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Thread: The Final Exam.... Hilarious

  1. #1
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    The Final Exam.... Hilarious

    I read this a couple of years ago.... but it's sooo good, I had to share.

    Enjoy
    - AG



    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question:

    Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and Take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Final Exam.... Hilarious

    LOL!

    Heh, reminds me of a Philosophy paper I wrote on whether god exists, which the prof found rather amusing. But mine wasn't NEARLY that good

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Final Exam.... Hilarious

    I read this somewhere else, but it's still funny. Heh

    I pulled a stunt like this on one of my college papers and got an F and a demand to re-write it. Hump...the prof had no sense of humor.

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    Member Casey-11's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Final Exam.... Hilarious

    The same professor went on and on about essays that made use of a double negative. "A double negative results in the affirmative, although a double positive does not result in an negative statement," he said, "So if you expect a decent grade in this class, you'd better watch your grammar or I'll be seeing you again over this summer."
    To which a kid in the back row answered, "Yeah, right."

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