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Thread: How to win over a couple?

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    How to win over a couple?

    I didn't know whether to plug this one into the Hustle Hut or Customer Convo area, but here goes...

    A few times we've had couples come into our club. It's not a very common occurrance, but I realise that it can potentially be an extremely good money maker.

    I've frequented clubs as part of a couple to learn a few ideas on how dancers tailor their approach but have been extremely disappointed with all efforts (i.e. they've either avoided us altogether or come across as pretty darn cold, I find I'm the one that always has to put in the effort in the end and then I lose interest).

    I know to be confident, open and relaxed, but I will admit that I personally find it to be a little tough to know how to break the ice when I'm seated next to a couple. What could I say or do to make them (esp. the girl) more relaxed and leave a lasting impression on both persons, how can I get them around to the idea for a dance and how do I close the deal? Is there a general attitude that any others normally adopt that works? I just don't feel that comfortable using the same approach as I do to only the men.

    The thing is, I most definitely am not nervous about actually dancing for them, just a bit stuck on how to get to that stage. I just generally find that I'm reeling the guy in more than the girl.

    Any ideas...??!
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    Veteran Member Emiliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    I found the best thing to do is approach the girl and flirt with her, compliment her and generally make sure she is having fun...the girl usually controls the guys money and will be more than happy to buy dances for the novel aspect...if you approach the guy first and flirt she may get a little jealous and if that happens you wont be makin any money off him lol

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    Veteran Member Adina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Ditto...focus on reeling in the girl, not the guy. It's a fantasy for most men to see two women together. Play into that fantasy.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Approach her, tell her how cute she is, ask if she's going to audition, etc. Ask if it's her first time there, ask if she's had a lapdance yet, if her and her husband (always assume, it makes them more confident) have had a dance together. Tell her you would love to dance for them, you love dancing for couples, etc. Give compliments that make her more comfortable and confident... "oooh, you two are so cute together!" If they act interested but don't want a dance I'll usually say, "so do you like girls, or are you here for him?"

    Older women in particular are mostly there to feed their man's fantasy, and their own fantasy of being like us. Tell her you love doing two girl shows and you know how to make it extra hot for her man so that he won't be able to keep his hands off her when they get home. Get them in a champagne room and get her dancing with you, show her some stripper moves, make her feel sexy.

    At the same time, tell the guy how hot his wife is, that you want to ease her in slowly and make sure she's comfortable, etc.

    Lena



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Lena has it.

    Concentrate on the girl. Approach her first, sit between them but pay all your attention to her. Compliment her, tell him what a lucky guy he is to have her. Tell them you love dancing for couples, then turn to him and inform him in front of her that you hope he doesn't mind if you spend most of your time on her, *wink wink*. While dancing for them I like to position myself in the middle of them, mostly dancing for her while giving a good view and suggestive positions for him. And get her up dancing with you too. Not much else to add, it's all pretty much been covered.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    From a customer's perspective this is all excellent advice. Almost everything mentioned above has been done very successfully with me and my wife. I would add that with her, it is often a good starting move to (at least appear to) speak more "honestly" with her than with male customers. Be relatively open with her--establish a little bit of a female bond/trust in the midst of the male energy of a SC. Once she has gotten a little comfortable chatting after a few minutes, then turn up the heat/flirting a little bit.

    Most dancers who approach us when we are at the tip rail also make a point to ask my wife whether she likes to be danced for, or whether they need to be "careful". This gives her a chance to express her desires. In the case of my wife, she almost always desires lots of attention from dancers.

    As for the money, it is almost always in my pocket, but if she gives me the look that says that she wants a dance, I will always hand her whatever she wants. I am always so happy that she is there and into the situation, that I am more than happy to spend money for things that she wants. Same thing with decisions regading VIP rooms--she always has veto power. So if you win her over, that is much more than half the battle.

    One final thing--the advice to spend most of the attention on the woman is excellent. But don't ignore the guy TOO much. You want him to be happy that his wife is getting attention, and feel turned on to see her with another woman--but you don't want him to feel ignored. Give him just enough attention that he is begging to spend more time with you...and his SO.
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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Exactly. That's the reason I like to position myself in the middle of the two while dancing. It makes it easier to pay most attention to her and give him some to him too. I can sit on his lap and run my hands on her thighs, get in her lap and lean back to show him a nice view of the two of us with both our legs spread in front of him, bend over in front of him while breathing in her ear....etc.

    As far as the sales pitch, yes pay some attention to him, but be sure she gets the most - first and last. Pay a little more attention to him once you've gotten her warmed up, but never forget she's the one with "veto" power She will also often make sure you're tipped well, so if she's happy, you'll be more likely to get a tip. And if you've made her happy, she'll most likely want to come back to see you again - and the guy will be more than happy to play along

    I find the girls like a bit of "insider" chat in the beginning - helps with the female bonding thing as DG said. Be open to answering their questions, offer details, as if you're telling them a special secret that the guys don't get in on. It may take a little more time at first than with a man, but once you've got her it's smooth sailing. She'll spend all the money her man has to spend on you.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    All wonderful advice, I've had mixed luck with couples, sometimes excellent [like one couple, guy bought a dance for his wife, then wife bought a dance for husband, then they wanted one together ] other times, erm, not so lucky - to say the least.
    But anyway, I've noticed couples tend to be extremely loyal regulars.
    Good luck.
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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    I am completely absorbing this, thank you everybody for the help. Also to Lena, I think that your advice sounds fantastic. I'm gonna try and implement these themes next time opportunity knocks.

    Cheers!!
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by CrescentLuna
    But anyway, I've noticed couples tend to be extremely loyal regulars.
    Good luck.
    True..if my wife and I find a dancer we like, and who clearly enjoys dancing for us, we are very likely to seek that dancer out again...
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Bleeeecccchhhh!!!! I had the misfortune of dancing for a couple last night. Their friend came up and bought the dance in advance, which was all fine. When I retrieved the couple from the stage, I could smell a REALLY FOUL stench coming from one of them as they got out of their seats. Oh boy. But I am a pro so I went right on and took them back, and proceded with the dance. I situated her on the couch in the booth and him on the chair so I could get in the middle. Still smelling that stench and being ultra careful not to show.

    As soon as I turned to her and she leaned back, there it was, in full force, the absolute nastiest pussy smell I've ever smelled to date. Ever. I soooooo wanted to yark. I think she must have had BV. I wondered how on earth the guy managed to have sex with her because I could barely stand to be near her fully clothed. I couldn't do anything I normally would for a chick/couple dance cuz I was too busy trying not to yark all over both of them. Somehow I must have done a pretty good dance though, cuz they were all hot n bothered at the end of the song, and I was ever so grateful they didn't request another dance!

    How on earth could she not smell herself??? For fuck's sake that was the most disgusting odor I've had the displeasure of whiffing in AGES!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Ugh, B! That's horrid! How could she not know she smelt so strong? I hope she wasn't going commando in a mini. That is bad etiquette in an SC.

    I hope that I don't ever cross a situation like that in my lifetime!

    I just have a q to ask to DeepGreen (as you seem to be the only part-couple customer responding) - you said that your wife desires attention from the dancers, which is good, but is there anything in particular that gets her to like a dancer, what they say or do? Is there any particular response from your wife that also gets you going that's induced by the dancer?

    I know that everyone is different, but I know myself and what I like in an SC; I like little things when I'm in a club like light touching, great eye contact, etc. However, I understand that this can be a little to overt for some people, esp. female to female. I just want to get a general picture fro other females so I can have more ammo.

    Also to the other ladies, if you've ever been part of a visiting couple/group, what personal experiences have you had with dancers that have made you want to spend money and possibly return to a dancer?

    Cheers for any input
    You are the envy
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    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malibu
    Also to the other ladies, if you've ever been part of a visiting couple/group, what personal experiences have you had with dancers that have made you want to spend money and possibly return to a dancer?

    Cheers for any input
    As half of a couple who goes to SCs on occasion, the dancer(s) that actually pay attention to our existance get my vote. There was one girl in a club who after a dance said how much she likes to have women in the club and all that. No matter if she was being serious, or just using good sales tactics, it won us over and she got our money.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    I've always approached the table...and greeted the woman first and then her partner. It seems to break the ice better when the woman feels that she isn't "second fiddle". Flirt with the woman a little more and you can almost guarantee that she'll get more dances.

    One quick note: There were times when I absolutely would not approach a couple. If the woman is scowling at the stage and every dancer that walks by with her arms crossed...I wouldn't even bother. I felt that she didn't want to be there and I was not going to waste my time with "talking" her into spending money.

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    One quick note: There were times when I absolutely would not approach a couple. If the woman is scowling at the stage and every dancer that walks by with her arms crossed...I wouldn't even bother. I felt that she didn't want to be there and I was not going to waste my time with "talking" her into spending money.
    Very true...I'm sure all of us (dancers and customers alike) have seen lots of examples of the women who are just unpleasant in a SC--either coming in to "check up on" their SO, or because he put pressure on her to go, etc. However, it seems to me that in many cases, these women can be easily identified, whereas those who are having more fun are also easy to pick out. But then, the dancers would probably know this much better than I would...
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    One quick note: There were times when I absolutely would not approach a couple. If the woman is scowling at the stage and every dancer that walks by with her arms crossed...I wouldn't even bother. I felt that she didn't want to be there and I was not going to waste my time with "talking" her into spending money.
    Absolutely. If a girl is obviously not happy about being there, going over is nothing but a waste of time. I've seen a few girls just shooting steam out of their ears they are so upset. It is always funny when the guys are completely oblivious.... you can tell that relationship is going far...



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malibu
    I just have a q to ask to DeepGreen (as you seem to be the only part-couple customer responding) - you said that your wife desires attention from the dancers, which is good, but is there anything in particular that gets her to like a dancer, what they say or do? Is there any particular response from your wife that also gets you going that's induced by the dancer?
    Cheers for any input
    She loves dancers that appear honestly friendly, but flirty/sexy at the same time. More heavy-handed hustle methods usually do not work well with her--they tend to cause her to back off. She also loves when dancers make a special point to be sexy with her at the edge of the stage. One of her favorite dancers came over one night, gestured to the male customers at the tip rail, whispered "let's make their heads explode," and proceeded to do the sexiest, most drawn out dance for my wife I have ever seen at the edge of a stage. She loved it, I loved it, and the other customers loved it. The most important thing, however, is for a dancer to somehow make her feel special (as mentioned by VG above). She is often one of the few women in the club. If a dancer sits down and talks to her in a somehow more intimate, friendly, or apparently honest way than the other male patrons, it makes her feel like she is special. She loves that. She also knows that she is in a SC surrounded by beautiful women--so as mentioned above, coming up with subtle ways to make her feel attractive is great too. One way to think of it--imagine that you are into women in real life, and are trying to flirt with her in a regular, non-SC bar (trying to pick her up). Tell her she looks sexy, compliment her body or clothes, tell her you love how she does her hair and ask her if she uses anything special on it, tell her she would make an awesome dancer... The dancers who act in this sort of way are likely to be very popular with my wife.

    Other things that she has mentioned-- She is naturally a bit shy, and would never do anything to offend a dancer during a LD. The dancers that she likes are very playful and free in touching her, and encourage her to touch back. She will rarely touch a dancer unless encouraged to do so, even though she very much likes it. She loves it when a dancer playfully asks her to touch her body/breasts, or will take her hand (or face ) and place it there.

    What do I like? Just watching my wife close her eyes, give a little sigh, and enjoy what a dancer does for her during a LD is a huge turn on. When I see her start to respond in a way which indicates that she is very aroused, it totally gets me going. I love watching a dancer play with my wife's breasts or vice versa. More generally, just the image of the two beautiful female bodies entwined together is enough to make me feel like I'm in heaven. A few dancers have also kissed or run their mouths over her breasts or torso, which she loves but would never ask for, and pretty much makes my head explode.

    Hope that is helpful...
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    DeepGreen, that has been more than helpful, thank you very much!!

    This is exactly the type of thing I like for myself, I love getting the attention that your wife loves, and quite possibly, a lot of other female customers do also. I think the reason why previous visits to SCs have been so dull is because a lot of dancers just don't know how to provide that fantasy or just feel plain threatened by other women.

    If I do these things at work, at least I'll set myself apart in some way and hopefully see a change in my responses from couples.

    You guys are da bomb! Thank you!!
    You are the envy
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    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    You're very welcome!!
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    I will spend more time hanging out with couples rather than push the "ready to dance" line with them. I find that this time spent is worth it because if a couple invites you to sit with them, they will want a dance.

    Many guys will invite me to sit with them well-knowing they aren't going to spend, just to waste time.

    I "broke in" a new girl at the club the other night, there with her boyfriend. They were pretty young. Walking by, we caught each other's eyes, I said hello, and conversation just began to flow...I waited 2 songs, and she was a bit shy. I gently whispered to her that I would take it easy and encouraged her to let me know her limits. She was in heaven by the end of the dance.

    When the angry female custy is looking down at the floor, there is no way to make any eye contact with her. This works fine for me as I won't bother coming by and trying anything....

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    I will spend more time hanging out with couples rather than push the "ready to dance" line with them. I find that this time spent is worth it because if a couple invites you to sit with them, they will want a dance.
    Many guys will invite me to sit with them well-knowing they aren't going to spend, just to waste time.
    ^ This is very true of us. Excellent point Katrine. We will never invite a dancer over unless we are planning to get dances. However, we see lots of guys invite dancers over, and then never spend a dime.

    I "broke in" a new girl at the club the other night, there with her boyfriend. They were pretty young. Walking by, we caught each other's eyes, I said hello, and conversation just began to flow...I waited 2 songs, and she was a bit shy. I gently whispered to her that I would take it easy and encouraged her to let me know her limits. She was in heaven by the end of the dance.
    I don't think that we count as young (mid-thirties), but the same sort of thing works great for my wife.
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    As the female counterpart of a couple that frequents the clubs, thought I'd add my 2 cents for what it's worth.

    The clubs we tend to go to have more contact type tipping. One is in Canada and is full lay on the stage type tipping, the other is walk up to a ground level stage and still get a lot of contact type tipping. Anyhow, my husband 99% will do the tipping during the dances (there is no stage to sit at-- as it's just lots and lots of little tables spread throughout the club). The biggest reason is the other men in the club. I don't feel like being there for their display, and going up and tipping causes much attention from the other customers I don't want.
    Just adding this in because we are still very much there to spend (we never go w/o very full wallets). I am there because I want to be, I just don't show the stage interest for personal reasons.

    Anyhow, we've found very few dancers that actually will speak to us much less thank us. I really don't know what it is about couples that scares away the dancers. I will see the same girls spend hours w/ a deadbeat who isn't parting w/ his precious dollar. Rather than looking our way (or any other couples for that fact). So, the dancers who have gotten our attention and money did it mostly by being friendly and non-pressure. I want to feel comfortable w/ the dancer. If I don't I'm not gonna have any fun. We had our "regular" for quite awhile and she was truly the greatest! It got to the point she'd pretty much spend the whole evening w/ us (we made sure she was well compensated) and we had fun. It got to the point we began talking about hers and our kids (okay well her and I did-- at that point my husband did began getting dances alone w/ other dancers-- which I didn't mind one bit). Anyhow, to make a long story short--- the first 3 times we visited that club (which were my first 3 times ever in a SC), she didn't pressure sell us into anything. She visited for a little bit, let us know once that dances could be sold to both of us or just myself (as we confessed never being before). She remembered us everytime after and made a point to always speak to us. Well, we did begin getting dances together and alone and eventually from other dancers as well. However, it was always w/ the ones that made a point to talk first.
    Now, I know you're there to make money, but I need to feel comfortable to be able not feel awkward during the dance. Probably alittle more ground work needs to be laid, but the payout will be much more I make sure of that.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Well...for what it's worth, I'll also throw in my $.02 as well.

    I am the rarity in the SC....a solo female customer. I am at the SC for two reasons.....to gossip with the dancers, and to get laps. I am not shy (either in the LD itself, or in flagging down a lady that catches my eye). What I want in a lap probably differs from other female custys who are there with their SO, or those who are very shy around the dancers. I like soft, subtle touching, but I also want the dance to be pretty sexual as well, much like a male custy would (don't worry...I NEVER go commando!!!). Most dancers pick up very quickly on what a female custy is comfortable with, and I have rarely been disappointed. I would also never ask a dancer to work outside of her comfort zone, either.

    I don't have a problem approaching the stage...as a matter of fact, stage tipping was the primary way I got dancers to come over to my table. But I do understand some women being uncomfortable with stage tipping. It definitely makes you the center of attention for a bit.

    Once I've been to a club a time or two, I don't seem to have too much trouble getting girls to approach me. It could be because I am not part of a couple, so I don't pose the potential drama that some couples can bring (not all couples, of course).

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    Just to add, alot of dancers need the encouragement to approach your table if you are a couple. Alot of women look down upon us and we are tired of dealing with it.

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    Default Re: How to win over a couple?

    my club has ladies night sat night and anytime a guy buys a dance i make sure the couple knows she goes in the couch room for free. the only thing to remember is to be respectful and include everyone in whatever your doing dancing or talking. beware the jealous chicks, you'll pick up on it asap.
    Carpe Diem!

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