Hi everyone!
I have been wondering about something for a long time. Now that I have found this board and I see what great advice some of you guys give, I will ask about something that's very important to me.
I have been with my boyfriend for five years. When we first started dating in 1999, I got to meet his guy friends. My boyfriend told me at that time that he also has one female friend. He has been friends with her since high school. She moved to Atlanta about five years after they graduated from the same high school. She is now living with her fiance in Atlanta. She was a flight attendant for some time, so she still came to Houston to visit her family and friends several times per year.
I said cool. I suggested that maybe I could meet her when she comes to Houston again and we could all hang out, especially since I am not originally from Houston and I haven't met many friends yet.
He said that he made an agreement with her that he would never introduce his girlfriends to her, because of an incident that happened in the past with his ex. He said his ex was the jealous type and didn't like him having a female friend, so his ex and his female friend didn't get along to the point of almost fighting. Ever since then, his female friend said, "Don't ever bring any of your girlfriends around me!"
I am not as jealous as some women I know, because I have a few males friends and it is strictly platonic. I do believe it's possible to have a friendship only with someone of the opposite sex. Now, my boyfriend gets upset if I hang out with any guy friends because he says I didn't tell him about them at the beginning of our realtionship. I think he is using this as an excuse because he is afraid to admit that HE is jealous. He says that he has the right to be upset and that I don't because he told me about his friendship with this girl from the beginning.
The girl has been to Houston several times and my boyfriend has hung out with her a couple of times. He has also hung out with her and her friends a couple of times. I feel horrible about being excluded. Especially since he kmows that I don't have many friends in Houston. He wants to control my social interactions with men (even though I told him he can hang out with me and my friends anytime he wants) and he wants me to be happy with his social interactions that don't include me.
I don't know if anyone understands but I am very independent and I am not looking to get married any time soon so I don't feel that I should have to give up any friendships for the sake of my relationship, even though I have to maintain the peace. I have never given him any ultimatums about his friendship with this girl. It's odd to me that he feels it's okay that we have been together for over five years and I have never even met this girl that is such a good friend to him. She even asked him to be in her wedding and I asked him if he was going to take me to meet her then and he said he doesn't know, he has to think about it.
From this little bit of info that I have told, do y'all think that maybe he doesn't want me to meet her for some other reason? I have always wondered why it's okay for him to talk to her fiance on the phone and everyone is cool with everyone, but I am completely left out.



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