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Thread: Dropping Out of School

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    Member JustineTaylor's Avatar
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    Default Dropping Out of School

    I wokred as a dancer this summer, made a ton of cash, and two weeks later my boyfriend found out and made me quit. I went off to college (which my parents pay for, including food/dorm) and failed all my classes, (which they don't know about.) I have no car, and cannot get a job, mainly because I cannot get to work without fo car. I am going back home tomorrow to live with my dad for winter break. I gre up in a town where the average house is worth 2 million dollars, if you know what I mean. Very stuck up peopple, including the boyfriend ad his friends, and I'm stuck there feeling insecure.

    I ahve considered taking a year off from college to work and buy things like a car... but after that I want to go back to school. I would probably break up witht he boyfriend in this. Anyways, just from writing this I am feeling a little better about staying in school, but I need a little reassurance.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Justine, I'm not sure what you're asking here. Are you considering giving college a pass for a year and working at a 'straight job' ? Are you considering working as a dancer for a year ?

    The 'standard answer' you'd probably get is that you should stay in school at all costs, do what your family and friends expect you to do, etc. leading to graduating from college, marrying one of the boys from the 2 million dollar neighborhood, and living happily ever after. I'm probably going to give you a different answer.

    If your question was about quitting school to work at a 'straight job', to me this would be a total waste of time from a risk versus return standpoint. While this is somewhat 'socially acceptable', you're not going to earn enough money to justify the year of 'prime time' you'd be devoting.

    On the other hand, working full time as a dancer for a year, cashing in big time, using your dancing earnings to buy a car and otherwise set yourself up for independent living, and then returning to school might make a whole lot of sense IMHO.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Yeah, lose the boyfriend.
    I disliked college. And judging from what my two siblings in school say, the professors are space cadets on tenure and the system is structured to suck all the money out of your pocket (textbooks, pre-requisite classes, plus assorted related expenses..)
    I did not-as-good-as-I-should've too...I didn't want to be there. If you really don't want to be in school, don't go!!! It is a waste of everyone's time. One of my favorite bosses told me, "School will still be there later on." He meant some people have it in them to put it off but still finish.
    Good luck, and learn as much as you can outside of school as you would in school....you might luck into a good career where you won't need a big degree.......

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    It doesn't sound like it's about college, rather it's about your career and economic choices being dictated by your boyfriend. If I had a free lap dance for every girl that posted on SW about her controlling and dictatorial boyfriend...

    Drop the boyfriend, stay in school.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Yea, I agree..if he doesn't support you on that type of level, then don't waste your time on him..you need a man that is secure in the relationship, and apparently he isn't..as for college, I would definitely stay in. You can't be a dancer forever. Some strip clubs have special schedules for girls that are in college, such as the hours and days you work. It can't hurt to audition and ask about these things!

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    Veteran Member HoneyHITZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Hey honey, as a girl that is really not happy in school, do what you feel is right. Im staying in school because my husband said i have no choice. What i do after school is my decision, but i have to finish my bachelors degree. However, school is expensive, and since i got married my parents wont pay. I say get rid of the controlling boyfriend, yes i KNOW, easier said than done, but i did it once, and he straightened up like you wouldnt believe... i even married him. Hes making me stay in school, but thats the only thing he tries to control. ANyways, dont let him tell you you're doing anything wrong or that you cant, he does NOT own you, and he will not even when you're married. Just get rid of him and dont even tell him you're dancing, its none of his business, because depending on the kind of guy he is, he may threaten to tell your parents, making things just a million times harder... good luck, and if you need anyone to talk to, PM me

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Stay in School....Dump him.

    Good luck


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Stripping doesn't last for-ever. Whatever you decide, keep that in the back of your mind. I would try part time school and part time dancing. Generally you'll make more that way anyway. I'd try for some type of degree..... if you only danced for 2 weeks, you might not have gotten the full feel for the job yet. Yes, for some taking a year off and saving for school sounds like a good idea, but if your dad is sooooo rich and willing to pay your way through school, why not hit him up for a car. Being a stripper has a lot of negative stereo-types, and if you decide to keep dancing be prepared to deal with them. But in the end you have to do what is best for you and only you. Your boyfriend should definately be put on hold for a while til you can decide for yourself what you feel you need to do with your life. Good luck to you, by the way if your dad is looking for someone to adopt let me know. I am dancing full time and going to school full time and would love to have some one pay for it all.

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    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Dump the BF, Have long talk with parents (explain you just need time to figure out what's next....will they help with school later, etc) - though they may be rich, even stuck up (your word) they are supportive of you (financially at least) and should get a chance.

    Once that is over, sit down and decide what's next. They may say no break, go back to school and you might decide not to anyway - but at least you'll have all the facts.

    School is VIP, and it gets harder as you get older (to discipline yourself) but a year or so off isn't bad...its the "year off" that turns to 10.

    Good luck, hon. keep in touch, and by the way What are you studying?

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Lose the boyfriend for sure. It's obviously not going to work out anyway - he "made" you quit dancing, which was clearly not ok with you.

    I also think skipping school for a year makes more sense if what you want is more independence. Your parents will likely not be happy with this, and may decide not to pay for school when you want to go back later, but dancing can pay for it! Dance full time for a year and save your money. If you use your money wisely and don't blow it all on a fancy apartment and shopping, you can buy yourself a car IN CASH and save a nice chunk to get you started with school or whatever else you decide to do.

    I used part of my prime time dancing years to go to college, and I'm glad I went. But if I had it to do over, I'd wait until AFTER I'd quit dancing and saved the money I wanted, THEN worried about college later. You can always go to college, but you have limited years to bank as a dancer.

    And I disagree with dd above, it gets EASIER to discipline yourself as you get older and more mature. I didn't start college until I was 25 and I did MUCH better then than I would have at 18 because I was more settled. I just wish I'd waited a little longer and used those years to save my money. Dd is right that 1 year away from school often turns into 10, but I don't see that as a problem if you're saving a ton of cash in the meantime. A fat bank account gives you alot of room to make alot of choices you may not have otherwise.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  11. #11
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Take the year off. Not everybody is ready for college immediately after high school. I got thrown out after a year and a half... not an easy thing to do at a large state university, mind you! But when I went back after 4 years in the military, did great. Don't waste your time or your parents money trying to make yourself do it if you're just not ready for it right now.
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
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    Veteran Member purgatori's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    The question is, do you want to get on your own two feet completely, mean, getting job, money, a room on your own or is it just you failing school and need some distance?
    anyway... your interests don't seem to be the same as your boyfriends here. From what you say I also say, dump him - you don't need someone telling you whats aproproiate to to (for him to look good) .

    If you want to get onto your own feet, parttime dancing and school is a good idea. Giving yourself a break, earn money, start a life and go back after a year might also be good. but whatever you do, you should get a plan and - important - stick to it! don't drop school completely. this is your future
    alternative may be, you getting told by everyone what to do.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    as everyone has said... lose the man.

    Now about school - Bambi suggested going part time and working part time, and I think that is a great idea. Here's the thing.. I dropped my classes one semester as a bio major - after i encountered organic chem and calc II (aaaaah!) and I decided that the medical route was not the way for me to go. So, for the remainder of the semester, I just worked (danced).

    Just taking HALF of a semester off made it very difficult for me to get back into the groove of full time school, and it made me ponder what money I could make if I just took some more time off.

    Well, I went back, am glad I did... have one semester left.. and have continued to work part time (2, sometimes 3 days a week) and have made more than enough to cover my expenses and bulk up my savings. Another thing to consider is burnout. Right now it might sound really good to think of dancing 5-6 days a week and raking in the bucks... but realistically (and especially since youre still a newbie) its very possible that that many nights at a club each week would send you plummeting towards burn out.

    Stay in school - go part time. And make it a priority (work hard to keep those grades up!) Work part time so you can support yourself. If you drop out now, you may never go back.

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    Veteran Member purgatori's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    wise words, tampadancer!

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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    I go back to my usual comment - regardless of whether you are dancing or not, why do you want to spend your time with a person who "judges" you in such a manner? "You can be my girlfriend as long as you fit in this pretty little box because if you don't then you're not worthy of being displayed and seen with me."

    Fuck that.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    And I disagree with dd above, it gets EASIER to discipline yourself as you get older and more mature. I didn't start college until I was 25 and I did MUCH better then than I would have at 18 because I was more settled.
    Concur with B completely here. Started college at 23 after the military and it made all the difference.

    And GB is right; those of us that knew we weren't ready for college and entered the military or some other transititional/maturation vocation were much better prepared for the rigors of higher education.

    Plus it's easier to score with the chicks when you're older in school.

    Wait, did I just type that?

    Ahem.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    Kill the boyfriend,dispose of the body properly.

    Stay in school!!!!!

    Your parents are paying for everything right???

    No brainer!!!!

    Stay in school.

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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    First of all, lose the guy. If he can't understand your situation and try to help and support you emotionally, he's not doing ANYTHING but hurting you.

    Second, take a year (or even just a semester off). If you can. I wanted to, (so very very very badly) but would lose my health insurance and car insurance if I did. Which sucks ass. Find out what the consequences of leaving school is. Going part time sucks. (Been there done that.) You pay up the ass for 2 classes when you could be paying the same for 5. Plus it doesn't count as being a "student" for insurance purposes (at least in my case).

    So, take the time to help yourself. School is a waste (of time, money) if you just blow it off (like I did). Like Bridgette said, sometimes it is just better at 25 than at 18.

    PM me if you need to talk! I know how you feel.
    Good luck.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Veteran Member Sapphire's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: Dropping Out of School

    At one time, I found myself in a similar situation. During the Spring Semester of 2002 I had failed all my classes at WVU after having three semesters of decent grades. I had hit an all time low. I decided to take a year off and work. I thought that maybe I was one of those kids who was not meant to go to college or something. This ended up being a long, hard year because I found out how hard it was to find a regular full time day job that pays decent with out a college degree or experience. A lot of people were very disappointed, but it was the first time in my life, that I had really made a decision for myself. I needed to get out on my own. After a year away from school I decided to go back, but this time to a much smaller school (about 3,000 students instead of 25,000). I was able to get back on my feet slowly and work a part time day job. Now I am back at WVU full time and dancing part time (Fridays and Saturdays).
    My best advice for you is to go with what you feel is right. Even though people may be dissappointed or angry with your choices, you are number one. You have to make decisions for you. Unfortunately I learned this a little bit late in the game. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dropping Out of School

    hardkandee brought up a great point which I hadn't considered... if you are still on your parents insurance (which I am assuming you are if they are paying your expenses) you will most likely get dropped if you lose "full time student" status. In that case, buying your own policy is an expensive necessity (since, of course, dancers cannot get benefits from work...argh.)

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