be there for you. Im worried that you get physically ill over it too thats a VERY bad sign hun. No person should make you ill. Take care of yourself. Theres only one YOU. I know its hard to let you of someone youve spents countless moments with good and bad. In the end you will thank yourself later. I promise you that.
    Good Luck in whatever you decide!!!!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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