I'm not sure if anyone reads Savage Love, so I'd thought I'd share a short letter:
Have you heard about "the Pirate"? This is when you're getting a blow job from a girl and when you're about to come you ejaculate in her eye. Then you kick her in the shin. The result is the woman squinting her eye and hopping up and down on one foot, holding her leg and screaming "ARRRGH!" How many people are into this?
Jack Off Wangs
The Pirate. A Hot Karl. Donkey Punching. The Dirty Sanchez. Icy Mikes.
Not a day goes by that I don't get at least one question about a sex act that exists only in the imaginations of adolescent boys. I assure you, JOW, that no one has ever attempted the Pirate, just as no one has ever performed a Hot Karl, delivered a Donkey Punch or inserted an Icy Mike. They're all fictions. To demonstrate how easily a disgusting, fictitious sex act can be invented and disseminated, I've made one up myself: "The Louisville Plugger." It's too disgusting to describe even here. If anyone out there would like to know what the Louisville Plugger involves, send an e-mail to [email protected]. I will e-mail you a description – hell, I'll send you a diagram. Then we can all sit back and see how long it takes for the Louisville Plugger to start coming up in conversations in gay bars, frat houses and letters to sex-advice columnists.



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