Hey everyone,
I miss posting here..I have been pretty dormant for awhile due to the craziness of my own life. I'm actually going through the crazy emotions of falling in love, possibly for the first "real" time in my life. And I'm so excited. This guy is just..amazing. Gorgeous, smart, talented, sooo sensitive..how cliche huh? We're trying to deal with a few "issues" that are problems between us; we live across the country from one another. He lives in California,. I just moved to Florida. We see each other a few times a month, and are working on a move to be closer to one another. Well, I'll spare you the boring details and get right to the point; I fear he may be bisexual, and not telling me.
Not that bisexuality is taboo or I judge people that are, but I wont lie; I dont think I would be comfortable with having a boyfriend who is.Would I always have to compete with other men? Would he secretely want to be with other men?
In the beginning of our relationship, he would joke around with me and say how people do assume he is gay sometimes, that men will hit on him once in awhile. He claims it is because of his voice and his EXTREMELY outgoing personality.He is an actor and a musician and SUCH a people person. When I ask him what he thinks of this, he just sort of rolls his eyes and shrugs the "gay assumptions" off. But I have had my friends and family also come to me with the "is he bi?" question. They claim his "mannerisms" make them suspiscious. I deny it to the hilt. I reason with myself; he can t be bi. He is so turned onto me (and women in general), is in his 30's and claims to have slept with an amount up in the 30's, but says he has never been with man. "I don't like men. I don't like dick. I see nothing passionate or anything I want that has to do with a man..I want you."
He was in a seven year relationship with some chick before he met me and she broke his heart. You can tell she fucked him over real good...The thing about this guy too, is he is SO honest and clear with expressing his intent/emotions/needs. He has told me some ugly things (not concerning sexuality) just because he is such an open, honest person..Everyone who meets him says, "hmm he seems like a very straightforward guy..very open..." So why am I doubting him when he tells me he is straight?
(and yes, it is making me feel like a horrible person).
These are the reasons why I think he might be bi. I KNOW they are stereotypical and maybe ridiculous..In fact, I hope to God that they are. Maybe I just need someone to tell me so...
Like some of my family/friends say; his mannerisms. The way he speaks; lots of annunciation.. the man loves to shop more than I do, has male friends that are gay and has hung out at gay bars with them before, BUT asserts that he is more than confident about his sexuality so it doesnt bother him. Recently he told me that he kissed two boys (closed-mouth) at a work party, because it was a joke, they were goofing off, and he is an actor so...whatever. We got into a heated discussion about this and he became hurt that I would think he was bi.
I am at a loss here..Could I just attribute these things to my own ignorance of actors/musicians/some people in general? Am I being presumptious and insecure? The guy swears he is not bi. Why would he lie? What would he gain?
Has anyone ever gone through anything similar to this? What happened? Is dating a "closet" bi man really different from dating a regular guy? Obviously he knows he wants to be with me,,,maybe I should just suck it up and get past it. I am very confused and falling more for this guy every day.
I'm so sorry for the long rant..but I dont know whether to push ahead, accept it and get over it, or end it while I am ahead. Are there and 100% ways to know if a man is bi-sexual??


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... and some of us can be confident enough in our own sexuality that we're not bothered by hanging out in gay bars, or with gay friends or defending any sexual preference for that matter.





That good ole gut feeling.
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