Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 39

Thread: My man sucks!

  1. #1
    goldengrl69
    Guest

    Default My man sucks!

    I am not in a good mood right now at all! Im dating (he considers me his girlfriend) a 43 year old man, Im 25.The problem is he doesnt do anything for me.He has a job making about 45k a year and has a Harley (25k) and has a house (mortgage is probably 1200). For X-mas he didnt get me anything!We only eat at fastfood places or we go bowling He never gets me anything!I have friends that have men paying for rent , cellphones, bills etc..... We've been talking since Sept. and I feel like I always wanna break up with him and then he'll say something sweet like "you know I save all of your phone messages so I can hear your voice whenever I want to". He calls me constantly like 4-5 x a day. He's also the greatest to look at either.He's bald on top of his head a little chubby in the belly and skinny on the legs We're and odd match.He's always refering to my mom when he talks to me as "mom in law" even though he's only 2 years younger than her.Through all of this I still like/love him. I just feel like Im being used by him (sex) and I know that as pretty as I am that I could have any man that I wanted .

  2. #2
    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Honolulu, HI
    Posts
    231
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Sounds like he doesnt want to spend any money on you at all.

    Are you sexually involved with him? Besides bowling, what else do you do when you go out on a date?

  3. #3
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    You've been 'dating' since Sept and he calls your mother "Mom" ?

    Not to sound mean......

    But he only makes 45k a year, What do you really expect?

    Yeah, It sounds like you're being used though.

    I say steal the harley!


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    3,474
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Well, with a 1200 mortgage and a 25k Harley on 45k a year, no wonder he doesn't want to spend money on you



  5. #5
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    NY Capital District
    Posts
    3,775
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked 1,943 Times in 696 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    OMG! Why are you in a relationship if you're not getting presents!?

    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  6. #6
    Member tinkerbelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    What do you expect us to say to you honey,I don't quite know what you want us to do?Dump him?He's a bum and you're miserable,There's other fish in the sea?

  7. #7
    goldengrl69
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    yea we are sexually involved. We have sex about 1 or 2 x a week , which sucks cuz I want it more times and he cant get it up more than 1x a night

  8. #8
    goldengrl69
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    LOL RoseDelight you are sooooo funny , ha ha "steal the harley"

  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Renaissance City
    Posts
    3,343
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    And you live in Los Angeles? Rent some roller blades at the beach and you can do better than that.

  10. #10
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    If he can't get it up, What's the point?

    You can only poke at it for so long.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  11. #11
    goldengrl69
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    I just wanna know if Im being unreasonable.I know a lot of people that have men doing all kinds of things for them and mine doesnt do squat! He owns the Harley and only has mortgage and house bills to pay.I like him but wonder if he's using me. He spends hundreds on that bike but none on me (he just bought wheels for it that were 5k) .So I know he has the money.He always acts loving and sweet towards me. I just dont want to end the relationship if its just me acting childish since there are not a lot of loving men in my neck of the woods.

  12. #12
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    If you care about him, Talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't know what to buy you....

    If something is important to you, It should be discussed. See how he feels.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  13. #13
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    1,295
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Yea, I agree..talk to him first, then step back and take a look at the situation. Do you have children? Want children someday? It is a pretty big age gap to me, but thats just my two cents. Do what you feel!

  14. #14
    Member Casey-11's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Long Island
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    It doesnt sound like much of a decision, goldengrl.

    1- Its not love. If it were, you wouldnt have labeled it as "like/love"--the two are worlds apart.
    2- $45,000/year hasnt been good pay since the early 1960's, so my guess is, as a dancer, that you probably out-earn him, or if you dont, probably could ...even from a wheelchair.
    3- although presents are not a basis for a relationship, nor lack of them a deal breaker, there is a decisive lack of consideration not to observe the custom of gift giving on Christmas or occasions like that, unless it was discussed before hand and mutually agreed upon. It should NOT have been a surprise.
    4- calling you 4 or 5 times a day is obcessive and indicates a sever lack of self esteem and self confidence on his part, as well as a propensity to control and manipulate.
    5- If telling you that he saves your voicemails so he can hear your voice whenever he wants (on top of calling you 5 times a day) is among the sweetest things he can say to you, well, lets just say you are exceptionally easy to please (not to mention manipulate).
    6- And if it is really true, its still a red flag since it indicates a very needy individual who is unable to stand on his own, at best.
    7- There is nothing wrong with a May-December romance. In many ways they are extra special. Usually the older man is mature, educated, and worldly, has a stable lifestyle and finances, has already sewn his wild oats, and is usually more refined and considerate and appreciative of his younger girlfriend. A yound girl may find in him a mentor, a protector, a guide, as well as a partner, and may find a man like that very desireable for those reasons and others. But it seems like you have none of those benefits and only the negative aspects.
    8- follow your heart
    9- follow your instincts
    10- use common sense.

    Like I said, it sounds like an easy decision, based on what you have told us.

    Good luck.

  15. #15
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Well, he pays 14,400 per year in mortgage. He probably pays lots more in real estate taxes (could be well over 4000). I bet he clears only a few hundred a month and at 45 years he should be putting a few thousand/year in a retirement fund. If you make more than he does, I don't see how you could expect too much more.

    I dont know what to say about the sex frequency, except that I'll bet he could get you off a lot more than he can himself get off.

    I don't see how he's using you for sex since you seem to want even more of it from him (or someone). I think maybe you want him as a device for extra income and you aren't getting it. To me really it depends on how much you two care for each other, honestly. Well, at least I hope you know what you want now.

    Whatever you do about it, I hope you do it honorably. I hope for the best for you.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  16. #16
    Senior Member janazoo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    ct
    Posts
    112
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    45k is not much at all especially living in LA I'm in New england and I don't think I would date a man who made 45k or 50k, just not enough, i'm not a golddigger but i'm not going to support my man either. there are good men who make much more money than that and you would be happier. I would never date a man who did not make more than me.

    Sounds like you are frustrated with everything. I would be. The sex life will not get any better unless he feels as though he should perform better.

    He is taking his harley out to dinner, movies, vacations, trips up and down the coast, buying christmas, birthday presents and new years eve celebrations, and this should be you!!!!

    dump him, he apparently is not there for you. What would happen if you really needed him. Would he be there to foot the bill?

    My SO, when I first met him we were going on our second date together and I got in an auto accident (some one ran into me from behind) I called him to tell him I would be late for dinner (he was taking me out) and he was very concerned and drove out to the accident and got there before the police and made sure that I was ok and that my car was good enough to drive.

    I was impressed!!!!!

    Our third date he bought me flowers and a lap top stand (he ordered it for me a week prior when he was flying for bussinness) for my apt. He never saw me without a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

    things like this showed me he cared and that he was not selfish and that I could trust that he would be there.

    I made him prove himself to me before we officially became a couple on the scene.

    If a man does not HAVE to prove himself you may never see the best side of him. You have to help him bring this side out - he may be unaware of his best side.

    Dump this guy and see how fast he comes running after you, but don't take him back unless he treats you the a woman loves to be treated.

    There is no reason to hate this guy just tell him you need more than what he has to offer in a relationship. Your not happy or satisfied. Give and take goes both ways in a relationship and you feel your not getting you fair share. Simple...

    My boyfriend did pay my last 2 months rent in my apt before I moved in with him so YES you are missing out. And it is your fault.

    End of Sermon

  17. #17
    Senior Member janazoo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    ct
    Posts
    112
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Casey-11
    It doesnt sound like much of a decision, goldengrl.

    1- Its not love. If it were, you wouldnt have labeled it as "like/love"--the two are worlds apart.
    2- $45,000/year hasnt been good pay since the early 1960's, so my guess is, as a dancer, that you probably out-earn him, or if you dont, probably could ...even from a wheelchair.
    3- although presents are not a basis for a relationship, nor lack of them a deal breaker, there is a decisive lack of consideration not to observe the custom of gift giving on Christmas or occasions like that, unless it was discussed before hand and mutually agreed upon. It should NOT have been a surprise.
    4- calling you 4 or 5 times a day is obcessive and indicates a sever lack of self esteem and self confidence on his part, as well as a propensity to control and manipulate.
    5- If telling you that he saves your voicemails so he can hear your voice whenever he wants (on top of calling you 5 times a day) is among the sweetest things he can say to you, well, lets just say you are exceptionally easy to please (not to mention manipulate).
    6- And if it is really true, its still a red flag since it indicates a very needy individual who is unable to stand on his own, at best.
    7- There is nothing wrong with a May-December romance. In many ways they are extra special. Usually the older man is mature, educated, and worldly, has a stable lifestyle and finances, has already sewn his wild oats, and is usually more refined and considerate and appreciative of his younger girlfriend. A yound girl may find in him a mentor, a protector, a guide, as well as a partner, and may find a man like that very desireable for those reasons and others. But it seems like you have none of those benefits and only the negative aspects.
    8- follow your heart
    9- follow your instincts
    10- use common sense.

    Like I said, it sounds like an easy decision, based on what you have told us.

    Good luck.

    I totally agree. Words of wisdom I hope you take them to heart and find some one you connect with, young or old, makes not difference.

  18. #18
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    You said you have gf's who have their bills paid. Is that what you are looking for? I mean the age, he's bald, he can't have sex often enough, does not make near enough money a year, etc. This man WONT pay you're bills. He want's a gf. Not to be a persons bank.

    He probably worked very hard to get what he has. Why are you with him if nothing seems to be working for you? Just break up. Let him find a woman who will want him for what he is, and you can find a rich older man to pay you're bills if that is what you want.

    Pamela

  19. #19
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Quote Originally Posted by goldengrl69
    yea we are sexually involved. We have sex about 1 or 2 x a week , which sucks cuz I want it more times and he cant get it up more than 1x a night
    And you said in you're first message you feel like you are being used for sex? Ok.

    Pamela

  20. #20
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    all around the world
    Posts
    2,939
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Is this serious? B/c it all just sounds so bad that it has to be made up :-/

  21. #21
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Sorry to say this, but it sounds like YOU are the one with the problem...you are dating an older man who you were hoping would pay your bills and buy you lots of expensive presents. This guy is obviously not in any position to do that (or has no desire to do it) and so you are pissed.

    It's not a good way to have a relationship...you're both using each other...you are using him for money...which you are not getting...and he is using you as arm candy. Just leave.

  22. #22
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    This is some awesome advice (most of which Ill keep in mind for myself when the time comes )

    But, in all seriousness I feel bad for both of you. He wants a GF and you want someone who can show you he wants you by ways of gifts. You know your an awesome person so dont waste your time in a relationship you probably dont want to be in. Trust me.....being alone and happy rather than being with someone and miserable will have you much happier in the end. I did something similar to that in Sept....I just wasnt happy and I just ended it. I knew he was kind of sad and so was I that it was over (I hate dumping guys...its so emotionally taxing ) but Im much happier being where I am now; single and happy.
    Besides, you both want different things and if thats the case things will not work out anyways. Sorry to be blunt but...I know sometimes relationships sucks (when your with the wrong person). I say dump him and go to work carefreee make some cash. Money always makes me feel better
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  23. #23
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    101
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    he's probably using you if you're half his age, attractive, and if he's knows you're a stripper. that's the typical formula for the older guys who want a young trophy. it sounds you're only upset that you aren't using him back because he's too broke to pay for his trophy. otherwise maybe he just wants something real, something other than sex and money.

    my $.02

  24. #24
    Senior Member janazoo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    ct
    Posts
    112
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    from what I have read in the last few posts recieving gifts from a man or having a man help you out financially is not acceptable in a relationship. From what i took from the orginal post I did not think at all that she was looking for a man to be "a persons bank". She is looking for a a normal relationship where some one will be there for her and being there financialy is very important part for any relationship.

    People in relationships are there for each other. They go out to dinner, movies, vacations ets. There is nothing wrong with every girl wanting this type of a relationship. It creates a lasting bond. Being together knowing each other si what a realtionship is.
    I love giving gifts. I love recieving gifts. I'm sure every one does.

    Relationships are sharing and giving and for being happy.

    If the sex is bad and he cannot get it up as often as liked then he should make her come even when he does notcome himself. It can be a turn on for him with out him coming. a lot of men come better if they does not do it every day. every one should be satisfied sexually. If two people cannot make it work then leave.

    Is there a woman on this board who is not happy when her bf/SO/husband gives her gifts?

    Is there a woman on this board who does not like giving gifts to her bf/SO/husband?

  25. #25
    goldengrl69
    Guest

    Default Re: My man sucks!

    Jannazoo..........you hit it right on the nail.Im not looking for him to be my bank. I just think (and was raised to believe) that a man (especially an older more mature one) should know how to treat a woman.I dont care how much money(or how little ) he makes, its not hard to do something sweet ie buy me a x-mas gift or something to show me that he is thinking of me.For x mas I bought him a present and was so excited to give it to him.......but when I noticed that there was no intention of him getting me one , I decided that it would make my embarasment even worse.Now I realize I SHOULD of given him the gift to embarras him instead.I spoke to him last night and his excuse was that it "didnt feel like x-mas to him" WTF??iGNORANCE IS ONE THING BUT JUST BEING PLAIN INCONSIDERATE IS ANOTHER.


    lilroughevixen , no he doesnt know that Im a stripper , (just started) The reason Im upset is because Im used to being treated better and I dont like to be tooken advantage of by anyone.

    Tigersmilk your right about being happy and alone.

    Venusgoddess , Im not using him to buy me expesive gifts (I normally dont consider taking me to a nice restaurant, buying me a x mas gift or chocolate or flowers to show that he appreciates me) Hell I dont see whats the big deal with him paying a bill for me.Whats a hundred dollars? Ive known this man for 5 years (as a friend that I would talk to 1 or twice a year when I was married) I chose to date him for him (not his looks or cuz I expected him to come out the pockets cuz he's older) I just started to feel resentful (with his lack of consideration for me) and that if I was in his shoes (being fat and balding) I would try to keep my pretty young GF.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-16-2009, 03:28 PM
  2. Man, this sucks so bad
    By BrunetteGoddess in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 11-05-2007, 03:40 PM
  3. No, seriously though: She sucks.
    By Dottie Rebel in forum Body Business
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-24-2007, 01:04 PM
  4. Sucks to be you!!!
    By danni0316 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-12-2007, 01:36 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •