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Thread: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

  1. #1
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    Default Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    I've done quite a bit of searching online but have not found any useful information, so I figured I'd try a post here.

    My girl experiences pain with sex. Sometimes it is during, always after. We have tried numerous lubes to ensure it's not friction or a reaction to the lube. Doctor appointments show nothing wrong, everything is functioning normally. We both have a clean bill of health.

    Let's say I'm well endowed, but I'm not huge... and I'm always gentle with her but that does not change anything.

    I'm at wits end because she associates pain with sex, and boy do I get frustrated...

    Any thoughts on this matter? I'm grasping at this point for any possibilities.

  2. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Maybe she's not turned on?

    Try a different position?

    I don't know....need more information about the type of pain.

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Sometimes it's like she's raw, other times it is like muscle type pains. She is turned on and has her own moisture going...

    Numerous positions do not alleviate the issue either.

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Dude, bad luck. She may be too narrow and you too wide. Or, she has issues from childhood. Ahem.

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Nothing from childhood.

    She is a petite girl... this sucks...

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    I've rarely met a penis I couldn't best. But, a couple of them are out there. Just be happy she's not allergic to your semen. Give it another shot (more foreplay etc.) or part ways.

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Funny you mention alergic to my semen... in the past there were a few times she became swollen. Sound familiar?

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    BTW, if anyone happens to have ideas and/or wants to chat directly you can contact me via AIM or Yahoo IM (verses within this post), RockcrawlingTJ is the screen name for both.

    Regards...

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Perhaps you should get her a vibrator. Might help stimulate and get those juices flowing. BTW..do you use condoms when you have sex? If so, might be a latex allergy. Also, after I had my baby, I couldnt have sex with condoms because the latex rubbed me the wrong way inside, so much so that it hurt.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Yep, I say a toy as well, something to stimulated the clitoris whiile you are in, it will take her sensitivity away from the pain and center it on the pleasure the toy gives her... This works in many positions as well.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    wow must be tough?
    I did hear of something where muscle spasms can happen while sex or after. Also heard botox injects help relax the muscle to let sexual experience be more enjoying.
    Sometimes if she is "dry" even the best lubes dont help and can often irratate. I suggest seeing a gyno for that she might need some more hormones in her body to make her produce a more natural wetness.
    Or she could have some cysts??? Sounds like she needs a good check out with not only a gyno but a sex therapist as well just to check all areas.
    Good Luck hope it gets better!
    Just some things Ive heard around town
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    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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    Senior Member Schea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    I knew a girl that complained of similar pain. The doctor gave her 3 different sized dildos, nothing special just white plastic, and before her and her husband would have sex they would start with the smallest one then the next, then the next until the pain was lessened. I remember he saying how much it would hurt during and after if they didn't go through the whole process

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    Member Paris_01's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Secondary vaginismus???

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    Veteran Member Emiliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    there is a condition called endometriosis..it cause the vaginal walls to contract during sex or something like that...makes sex hurt really bad have your girl go to a ob gyn asap...it could also be std have yall been tested?
    Emiliana



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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    I'm talking about a clitoris stimulator, not a dildo... I had trouble when I was younger and had pain, nothing as severe as what he's describing, but bad enough and the vibrator def. helped... anything that is kept outside the vagina tha vibrates really worked for me.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    As mentioned she has had tests run and has been extensively checked out and all is well in that region, no STD's, we have a clean bill of health, etc.

    I will check more into the toys, internal and external. She is rather young and I am her first so who knows what it could be.

    We have discussed this with the family physician but nothing too in-depth as of yet. Our next visit will be more involved as we have tried different things.

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Well THATS why it hurts! Ass, dont you know that when girls first have sex a majority of them feel like they have a mac truck run through them?! Geez..it also could be latex if you use condoms, as I said, specially if she is a first timer. She is just not used to something pumping in and out of her. Give her TIME, and for GOD's SAKES be GENTLE.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    I have endometriosis.....For a while, It was extremely painful for me to have sex. Does she have pain during periods? When she's peeing? Lower back pains? These are all signs of endometriosis. Does she have pains while she's taking bowel movements? I know all of this is probably nasty to you or you probably don't want to ask. But if she's having all of those symptoms or more, She should be checked out by a doctor.

    If she does, A doctor can help sex be less painful, and then eventually she'll feel no pain at all. I've had no pain anymore.

    http://www.endometriosis.org
    Last edited by RoseDelight; 01-08-2005 at 09:38 PM.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Guess I forgot to mention we have been together for 2.5 years... so it's been quite some time for her to get used to it. Also, does not change with or without condom use.

    She does not have the symptoms for endometriosis, however it is something we will be sure to ask about during our next visit.

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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    Good luck


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Featured Member Veronika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance has pain during/after sex...

    This is a little out there but a friend had the *exact* same symptoms and it was trich which Docs usually don't test for unless you ask. Was she your first too? Once a girl starts experiencing pain (for whatever reason) she can start tensing and you get into this loop where she expects to hurt and then tenses up thus making it hurt.

    Good luck. You might even want to try a new Gyno if the family phys. can't figure it out.
    ~V~
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    under the name of Veronica! I am a 2007 calendar girl for MCR, so message me if you want a calendar!

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