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Thread: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

  1. #1
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    LOL.. at my bar last night, I had the pleasure of having a customer who thought he was an Uber-Stud. He was about middle aged, needed to lose about 30 pounds, had some of his hair, just loved strippers, and had a definite proclivity for exposing his massive ego.

    Here is how some of the Conversation went (well, the gist - not word for word. I don’t have a photographic memory).

    Him: The best place to pick of women is not bars, man.
    Me: Oh really (wondering why he is telling me this in the first place)
    Him: No man, none of the women in bars really want to go home with you.
    Me: gee, I wonder why.
    Him: It’s just a game to them, lead us on then drop us, They are usually all married or divorced and bitter. I’ve found better.
    (editorial note - he was trying to disparage my place of work)
    Me: You did? Good for you. (he obviously doesn’t get low level sarcasm).
    Him: Yeah.. don’t laugh. Strip clubs
    Me: Like, no way
    Him: Yup, I always get anyone I want there.
    Me: Like, no way
    Him: Yup, you just have to know what do to, and they will be in your hands
    Me: Like, no way (yes, I said it three times and he didn’t pick up on it )
    Him: It’s not the money, you have to separate yourself from the pack for them.
    Me: Pray tell, how do you do that
    Him: Attitude my friend, attitude. You have to be in charge. Strippers love that.
    Me: Gosh, they do?
    Him: Yeah. You waltz in there like you own the place, show that you are a man who knows what he wants, and all you have to really do is pick who you want.
    Me: It’s that simple, huh.
    Him: Yes, even you could do it.
    Me; Gosh,. no way
    Him: yes you. You go in there, don’t be a wallflower or pussy and by the end of the night, you will have the ones you want.
    Me: What about the married one or the ones who have boyfriends?
    Him: Oh not many of them are married. What guy would want to be married to a stripper?
    Me: Ah gotcha. Makes sense (in your warped mind)
    At this point he pulls me aside and whispers like he is giving me a great secret -
    Him: Yeah, next time you go into one, act supremely confident, and by the end of the night, just ask. You will get one or more. It happens to me all the time.
    Me: Thanks for the advice. I find it hard to believe anyone believes your bullcrap.
    Him: Gasp!

    At this point the conversation went down hill, since I couldn’t take his crap anymore. It went from fun listening to his drivel to being annoyed with it. Suffice to say I made the rest of his time there uncomfortable.

    So... apparently all I have to do is ask and I can have sex with strippers. Who knew it was so simple?

    Ladies, the line forms to the right --------->



  2. #2
    Pamela
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Ha ha ha PJ! I love it. You actually listened to his BS. You're stronger then i am. I HATE for people to talk shit to me, especially strangers. But you got him. Maybe one night you will see his "work" at a strip club. Lol

    Oh.....Where do i sign again?

    Pamela

  3. #3
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Prester_John

    So... apparently all I have to do is ask and I can have sex with strippers. Who knew it was so simple?
    Yup, sometimes 6 or 7 a night! With no money down.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  4. #4
    God/dess tiamaria's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    I thought PJ stood for Peter Jennings,LOL,jk

  5. #5
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Poor, poor fat bastard.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

  6. #6
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Git in my belly!
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  7. #7
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Thought PJ stood for Purple Jeezus. Sorry Babes, the blizzard holds me in Chi-town.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    If you dress up in pink, and bark a lot, I'll boink you...

    Boink means sexual hug, right?


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  9. #9
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Well, I sure as sh*t don't want to have sex with you, but I'm glad to see you posting again.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    PJ, I think this post deserves a follow up.

    I suggest hitting a club with this guy and observe his "sure fire" techniques in person. You'll either have some excellent pointers for the raincoaters in training or one hell of a crash and burn story (complete with excuses on why he couldn't seal the deal) to share with everyone.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  11. #11
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    PJ, I think this post deserves a follow up.

    I suggest hitting a club with this guy and observe his "sure fire" techniques in person. You'll either have some excellent pointers for the raincoaters in training or one hell of a crash and burn story (complete with excuses on why he couldn't seal the deal) to share with everyone.
    Nah, he will go on about how his style was wrecked, the other guy said something stupid, or the other guy was looking at the woman stupid, or how the woman was intimidated by two guys or...

  12. #12
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    LOL, some people just love to make up stories and live in their own little fantasy world. PJ, it's funny how you were being sarcastic the entire time and he didn't even catch on.

  13. #13
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback
    Yup, sometimes 6 or 7 a night! With no money down.
    No money down, but the interest payments will kill ya!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    I would love to play a game of sexy poker with you PJ!!!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  15. #15
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    sounds like a dude who "hit on me" on AOL messenger the other night. He was just convinced he was god's gift and I'd leave my man for him.

  16. #16
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Sounds like he's been watching too many infomercials

    *beats all the other biatches back to jump to front of PJ's line*

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    well, now that you mention it...
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member curvygirl's Avatar
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    Sad Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Oh no, you mean he was just feeding me bullshit?? I thought he liked me. He seemed so confident and I thought we (sniff, sniff) ... I thought we ... connected. He seemed to hang on my every word and I thought it was sweet that he just wanted to talk and hang out. And I believed him when he said I didn't look like I should be stripping (sniff, sniffel, ).


    NOOOOOTTTT! What a dufus ... is it okay to say dufus here without sounding harsh

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    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    i would pay to see his face when you shot him down at the end..hehe .

    i'll get in line to have sex with you

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Well, P, here's your line, whatcha gonna do? He prob. boffing some babes, as we speak. By the time this thread is pushed to like pg. 13, he'll get back to us...


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Clearly, I've been doing it wrong all these years...thanks PJ.

    By the way, can I have some of your light work here? Just to keep the lines manageable?

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    ::tackles B and steals her place in line::

    Alrighty then! LOL

    Wait.. There was more to this story? I never got passed the title.

  23. #23
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?



    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    I would love to play a game of sexy poker with you PJ!!!
    POKER? Why.. I dont even KNOW Her!!!!!

  25. #25
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: So Who Wants To Have Sex With PJ?

    LOL.. its nice you guys see the humor the "wonderful" customer generated. As you may guess, I am a rather sarcastic bastard. I have also developed a healthy cynicism from my years of bartending. Usually the occasional lout, twit, would be "stud", and disagreeable barfly that I encounter don't occupy any of my thoughts once I leave work (work stays at work - its a great survival tool). However, this guy was so blatantly stupid and really condescending in his attitude that I felt the complusion to share with you fine folk.

    It's hilarious, yet sad at the same time. I dont know if he really believed it, or was trying to make himself look like a cool guy with all the answers, but I know that he nothing I could have done would have changed anything in him. Better to fend them off then try to argue with them.

    Oh, and I tested his theory last night. I went into the local Wal-Mart like I owned the place, showed my great confidence and take charge attitude I have, and started asking all the women shopping there if they would go home with me. The results were, um, less then positive . I guess it only works on you helpless Dancers.
    Last edited by Prester_John; 01-27-2005 at 10:42 AM.

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