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Thread: Listening to RILs

  1. #1
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Listening to RILs

    My girlfriend is talking to this pathetic guy on the phone right now. She is pretty up-front about things with him--like she won't tell him she loves him, or that he's sexy, etc., like many other dancers would do. She has repeatedly asked him if he is sure he really wants to spend as much money as he is. In fact she is trying to slowly and gently educate him as to the stripclub scene.

    Right now, for instance, she is telling him if he licks another dancer's tits (which she won't let him do), he might as well go and french kiss the last dozen guys she danced for before him. I had to leave the room for a second to laugh out loud.

    This guy, and a few others like him, are so far out there, though.

    She held the phone up to my ear so I could hear some of what he was saying just now, and I had to run away again to keep from ruining the whole thing. He was describing the one time he had had sex in his life, sort of.

    OK, now she just told him he should get an escort.

    This may seem cruel, but while dealing with an especially boring and persistent conversationalist, she was giving me some of the best head ever--and she is really, really good. She would stop now and then and answer a question, or sey "yes", "uh-huh", etc.

    I would feel sorry for this guy except he is such a pervert in VIP, and so annoying in the frequency and duration of his calls. One time she was dancing for another customer and he came up into the VIP, interrupted the dance, and told her he wouldn't see her anymore, which promise he hasn't kept. She is earning every penny of the money he spends on her.

    Wow, this is cool, she just told him that dancers have lives of their own outside the club, and that guys shouldn't come into a club looking for dates.

    Now she is telling him that she has danced for a couple thousand guys. He is asking how she controls herself...

    She just told him it's about as stimulating as humping the arm of the couch, that it's not a sexual thing. He seems to be having trouble understanding.

    She's telling him he needs an escort again. He thinks she means a bodyguard...I had to run out of the room again.

    This is like a movie or something...
    Last edited by Djoser; 01-16-2005 at 09:34 PM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  2. #2
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Go on, go on, don't let anyone stop you... Play by play... This is amusing...

  3. #3
    kymchoon
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Mental note to self: Stop reading these forums at work, my boss just gave me a strange look when I started snort-laughing. (You know, you try to hold it in and can't, and you end up making this 'snnnurrrrkkkk' sound...)

    C'mon, guys like this don't really exist, right? Y'all are making them up.

  4. #4
    kymchoon
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Yeah, don't stop, this is comedy gold.

  5. #5
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Oh to have been a fly on the wall...

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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    This is like an SW version of Crank Yankers. Is he paying her to take his calls, or is he just threatening to commit suicide if she doesn't? If it's the latter, I'd just let him die.

    Cool ride, though, Djoser. I've never been blown by a dancer taking a call. They usually set the phone to ring once or beep, just so they can keep score.

  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    I only imagined stories like this happened. Don't get her busted by laughing in the background.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    This is like an SW version of Crank Yankers. Is he paying her to take his calls, or is he just threatening to commit suicide if she doesn't? If it's the latter, I'd just let him die.
    LMAO SW, Ok, now I'm imagining Djoser as a Crank Yanker puppet getting a blowjob while his SO talks to this PL on the phone. Don't guys get how pathetic they must sound droning on to a stripper over the phone for hours while all she ever says is "yes", "uh-huh", etc.
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

  9. #9
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by kymchoon

    C'mon, guys like this don't really exist, right? Y'all are making them up.
    Yes, they do, though guys as lame as this are rare.

    He wound up crying during that conversation because he thought she didn't love him back.

    He is this shrimpy 61 year old guy and is pretty much a virgin. My gf says he told her that one girlfriend he had after high school let him stick it in once, but he had to pull out immediately and came all over, LOL. I guess the first time my girlfriend danced for him he told her that "There are two things I've never done in this world. I've never had my dick sucked and I've never eaten no pussy."

    And even better, he has a shrine of her in his bedroom with huge, blown-up and laminated copies of a few xeroxed pictures she gave him, as well as one of her g-strings. Occupying a central position in this menagerie is a framed birthday card he bought himself and asked her to write something sexy in for him. He has a diary where he writes entries about each trip to the club.

    Every time he comes to see her, which is at least twice a week, he repeats the same, complete, detailed story of the night he first met her. On this memorable occasion, he got 10 dances from her, and was amazed to discover that it was 20$ per song, not for the entire session. To his credit, he did go get the money and return.

    He leaves these monolithic, rambling, lovestruck messages on her phone, which could be boiled down to 30 seconds, but are literally 15 minutes of him saying it's finally over, he thinks, but he'll see her next tuesday.

    He describes in great detail the ongoing state of his erection, and worries interminably whether it's hard enough, sometimes getting angry and slapping it, saying "Come on, motherfucker!" When she's onstage, he will sometimes achieve a mighty erection and will start gesturing to her from across the club, proudly pointing at it so she can see.

    He will describe his previous masturbatory sessions in detail, for which he uses Vaseline. She took pity on him and bought him lube, once, but he he told her he couldn't figure out how to use it--this is no joke.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  10. #10
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    omfg

  11. #11
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Oh dear, Dj.. LOL

    This is better than any TV show around. The public has spoken.. WE WANT MORE dammit!

  12. #12
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Sounds like he's a genuinely screwed up individual....not one of your typical jerkoffs that tries to get a bunch of "extras" and treats people like crap...........?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  13. #13
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Djoser, this is hilarious! Doesn't know how to use lube, WTF??? There is this customer who comes in the club to see me sometimes who is kind of like this customer who is obsessed with your girlfriend, but he is nowhere near as bad. Keep the stories coming!

    Maybe you should answer her phone sometime when he calls and see what he says, LOL.

  14. #14
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by kymchoon
    C'mon, guys like this don't really exist, right? Y'all are making them up.

    I'm afraid they do exist. Click below if you want to see some documentation of a real lulu in action.

    http://ihatestrippers.com/ihs/stripperphone.cfm

    Sounds like Djoser's GF found herself another "Don".
    Last edited by doc-catfish; 01-17-2005 at 10:32 AM.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  15. #15
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    O.....M.....G.....I would actually be kinda scared if I was your girlfriend.

    But, in a weird sorta way...I'm strangely interested in the rest of the story...

  16. #16
    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd......

    Is there ANYWAY we can listen in??????

    You're g/f IS charging this guy money for these phone conversations, right????

  17. #17
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    So I'm the only one who feels really bad for this guy? I thought I was clueless, but him...yikes!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    I have absolutely zero sympathy for this guy. He's blind not because he has to be, but because he just plain won't see more than two inches in front of his face. Sympathy is totally wasted on a guy like that.

  19. #19
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    O.....M.....G.....I would actually be kinda scared if I was your girlfriend.

    But, in a weird sorta way...I'm strangely interested in the rest of the story...
    Me too. But then I'm the type that stops and stares at car wrecks as well.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

  20. #20
    Member Casey-11's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    ...

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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    WOW!! That is really creepy. Dj, its funny you brougt this subject up, cuz my g/f is kinda dealing with the same thing as your g/f, but not to her extent. My g/f works only 1-2 days a week, same days and time each week. She says she has this regular that the minute he comes in, he follows her around the club...stage, dressing room, vip (not inside, but waits right outside). He constantly asks her out, her #, personal questions. He even asked her to go away with him...yeh, right. lol. Anyhow, last week, I went into the club about an hr before she gets off work. No one knew who i was, so we pretended to not know each other. As I sat there, I see this guy following her around the club. As she was ready to leave, he followed her out the club. Of course, me right behind him. As my g/f was ready to drive off, I saw the guy get in his car. I quickly pulled up behind her and let her get a head start, me blocking the exit onto the roadway. Not sure if he was gonna follow her, but wasn't gonna give him the chance. Thank goodness, she never gave him her number.

  22. #22
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1
    So I'm the only one who feels really bad for this guy? I thought I was clueless, but him...yikes!
    I feel bad for him. If he is 60 something, then he still has a lot of growing up to do. Dunno what is going on there.

  23. #23
    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    1. this is hilarious...if it wasn't totally illegal and wrong, I'd ask you to record the calls so we all can hear.

    2. Sounds like she should be charging him at least $5 per minute for these chats...this is way more emotionally draining for her than phone sex

    3. he should pay extra for the BJ call

    4. get her some mace ... this guy sounds VERY unstable and when she chooses to "move on" it won't be pretty.

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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    Quote Originally Posted by discretedancer
    4. get her some mace ... this guy sounds VERY unstable and when she chooses to "move on" it won't be pretty.
    I think she should change cell phone numbers and stop enabling his self-destructive behaviors ASAP. She can just say her BF found his number and started asking questions.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Listening to RILs

    This may seem cruel, but while dealing with an especially boring and persistent conversationalist, she was giving me some of the best head ever--and she is really, really good. She would stop now and then and answer a question, or sey "yes", "uh-huh", etc.
    DJoser, I have a new respect for you that I didn't have before I read this thread.

    <S> DJoser
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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