Yep.. Passing on some funnies I got in my email a few minutes ago.. Enjoy! Hope everyone is having a great New Year's Celebration! I'm happily watching Conan! Weeeeeeee!
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Picking a Wife
A man is dating three women and wants to pick one to marry. He decides to give them a test.
He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see
what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done
this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns
several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests
the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with The money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
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Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this
time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us
know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't
you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur
coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account
certificate for £5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you
Daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's
parked outside plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)...an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it you said you had become?"
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"
"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said
"a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"
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Very Cute,


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