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Thread: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

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    Default Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    A man goes to see a Priest and says, Father,my wife is unfaithful to me, every evening she goes to Daves bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her ! I'm going crazy... what should I do ???
    "Relax", says the Priest, " take a deep breath and calm down.... now, tell me exactly where is Daves bar"

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    Senior Member Lolita86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    a little boy goes up to his father and asks "Dad, what does a vagina look like?" His dad replies, "Well son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." The boy pondered this for a moment and said "What about after sex?" To which the father replied "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

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    Member Casey-11's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    A week before Christmas, while delivering the mail, a Postman was greeted at the door to one house by a beautiful woman, wearing only heels and a smile.

    Without a word, she took his hand and led him into the kitchen, sat him down, and served him a sumptuous breakfast of steak and eggs with all the trimmings.

    When he was finished eating, she again took him by the hand and led him up to her bedroom, where she made passionate love to him all day long.

    When he was finally exhausted and dressing to go, the young nymphette handed the Postman a dollar bill.

    Confused, The Postman had to ask, "Lady, I dont understand...you feed be the most amazing meal, we engage in the best sex Ive ever had in my life, and now you're giving me a dollar??? What gives?"

    "Well," she cooed, "Last night, my husband and I were discussing what we should give the Postman for a Christmas tip.
    My hubby said, 'Fuckem--give him a buck.'
    ...the breakfast was my idea."

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    an oldie but a goodie:

    What's the difference between aspirin and a dancer's boyfriend?

    -Aspirin works.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Life.

  6. #6
    God/dess tiamaria's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Men!!!!!lmfao!!!!!!!

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    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    You know the world has gone crazy when our country is being ran by people who call themselves, "Bush, Dick, and Colon." hahaha.......gotta luv Chris Rock
    "You love my lady lumps."



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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    A ham sandwich is walking through the desert for miles and miles. It is on the verge of dying from dehydration. It finally comes across a bar in the middle of nowhere. It enters the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

    The bartender says, "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I've got all the beer your could ever want out back. The bad news is, we don't serve food here."

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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    A Priest was driving along and saw a Nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a lovely leg.
    The Priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he slid his hand up her leg.

    the Nun looked at him and immediatly said,"Father, remember Psalm 129".

    The Priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However,he was unable to remove eyes from her leg.

    Further on while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The Nun once again said,"Father, remember Psalm 129".

    Once again the Priest apologizes."Sorry Sister,but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the Convent, the Nun got out and gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.

    On his arrival at the Church, thr Priest rushed to retrive a bible and look up Psalm 129.

    It said,"Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory.....

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    roflmao!!!!!!
    What a riot!!!!!!!!

    Ok i want to post a joke,but its really offensive and really dirty.I dont think its kewl to tell in mixed company without permission so i posted it in the stripperweb archive for the people who want to see it.

    You have been warned and cant flame me for its contents!!!!!!!

    Hit the alt key and the F4 key at the same time to see it.


    :::runnin::::

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    You're an *ss,BigGreen.

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    You're an *ss,BigGreen.

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    hehehehehehehehehehh

  13. #13
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Ya fucker!!! Big Greeen!!!! :-)


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Q: Why did the farmer think he had an STD?







    A: He was allergic to wool
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    A man and his wife are in bed and he wants to have sex. She says "Not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The man rolls over and tries to go to sleep. After a few minutes he taps his wife on the shoulder and says "Honey, do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"

    What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?
    The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

  16. #16
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    From www.jokes.com:

    Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

    A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

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    Senior Member Chani_Fremen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Quote Originally Posted by blondhottie
    From www.jokes.com:

    Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

    A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
    LMAO!!!!!

    The City Zoo's gorilla escaped. A man discovered the gorilla in a tree in the yard of his house, so he called the zoo to tell them where the gorilla was. Very promptly, a zoo official drove to the house with a ladder, a rake, a chihuahua, a large net, and a gun. The zoo official explained to the man how he wanted to capture the gorilla, "Ok, now I want you to climb up the tree in this ladder, use the rake to push the gorilla out of the tree. Once the gorilla is out of the tree, the chihuahua will be released and bite the gorilla's uhhh private areas, then I will capture the gorilla in the net."

    The man asked: "Well, what is the gun for?"

    The Zoo official responded: "In case the chihuahua comes after me instead of the gorilla, blast the dang dog!"
    ~*~ I must not fear. ~*~
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    ~*~ Only I will remain. ~*~

  18. #18
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    what do you call a blonde with two braincells??

    pregnant.

    haha... love the blonde jokes (even though i have a whole slew of blonde hair)

  19. #19
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    heheheheheheh cmon cmon fess up!!!!

    how many of ya did i get??

    I got at least 75-100 with the fake lotto tickets,this surely topped that!

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    Default Re: Whats Your Favorite Joke ??

    Four catholic ladies are having coffee togather. The first one tells her friends, my son is a Priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father. the second woman chirps"my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room,people call him "Your Grace".The third woman says smugly,my son is a Cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room,people call him "Your Eminence'.The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle"well...? She replies"my son is a gorgeous 6'2 hard bodied stripper....whenever he walks into a room, people say "My God..."

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