Okay, so the thread on cheating got me thinking about a related but somewhat different topic. That is, what do you do about crushes in your current relationship, where the crush is on someone else (i.e., not on your SO?)IMHO, little crushes on other people are almost unavoidable in a long-term relationship, no matter how devoted and in-love you happen to be. So what is the best and most appropriate way to deal with them? How do you deal with them personally? I'm not talking about crushes on movie stars or people who are "beyond reach," but real life crushes on people you know.
Here's why I am interested. My wife and I are blessed with a wonderful, solid relationship--aside from being married we are best friends, and have been for the last 15 years. We know that the other person will occassionally have crushes on other people, and it doesn't bother us at all. We talk about it openly, and don't treat it as if there is anything to hide. Usually, it is so obvious when it happens to one of us that we tend to tease each other mercilessly about it, and we have never yet encouraged the other person not to interact with the object of his/her crush. We treat it as just part of life, and something to be embraced and enjoyed just like everything else. Sometimes, my wife has actually encouraged me to spend time with women who she knows I like. At the same time, we are both strictly monogamous--I have never cheated, nor been seriously tempted. I am sure she is the same.
While this feels very comfortable to the two of us, I suspect that it may not be common to others. However, I'm not sure. Hence, the question--what happens in your relationship when you get a crush (little or big) on someone else?Do you share it with your SO? Do they mind? Do you feel guilty about it?
Please share!



IMHO, little crushes on other people are almost unavoidable in a long-term relationship, no matter how devoted and in-love you happen to be. So what is the best and most appropriate way to deal with them? How do you deal with them personally? I'm not talking about crushes on movie stars or people who are "beyond reach," but real life crushes on people you know.
, and we have never yet encouraged the other person not to interact with the object of his/her crush. We treat it as just part of life, and something to be embraced and enjoyed just like everything else. Sometimes, my wife has actually encouraged me to spend time with women who she knows I like. At the same time, we are both strictly monogamous--I have never cheated, nor been seriously tempted. I am sure she is the same.
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I know the feeling. Ex boyfriend was beefin when I told him how much I loved Al Pacino-he tried to compare it to me meeting him and how would I handle the situation and blah blah blah.........I feel u mami..........I really can't understand jealousy about celebs. Hey, I didn't care that he wanted to boink Beyonce? Geez.........

I mean, we've been married for over ten years, and no, we don't have sex as often as we used to at the very beginning. However, we still love sex, and kiss/touch each other all the time. I would think that it would be hard to be in a relationship in which you had no interest in that with the guy...but then I guess everyone is different.
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