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Thread: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

  1. #1
    kymchoon
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    Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    The 'hard-on' thread earlier apparently got a little...heated. I came in at the aftermath of the modding/deleting/editing after emotions cooled down, but it ended up raising an interesting question.

    What would you really prefer in a lap dance, an erotic experience or a sexual one?

    Some guys clearly want a more sexual experience. They're there to imagine that they're getting laid (or in some cases they're actually looking to get off). On the other hand, some want more of erotic experience. They want to become aroused without it being directly sexual.

    This isn't so much about the whole 'extras' debate, although it definitely relates (and I'm sure it will be discussed), so much as it is the general style of dance that you're looking for.

    Men, what are you looking for in an 'ideal' lap dance, what's your motivation for the experience?

    Ladies, what would you say that the average customer wants? Are you seeing any changing trends and (possibly a redundant question) what would you rather perform?

    (I have learnt not to assume answers. That last I would consider obvious, but then I thought abut it. Not only does it take more effort to give a good 'erotic' style dance, as it requires a lot more responsiveness to subtle customer cues, but it is of necessity more intimate - which may be an issue for some.)

    While I originally tried to word this question neutrally, I think my attitude comes off - I'm solidly in the 'erotic' group. I don't become sexually aroused when getting dances. This not most definitely not mean that I don't get excited and aroused. But hardcore grinding would make me finish up that dance and then go find somebody else. This is not to say that I want a dancer to stay right away from that area, necessarily. A bit of contact can be a good thing, as long as it is not the objective.

    Basically the difference between e.g. sitting on my lap, leaning your whole body against me and writhing slightly (kinda the 'sexual snuggling' thing) and plonking your butt on my groin and thrashing around. It also relates to the approach for a dance as well - if I haven't seen something in your personality that I find attractive, then I'm not going to bother, regardless of how you look. (NB: this isn't directed at the dancers, but using neutral pronouns was getting irritating)

    I suspect that there are a lot more guys who prefer this kind of thing than many dancers think, and I'd be interested in your opinions.

    I know there's at least a few people out there with strong opinions on this, but I'll let them express themselves, as opposed to doing it for them. So lay on, MacDuff!
    Last edited by kymchoon; 07-23-2009 at 04:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    The customers that keep coming back to me always mention how sensual I am and how being with me is like a "happy place".
    The ones that seem to want the sexual thing stay for , at the most, 2 songs and never come back.

    I think it depends on the general clientelle of each particular club - some clubs are more sexual, some (like mine) are more sensual.

    I think the tease should be put back into striptease, but that's just my opinion. There is nothing more beautiful than your imagination, why spoil it with an $80 blow job?

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    I'm a lot more sensual. But I find that it's mostly the sexual gals get more ''hits'' at my club. I just don't feel that comfortable acting like I'm outright horny all the time. I come across at fake when that's the case. I can only pull it off if I'm tipsy and I don't want to be like that at work all the time.
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    Veteran Member SeppeSai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    The customers that keep coming back to me always mention how sensual I am and how being with me is like a "happy place".
    That's me and my ATF.
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  5. #5
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    I get comments from men often about my sensual classiness. I always wear gowns and treat customers politely and with kindness (unless, of course, they are complete asses). During my stage sets, I am very erotic and sensual. I close my eyes often and writhe around like I have drifted off to my own erotic world. I don't often see other women who dance like this. My lapdances are very similar, but with lots of eye contact. I think that things such as whispers or slight exhales in the customers ears, lots of eye contact with slight smiles, brushing your fingers through their hair, softly touching their shoulders/chest is MUCH more exciting then plopping down on their laps and mechanically grinding. IMO, when you are viewed as the sensual/erotic woman, you are more likely to be a customer's "fantasy."

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    Although i do contact dances at times. I don't jump on a guys lap and start grinding. I listen for him to ask me to go harder or softer, and i do. BUT...i wont go fast, that looks crazy to me. Also i don't look like i am getting off, and i don't get off, takes more than a stranger or regular to get me off. Even though i may know him, it's not the same when it's love, it's only about the money.

    I like the sensual look, and the sensual feel of giving a ld. But again, i can go both ways to please a customer if club permits.

    Pamela

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    You missed a category. My favorite type of dance is neither sexual nor erotic (although both can be fun if done well) - I prefer playful and cuddly. I'd rather do things like hugging, backrubs or footrubs than anything else. I love it when a girl I know well and like a lot cuddles up on my lap and we just talk and flirt a bit. But I'm probably not typical.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    If I like a dancer, I'll go with whatever works for her. On my Top Ten list, #1 and #2 are playful/cuddly, #3-9 are sexual, and #10 is erotic. I live in a high-contact metro market, and good erotic dancers are hard to find.
    Last edited by SportsWriter2; 01-13-2005 at 03:07 PM.

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    If I like a dancer, I'll go with whatever works for her. On my Top Ten list, #1 and #2 are playful/cuddly, #3-9 are sexual, and #10 is erotic. I live in a high-contact metro market, and good erotic dancers are hard to find.
    Following up on SW's comment, I think that any style of dance (playful; erotic; sexual) can be done either well or poorly. I think that a good dance of any style can be quite pleasing, and I am happy with any of the three. What is most important is that it is done well. Also, IMHO, variety is the spice of life. Sometimes I am really in mood for a good, erotic dance--other times something playful is much more fun, or something overtly sexual--it all depends on the mood and the dancer.

    What makes a dance seem "good" to me? Well, one key thing is whether the dancer seems believable in whatever she is doing. It's all acting and a fantasy--but I prefer it to be a believable fantasy. Dancers who go "over the top" trying to appear turned-on (e.g., faking orgasms during a dance) don't do it for me.
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer
    I get comments from men often about my sensual classiness. I always wear gowns and treat customers politely and with kindness (unless, of course, they are complete asses). During my stage sets, I am very erotic and sensual. I close my eyes often and writhe around like I have drifted off to my own erotic world. I don't often see other women who dance like this. My lapdances are very similar, but with lots of eye contact. I think that things such as whispers or slight exhales in the customers ears, lots of eye contact with slight smiles, brushing your fingers through their hair, softly touching their shoulders/chest is MUCH more exciting then plopping down on their laps and mechanically grinding. IMO, when you are viewed as the sensual/erotic woman, you are more likely to be a customer's "fantasy."
    I like it this way buya!

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    An observant and formidably intelligent friend of mine refers to it as "industrial sex". Most VIP rooms I have seen are the last place I would choose to get crazy...
    Agreed in full. <S> DJoser

    If I like a dancer, I'll go with whatever works for her. On my Top Ten list, #1 and #2 are playful/cuddly, #3-9 are sexual, and #10 is erotic. I live in a high-contact metro market, and good erotic dancers are hard to find.
    Given that I frequent the same SC market as SW2, I completely agree here as well.

    That's my second rule for guaranteed pleasure in an SC: follow the dancer's lead.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    Though I like a good grind, and it's possible to be both sexual AND erotic, my preference is for erotic. All of my favs and my ATF where/are less hands on and more erotic. True eroticism comes from the brain-the bodies most powerful sex organ. My retired ATF almost never took her gown off for the last 3 months that she danced for me. The girls who I like that are purely sexual are not the ones visit most often. The best "sensual" dancer that I'm currently a regular with actualy dances in a minimal one way contact club.
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    Quote Originally Posted by kymchoon
    On the other hand, some want more of erotic experience. They want to become aroused without it being directly sexual.
    Thats it!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Veteran Member bigteninch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Erotic vs Sexual - what are you looking for?

    lately dances have been getting more unusual, with everything from them lifting my shirt and biting my nipples , licking my ear, being kissed, kissed with tongue, blowing in my ear (that's cool), dancer taking my hand and placing it on her breast, and even some more extreme stuff. (for which I offer no complaints!)

    The ideal? for me, it would be getting laid. I am in it for the sex. More realistically in a club setting, it would be more like a date, with her being on the frisky side, but still giving a believable performance, and tons of touching, treats for the senses (orfactory), great hair, and lots of Oxytosin for her!

    yeah, that's it...

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