LOL.. at my bar last night, I had the pleasure of having a customer who thought he was an Uber-Stud. He was about middle aged, needed to lose about 30 pounds, had some of his hair, just loved strippers, and had a definite proclivity for exposing his massive ego.
Here is how some of the Conversation went (well, the gist - not word for word. I don’t have a photographic memory).
Him: The best place to pick of women is not bars, man.
Me: Oh really (wondering why he is telling me this in the first place)
Him: No man, none of the women in bars really want to go home with you.
Me: gee, I wonder why.
Him: It’s just a game to them, lead us on then drop us, They are usually all married or divorced and bitter. I’ve found better.
(editorial note - he was trying to disparage my place of work)
Me: You did? Good for you. (he obviously doesn’t get low level sarcasm).
Him: Yeah.. don’t laugh. Strip clubs
Me: Like, no way
Him: Yup, I always get anyone I want there.
Me: Like, no way
Him: Yup, you just have to know what do to, and they will be in your hands
Me: Like, no way (yes, I said it three times and he didn’t pick up on it)
Him: It’s not the money, you have to separate yourself from the pack for them.
Me: Pray tell, how do you do that
Him: Attitude my friend, attitude. You have to be in charge. Strippers love that.
Me: Gosh, they do?
Him: Yeah. You waltz in there like you own the place, show that you are a man who knows what he wants, and all you have to really do is pick who you want.
Me: It’s that simple, huh.
Him: Yes, even you could do it.
Me; Gosh,. no way
Him: yes you. You go in there, don’t be a wallflower or pussy and by the end of the night, you will have the ones you want.
Me: What about the married one or the ones who have boyfriends?
Him: Oh not many of them are married. What guy would want to be married to a stripper?
Me: Ah gotcha. Makes sense (in your warped mind)
At this point he pulls me aside and whispers like he is giving me a great secret -
Him: Yeah, next time you go into one, act supremely confident, and by the end of the night, just ask. You will get one or more. It happens to me all the time.
Me: Thanks for the advice. I find it hard to believe anyone believes your bullcrap.
Him: Gasp!
At this point the conversation went down hill, since I couldn’t take his crap anymore. It went from fun listening to his drivel to being annoyed with it. Suffice to say I made the rest of his time there uncomfortable.
So... apparently all I have to do is ask and I can have sex with strippers. Who knew it was so simple?
Ladies, the line forms to the right --------->





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Oh no, you mean he was just feeding me bullshit?? I thought he liked me. He seemed so confident and I thought we (sniff, sniff) ...
I thought we ... connected. He seemed to hang on my every word and I thought it was sweet that he just wanted to talk and hang out. And I believed him when he said I didn't look like I should be stripping (sniff, sniffel,

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