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Thread: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Angry Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Do you ever want to just throw a sharp object across the room and it hit your boss?

    You know, I love my job and all, and I wake up every day thinking about how people would love to be in my position...... but I HATE being looked at like a freakin' dumb bitch. Our club is owned by men (of course) and no matter what I do, I'm treated like I'm a freakin' bitch office assistant.

    Last week our liquor distributor (total male pig) came in and was like, "hey, can you make me some coffee?"- all smug-
    Meanwhile, I'm totally in the middle of something, and I said "You've got to be f-ing kidding me- why are you asking me? What, you think because I'm a girl...." and of course the guy behind me and the distributor chirped in with laughter and both were like, "yeah". I'm nobody's secretary. I wanted to kick his old short scrawny ass.

    You know, the guys who own this place once told me (when I complained about the raise in house fees...twice) "you know, we PROVIDE these girls with a place to work-"
    I said "Let me tell you something, since you seem to know everything: the girls don't NEED you, you NEED them. They can go somewhere else and their customers will follow, too. You think that a customer is here to stare at the wood paneling? They are here because of the GIRLS". Oh man, I had it out with them.

    And why aren't we unionized?

    OH- and one more point- I am SO sick of the guys (owners/management) thinking that they know everything about the business. That they are soooo smart in this industry...that they know all about the customers...that they know what the girls want/need....they know what's best for the club.

    You know what? I have worked on BOTH sides (dancing/management): until you take off your clothes for a fat smelly bald sweaty man with cigar breath, don't tell me that you know everything. Until YOU are the one, alone, in a private room for an hour (or more) with a stinky drunk moran trying to get down your pants, don't tell me you know what the customers want.

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

    WHEW.... I feel much better now. Thanks for listening.

    Any of you out there feel similar?
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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    Senior Member countrywitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Wow..why ya holdin back? why dont ya just say how ya really feel? you're too shy....... I try to think about doin your job for an old fat shtinkee drunk woman.....I wouldnt do it F'n GROSS !!
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Well, what I meant is that typically, it's not a rich supermodel stud you end up dancing for. I've found that the really hot guys never spend money, and the much less attractive are always more sucessful.
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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    Senior Member countrywitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    I dont know...I'm not too successful..and I'm pretty sure I'm not a supermodel...Honestly for what its worth I'm amazed by you girls,and waitresses too,but thats a different subject. I'm amazed at the absolute shit ya'll put up with.I really couldnt do it. I'd pound somebody. You're great and thanks for puttin up with us !
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    One of the bartenders/ex-dancers finally quit because everyone had that "hey! you!" attitude. She said once "damnit, I'm 32-years-old, I've worked hard for this club for seven years. I own a house and stock portfolio, and [the owner] treats me like I'm his teenaged daughter!"
    I think it was GreenMnM on here that stated by far and large, this industry is a "good ol' boys" business. Though I have a female manager [drives me nuts, though, terrible example of female management], the most common boss-figure is gonna be the "good ol' boy" bleh.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    I see your frustrations. In my opinion most strip club owners would fail misserably in almost any other business. However, I think there are two realities that every dancer has to come to grips with-most already have.

    #1: Club owners and managers only care about how much money the club makes, not the dancers. If the dancer doesn't like it she can go work someplce else, 20 girls will be in audditioning for her spot before she's out of the parking lot.

    #2: LIke it or not, dancers need a club to dance in. Ya can't dance naked in the street for money. Dancers need a venue so, on some level, they have to deal with moronic managers and idiotic customers and everything else crapy about the job if they want to maximize their earnings. If the dancer doesn't like it she can go work someplce else, 20 girls will be in audditioning for her spot before she's out of the parking lot.


    That being said, I'm with CW, thanks for putting up with us.
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    Senior Member countrywitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    You girls will find,that for the most part,life is kinda like that no mater where you work...Theres several immutable rules about this,such as "shit flows down hill","he who has the gold makes the rules","life is like a shit sandwich...etc. etc. Its really not just a stripper thing.
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Senior Member countrywitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Ya can't dance naked in the street for money.

    Why cant they ?
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Veteran Member DJ_WuLf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    There are some successful female owners and managers BUT, for the most part, females do not "DO" well in club management situations. MANY have tried. Women with business training (Degrees) tens to have a very holier than thou attitude towards stripping ...even those who have been strippers. Ex (or current) dancers just cannot shake the competitive jealousy and usually try to over-compensate by trying to keep everybody happy ...which usually results in EVERYBODY being mad. You cannot run a business based entirely on what is best for it's employees/Independant contractors!

    Those women who can manage well seem to view Club management as a stepping stone and leave to move up where males tend to stay in a mid-management position longer (naked women are a perk).

    I agree that male managers/owners don't really "know" what customers want (we assume they want to get laid and try to provide that fantasy experience). GOOD Managers of any gender DO know what it takes to run a profitable business! That is sometimes different than what dancers desire the clubs policies to be.

    One point I HAVE to dis-agree on is the availability of quality dancers. WHile you may be beautiful and have a massive list of regulars ... NEVER think that you cannot be replaced (just as most managers can easily be replaced). There are sooo many more girls willing and ready to strip today that many clubs actually have waiting lists.

    You aren't unionized because you're not employees. YOU are your own boss! You do however choose to contract with your club and therefore are subject to it's guidelines. If you are unhappy with your contract terms ...move on.
    14 years working in Strip Clubs. "What a long strange trip it's been"

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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Well I think you've just about hit the nail on the head when it comes to bar managers and owners everywhere. I often think about how it's too bad that they never want to have dancer meetings and actually TALK to us and find out what their customers say to us about what they like and don't like.
    I remember ten's in NYC used to have dancer meetings, and Chris of VIP (now hustler) used to have them too (after work). Sugar's in Austin used to have them back in the day when they were one of the top clubs anywhere (early/mid nineties), but then they figured they knew it all , stopped having meetings, appreciating and treating the dancers with respect.....and now their sales are in the toilet to the point where the club isn't even making a profit every month anymore. You think they'd learn and start doing things the way they used to...but this would mean they would have to admit they were wrong, and you KNOW that's never gonna happen.

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Here in NYC, you can definitely dance naked in the streets for money- I doubt a cop would arrest you- he'd probably tip instead!

    Crescentluna- I'm in a managerial position now, and I work at night as well (taking care of my customers and making sure they are happy). I've brought in close to $300k in profit for the club I work for. On top of that, I personally have initialized our standard for events and created a position for myself that is invaluable. If I left there would be some serious problems. Basically, I break my ass for this place. I know, I know, I shouldn't, but damn it! I'm good at my job and for the most part, I like it. Once in a while I have feminist days like this.

    I just HATE that no matter what, I will always be treated like a stupid girl. Like I need to be showing my boss how to use a computer? Or ordering him food? Like I need to be typing up memos for him because he just learned how to turn on a computer this year. He hardly ever asks me to do anything for him anymore because I'll bite his head off.

    My boss tells people I am 'like' a manager, I am treated the same way- I am a leader in the office and have a team of people working under me. I have full access to any area (keys) I wish to go- and have access to security if needed. YET I STILL AM NOT INVITED TO THE MANAGERS MEETINGS. Which is where ALL the male staff go: Owners, Managers, Floor Hosts. Go figure.

    Whatever. It's a man's world. I would just LOVE to open up my own club- and I'd hire a mostly FEMALE staff.
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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    Senior Member countrywitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Those attitudes are universal,be it SC's,bars,construction companys,the state or the port-o-john outfit.
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    BRITTNEY:

    Funny you just said that:

    I ALWAYS tell my boss (one of the owners) that we should have meetings with the entertainers. ALWAYS. He's like, "for what? They don't care". It just blows my mind.

    I always talk to the entertainers. I ask them what they'd like changed, what kind of events they would like to see--- and when we have events here, I always let the girls order wholesale costumes and whatever. I reseach wholesale stores and contact them for the entertainers and fully take on the ordering/shipping/distributing. It's my pleasure. I go out of my way to make sure the girls are happy. I don't tell the girls what to wear during the event, I ask them. I want them to be happy because they are the ones making my customer happy.

    Gee, who would have thought that?! Make the entertainer happy so she'll make her customer happy and her customer will spend more money and come back more often!

    What a theory! Rocket Science, I tell ya.
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by nychaos99

    OH- and one more point- I am SO sick of the guys (owners/management) thinking that they know everything about the business. That they are soooo smart in this industry...that they know all about the customers...that they know what the girls want/need....they know what's best for the club.


    Any of you out there feel similar?
    Yes, definately!

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    I'm going to go burn my bra now.
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by nychaos99
    I just HATE that no matter what, I will always be treated like a stupid girl. Whatever. It's a man's world.
    Trust me, they do not think you are a "stupid girl." My guess is that your boss is probably either mildly intimidated or just skittish around somebody who is both a dancer and smart as hell. You are beautiful, competent and a financial asset to the club. Your only failing is that you are not one of the boys. There are worse sins. At the end of the day, who does this reflect poorly on?

    You work in a really fabulous club. I can't say enough good things about it, or about your own sensibilities. You are a class act. Don't let the boyz get you down.

    God, I need to get up to NYC soon!

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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    And why aren't we unionized?

    --
    even tho we are independent contractors, we can still be unionized.
    A dancer's union for fair right. not only would it give legitamacy to the profession of Dancing.
    I can almost guarantee that the rules would be changed in accordance with the law(instead of covering it up and being victimized so often in so many ways..)
    We would probably have to register and get a Tax ID this would also be good for Identification for various reasons.
    sine the sc buisness is so corrupt within, somethings bound to change, one way or the other. we either keep the status quo or move foward into fair rights

  18. #18
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    Sexism/ exploitation of women is rampant in many industries. You can't change biology/ knuckle-draggers. I once had a supervisor admit to me I was denied work in a department because of my gender. Seeing as this was a state agency, I could have made a stink about it and sued.....A nicer male co-worker confided in me that the unspoken attitude there was "no girls!" I decided it wasn't worth fighting over and went on to earn more using my God given femininity as a dancer......
    Not happy? Jump ship. There's no loyalty in this business. Look out for Number One.

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    Member otheia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    all the damn time

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting- ARRRGH!!!

    The Other Owner:

    Thanks for the compliments-

    I just get flustered with the guys here- like I don't know what I'm talking about, and they do. I wish soooo much I could open up my own club or be a consultant/investor in a new club.
    Esquire Club New York
    West Side
    New York, NY

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