This is something I struggle with from time to time, so I guessed that other dancers out there must deal with it too.
It has to do with the whole morality thing... and where your job fits into your belief system. I, for instance, consider myself to be a fairly open minded woman. I'm comfortable with my sexuality, I'm pro-choice, I like to sit back with a joint once and a while, and I truly admire my coworkers when I see an awesome pole trick or a great hustle. But there's a little part of me, (quite possibly due to my Catholic uprbringing or my short, but crazy experience as a Jehovah's Witness) that feels so dirty... so guilty for using my sex appeal and my body as a means of making quick money. I did quite well in school, but dropped out of college in my junior year to get married. Now, at 26, I've been a stripper for nearly 2 years, and I can't help but wonder if I'm a horrible, immoral person headed straight to hell. I don't look at other dancers and see them in a bad light. I know that we have to work damn hard for our money, both physically and mentally. I don't judge anyone I meet as a coworker or customer, but when it comes all back down to me... It's instant condemnation. Let's face it, there are a lot of people out there who believe we are some of the worst kind.
As a teenager, I was aware of my emerging sexuality, and completely uncomfortable with it. I would look at 'Playboy' magazines in awe...Those girls were so beautiful, showing off their nakedness. I used to pretend to pose fresh out of the shower at 17, imagining myself on the set of some exotic photo shoot. But I was painfully shy, and had yet to even kiss a boy in real life. Today, almost 10 years later, I have become quite skilled in my ability to seduce a man and empty his wallet. I've learned to be (mostly) comfortable in my body and embrace the curves I was given.
So I guess my question is this...can any of you girls out there relate to my rambling? Do you feel sexy and empowered on one hand, but a little sleazy and bottom of the barrel on another? Does society's view of strippers have a hold on you, or can you just brush it off as garbage? My dad, who knows of my job, recently saw some expose on tv about dancers and is now assuming I'm a prostitute and a cocaine addict because of some crap on HBO. How do you cope with crap like that? Or the customer who speaks down towards you, like 'why are you doing this sleazy job'?
Just some thoughts...


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