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Thread: Questions That Really Need Answers

  1. #1
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Questions That Really Need Answers

    Questions that really need answers...

    1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
    "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and
    drink whatever comes out?"

    2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
    there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta
    it's butt."

    3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
    freezer?

    4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
    there a song about him?

    5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
    lane?

    6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for
    the time, but don't point to their crotch when they
    ask where the bathroom is?

    7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
    undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
    all fours? They're both dogs!

    9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
    Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
    is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made
    from?

    12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
    come from morons?

    13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
    Little Star have the same tune?

    14. Stop singing and read on..........

    15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of
    Alphabet Soup?

    16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
    face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a
    car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once
    make it arrive faster?

    18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
    bottle?

  2. #2
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    *sings Twinkle Twinkle little star*.......I wonder why that glass just broke.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  3. #3
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
    lane? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<LOL


    10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? <<<<<<<<< Testical!!!, LOL


    12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
    come from morons? <<<<<<<<<< Sorry for the political poo, but in George Bush's case it's true!

  4. #4
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
    Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?


    i have pondered this fact many many times. or just hire someone to take out the roadrunner for him. but where's the chuckle-factor in all that?
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Some random answers

    1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Prolly a drunk frat boy on a dare who had just come from doing tequila shooters at a strip club.

    2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

    see #1 above

    3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Cus only the fridge has "food" in it. The freezer only contains "ingredients".... EXCEPT for the tub of ice cream, which is always right at the front so you don't need a light to find it.

    4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    For the same reason that Ashley Simpson has a recording contract.

    5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    For that matter, how about driving alone with an urn of your Uncle Fred's ashes?

    6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Clearly, you've never watched a major league baseball game....

    7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    Cuz I have better boobs than she does, and she doesn't want me to see her stare!!!!

    8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    Which raises ANOTHER question: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs? (see below for the answer)

    9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    For the same reason that men will spend $10,000 on a girl before he gets to second base with her, but could have gotten the same attention for $20 in a strip club!

    10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    Yep.... yep... yep.

    11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    Which reminds me.... "politics", from the Latin "poli", meaning many, and "tics", meaning a blood-sucking insect.

    12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Having JUST watched (for the 50th time) a bit of "People vs. Larry Flint" on cable last night, I can say, with conviction, it REALLY does!

    13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    LOL.... and why does Ashley Simpson need to lip sync either of them????

    14. Stop singing and read on..........

    NO! I WON'T!!!!

    15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Shouldn't Campbell's put out a soup full of #'s, %'s, *'s, and @'s for people with Tourette's Syndrome?

    16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Drunken frat boys are the same way. Plus, they have an uncontrollable urge to stop a hind leg when you scratch behind their ear.

    17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    Know those "press here to cross" buttons you see at street intersections? They're not connected to anything. They're just there to give you false hope.

    18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    Ditto nail polish!!!!!

    What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?

    LOL.... SHAKE HANDS, SILLY!!!!!

  6. #6
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    Know those "press here to cross" buttons you see at street intersections? They're not connected to anything. They're just there to give you false hope.



    that's true! i recall reading that of all the ones in NYC that only some small number like 18% are actually connected to anything. funny. and i still push them anyway. hey, you never know.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    My freezer has a light.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    Great thread Rhi. Gave me a chuckle. Susan, you seem to know an awful lot about drunken frat boys. I did enjoy reading your answers though.

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    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Really Need Answers

    Susan, you make me laugh girl. Cute answers.



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