Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: hiding job from mom...

  1. #1
    Newbie engel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    the boonies, MN
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default hiding job from mom...

    i'm sorry if this has been posted here before, but im having a bit of a dilemma here...

    i'm 19 years old and recently moved back in with my mom and her husband to pursue a full-time college schedule. things with my roommate were just getting way too crazy, and i felt like i needed a change. i was working 2 jobs, one in a factory (which paid shit) and one part time at a club...i only did that for a couple of shifts because moving made the drive a lot longer, and i didn't know if it would work out with school, etc.

    well, ive been looking around EVERYWHERE for little odd jobs near my new home and can't find anything, yesterday i did get hired by a telemarketing company, not really my thing at all, and im dreading going in.

    long story short, i want to go back to dancing but am worried about my mother finding out. on one hand, i don't really care, because i am over 18 and have to foot all the bills for college, car payment/car insurance for myself (mom isn't chipping in at all) and it would be a lot easier with a dancing job.

    when she found out my best friend worked at a club she freaked, and that was just my friend, not her own daughter...

    i could lie, tell her i got a job at a warhouse or something (to explain the late hours)

    do you think i care too much about what she thinks? should i just do it? lie? maybe tell the truth if she asks? im lost on this one....

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    101
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    your situation sounds stressful, I'm sorry to here that. do you have a close friend you could tell, like that friend who your mom found out about? someone who knows your mom enough to see if she would freak?

    I had to hide my job from my mom when I came home for winter break and decided to dance in my home city. I don't know how it might go but I have a feeling your mom would freak out. A, you're 19. B, you're living under her roof even if you have all these bills. C, she freaked out about a girl who's not even a relative. Whatever you do, you don't want to get kicked out of the house.

    But nothing will make you feel worse than lying to your mom. Do you have to tell her you decided against the telemarketing job? And won't she also assume that as a full time student you need to go to the library and study?

  3. #3
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Currently, I'm living at home and dancing. It sucks! Arg! I've told her I work in a gentleman's club as a waitress. So a couple months after that she askes me "it isn't one of those topless places, is it?" Me: "Yes, yes it is, mom." [ha! it's nude! totally pulled one over on her! ] She thought that was neat, so, oh well. Now as long as she doesn't stumble upon the costumes I have to drip-dry, I'm good for the next few weeks until I'm gone again.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Wow you sound as stressed as me!!! I have some moderate bills to pay but all in all I hate working for min. wage . I also live with the mom. Its hard when you want to do everything and it feels like theres someone else telling you its "wrong" and having to lie to them on top of it. Mom accidentally found out and guess what?? She totally flipped out on me. I want money and I dont want to rely on her for and "allowance". Im an adult just like you are as well.

    My suggestion is try to find a club that lets you work when you want to. Keep your shoes and dance clothes in the trunk. And if they ask try to tell them you waitress or do 24 phone orders for some company (depending on what shift you work). This way somehow you can get ahold of your bills and make them work. And maybe later on you can move back out just to avoid further conflict.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  5. #5
    Newbie engel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    the boonies, MN
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    thanks for the replies!

    you're right, i am still under her roof, and would feel horrible about lying to her, but the way my money situation is (the lack thereof) i think a few little white lies might have to be told...

    it's gotten to the point where ive had to borrow money from her to pay bills, she's really not happy about that...

    i don't know. after i get over this flu that i have, i think im gonna dig out the ol' shoes again

    i just have to ask myself what is more important, being financially independent or (if she does find out) her opinion of what im doing. i have so many feelings towards her that ive been stewing over since i moved back, it's only been a couple weeks and im going crazy. i keep telling myself i did this to better my situation, but now im not sure.

    i guess its the whole 'shame' thing that all girls are taught to feel that kinda gets at me too. i know for a fact that she has never even been inside a club, and probably thinks its all about being a whore (which its not) but then again if i had a daughter, im not sure id want her dancing.

    AAAHHHH! this is frustrating.

  6. #6
    Banned MissTaylor's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Tell her your bartending. This will help to explain the large amounts of cash, the late nights and why you/your clothes smell like a bar!

  7. #7
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Just a small note...its really hard to choose between the 2. Thats horrible you have to borrow money from her..borrowing never made me feel good either.
    I know there is no shame in dancing just the thought of someone else shaming you..thats the scary part. If you stay focused maybe you wont have to stay a dancer for too long just so you can pay off some huge bills?

    Theres a few SW members that when thier families found out the parents didnt talk to them for months or years. I think parents eventually come back around and see that your trying to take care of yourself. Your just trying to be responsible and handle your business.
    I wish being a dancer wasnt percieved as such a "dirty" job....sigh
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  8. #8
    Newbie engel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    the boonies, MN
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    yeah, for me, theirs more shame in working my ass off for $8-10 whatever bucks an hour than their is dancing and making enough money to do what i have to do. i owe her money, and it does make me feel bad (even though its not an absolute nesessity that she has an extra $100, she's a nurse and makes good money). maybe you're right, i can just plan to dance until i've saved up however much i feel i need. but it's tricky, 'cause then you get used to having that much! i don't know...i just want to tell her "LOOK! im not giving bj's in an alley, im trying to go to college, dammit!"

    the waitressing thing is a good idea, i know she'd be like "oooh, tell me where, so i can come and see you at work" and i'd stand there like "uuuuh, uuuh, welll..."

  9. #9
    Senior Member Angelique84's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Alabama for now
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    I haven't started dancing yet (but will soon), but I told my mom that I had planned on working at a club after I moved out of her house and she said that no matter what I was her daughter and that she supported me 100% and it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Angelique84's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Alabama for now
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    I agree that the bartending is a good idea.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Hollywood
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    If you need to mke money to pay for school- and your mom won't help out with that- then you need to do what you need to do. I was fortunate enough that my parents paid for my school (The same I will do for my kids if I ever get married) but obviously school is very important and a job is a job.

  12. #12
    Veteran Member julzgulz's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    California
    Posts
    314
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 47 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Ask your mom what she would think of you waitressing at a strip club. Tell her you heard from someone that you can make good money doing it there, rather than a regular resturant. Then atleast she'll know where your going every night. If she doesn't like the idea then just say you got a job waitressing or bartending at a small bar.

  13. #13
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale
    Posts
    3,337
    Thanks
    4,235
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 1,451 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Well if you do decide to dance close to her house, how big is your town??? After about 1 year my mom found out I was dancing because someone saw me at the club and I lived in my own apartment and grew up in a good sized city, if you are going to tell her you bartend I'd make sure it's somewhere she would never go ( I used to say I worked at this really big nightclub because she DID visit me when I worked at a fancy rest. ) It would suck if you lied to her and she found out anyway. Now I've been dancing 3 years and she has eventually learned to deal with it, only now I moved 1,200 miles away at school. She doesn't like it but she knows she can't pay my tuition, rent, ins., etc and as long as I do well n school she can't really complain.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

  14. #14
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Quote Originally Posted by MissTaylor
    Tell her your bartending. This will help to explain the large amounts of cash, the late nights and why you/your clothes smell like a bar!

    This won't work as this girl is under 21. Nothing with liqour would fly...

    You're better off not saying anything until asked...and then say that you are working in sales/telemarketing, etc. Those jobs have weird hours (depending on where you are calling)...and then maybe say that you are hitting the school study labs afterwards to have "peace and quiet" time for studying/writing reports/etc.

    It sucks to feel that you need to lie...but, sometimes, you have to do what you have to do. My mom didn't say much at all...she didn't like it, but she didn't try to stop me from doing it. Of course...I didn't start dancing until I was 28...and LONG gone out of her house. But, you know your mom best...and, if you only work weekends, or what not...she may never ask where you are getting your money from. Be wise...be spend-thrift...pay off those bills and never let anyone know how much you are really making.

  15. #15
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    How well were you doing moneywise dancing? What club did you work at.

    My feeling about this is that once you move out of the house you never move back home. If you had no mother and step father what would you do? Think hard about that one. Because you obviously don't have a mother who is able or willing to pay for your education car, insurance and spending money while you go to college, do you?

    Can you rent a room somewhere. Intown Suites are weekly efficiency apartments in the Twin cities with two locations and for $180-$200 a week total you can have a furnished modern place with a kitchen, full refrigerator and two burner stove. That is inexpensive enough isn't it?

    Can you take a lesser school schedule like 9-10 units and work 4-5 nights a week?

    If you put your mind to this and focus on being totally on your own, then you have solved your dilemma, right?

  16. #16
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    VG, depends on what part of the country, though, I can bartend at 19 in NY, but in VA I can't serve alcoholic drinks even as a waitress.
    [and I do not like being an under-21 dancer, what a pain!]
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    101
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    I don't know if you should say you're a waitress, because what if she wants to go to your restaurant? Unless you say it's a seedy little burger joint and you'd be embarassed if she saw you working there-- but that STILL might not work.

    I'm still not sure that you have to tell her anything if you're a full time student and she knows you're job hunting. Maybe studying, errands, getting registered for classes, job hunting, and socializing could be your alibies for the first few weeks. Luckily you have a car so you can leave your stuff in the trunk like someone else said. Make sure if the place sends out min. wage checks that you receive them before your mom sees them.

  18. #18
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    4,778
    Thanks
    154
    Thanked 280 Times in 146 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Quote Originally Posted by CrescentLuna
    VG, depends on what part of the country, though, I can bartend at 19 in NY, but in VA I can't serve alcoholic drinks even as a waitress.
    [and I do not like being an under-21 dancer, what a pain!]
    yep in florida you can serve but not drink (ha) at 18

  19. #19
    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Dayton, Ohio
    Posts
    2,563
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    could you say that you work in a business that people call in orders too? Like a catolog order place?

  20. #20
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    LOL I like that one ...who would want to visit you seeing you take catalog orders??
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  21. #21
    Senior Member DesireTime's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    The only reason I like the idea of bartending/waitressing as a cover is if you slip up in conversation and mention "tips" customers" and the like (not to mention stuff like coming home with the smell of cigarette smoke in your hair, working late hours, having cash on you, etc. ) it'll all be in keeping with those jobs.

    I'm not sure what Mn. law is but in Michigan you can cocktail and bartend at 18. Some of the women here have said they claim to work private parties or work at techno clubs and other places their parents or parents friends wouldn't be likely to want to/be able to go to.

    It's probably what I'd go with if it were me.
    And you hunger for the time,
    Time to heal, desire time.
    And your earth moves beneath
    your own dream landscape...

    U2, "A Sort of Homecoming"

  22. #22
    Newbie engel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    the boonies, MN
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    thanks for all the advice

    i've been thinking about it lots and if she asks, im just going to tell her i got a job waitressing downtown, if she asks where maybe i'll just make up a name, since driving downtown scares the crap out of her i think thats a safe bet (in MN you can serve liquor if over 18.screw it. if im the one paying for it, i get to decide how to make the money.

  23. #23
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet
    yep in florida you can serve but not drink (ha) at 18
    You're kidding!! I thought that ALL states had made 21 the mandatory age to consume, serve, and buy liqour...

    Well, if you can get away with saying that you are a bartender...then do it. Especially if your mom stays away from bars.

  24. #24
    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In the South
    Posts
    855
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 134 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    my parents found and started to circle the parking lot. She drove around like a bat out of hell, and this was during the day. She never stepped inside though. I also wasn't living with her. She thought I was an escort at first not a stripper, where the f is she getting her information? She called me eva, which is not even my dancer name and never has been. She called my job and asked if I worked there & ofcourse the dumb door girl said yes!! grrr!

  25. #25
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: hiding job from mom...

    Oh wow, old thread! I was reading this and came across TigerMilk's entry. I was like, "WTF! Since when does she live with her mom again?!" Lol.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. House mom job wanted
    By mariam in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-08-2010, 02:37 PM
  2. My mom hates my job
    By jessica_rabbit in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-27-2008, 01:12 PM
  3. looking for job as house mom in ky/oh
    By racersgurl in forum Other Work
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-24-2004, 03:29 AM
  4. looking for house mom job in ky/oh
    By racersgurl in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-24-2004, 03:28 AM
  5. Hiding job from roomates
    By in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-17-2003, 08:02 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •