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Thread: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    I have this regular (not married) who only wants to rub my back, caress my hair, hug and sensual talk. He spends really good money and gets dances from no other girls in the club (that I've noticed). He always says things like, when your laying in bed tonight I want you to think of me, imagine me touching and pleasing you, imagine me rubbing you from your head to your toes, remember me, think of me, don't forget me....

    I have 2 Questions:

    1) Won't he eventually get bored with me since I'm not actually "doing anything.. Should I still be dancing and caressing him back? How does a man like this want/like to be treated? He seems to really enjoy me sitting there letting him "talk..rub my back and neck.. creepy?

    2) It's kind of creeping me out now.. especially after reading "What is the Scariest Thing that has Happened in Your Club?".. I know, NOTHING in comparison but could you gentlemen please explain what customers get out of this? Is this normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?


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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    How long has he been your customer for? I'm hesitant to say he's a total freak but it sounds like he's going somewhere with this approach. In any event, he's trying to play some kind of head game with you. At some point, if he's making you uncomfortable, you may have to decide how badly you want his money.
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Sounds like he's looking for the girlfriend experience with you. However, I don't see it staying like this very much longer. I think it's only going to be short time before he starts wanting something more, be it sex, a relationship, or who knows. I'd say if he's paying you relatively well, stay in the game. If he starts getting really handsy or trying to push you out of your comfort zone, get out quickly. As a female custy, sometimes it's nice to just sit and hang out with the dancer for a while and talk, caress, get/give massages, and do stuff besides the usual lap dance. As for the "think of me at night" talk, I'd play along until it started to get out of hand. If he does or says anything to make you feel scared, break it off fast. Look out for #1.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    I wouldn't say you'll think of him or if he asks the next time if you did think of him, I'd reply with something like, I was so exhausted I crashed as soon as I laid down. You don't want him to later use that as ammo to try to persuade you on how happy ya'll would be together!!

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    He’s been my customer for almost 3 months ! ! I expected this to end, or for him to “want more a while ago…

    I think you girls are right.. He’s playing head F games with me.. He doesn’t even try to touch me .. He say’s .. your body is soo sensual.. I have soo much respect for you.. I just want to admire you and give you all you deserve..

    More than likely he’ll want something more eventually.. we’ll see. He’s coming back on Sunday so I’ll fill you all in !


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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    ugh creepy. I have a customer like that, except he smells like BO bad.

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    LOL Chloe .. mine is actually really decent, looks, dresses and smells completely normal.. Why don’t you tell him you have a shower and deodorant fetish.


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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    I think he really just wants to get into your pants and is being a big pussy about it.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Sounds like he might be after more than just the dancer/customer relationship.

    Do you talk to him on a personal level, or have you have stayed within a "dancer persona" and behave differently inside the club to what you do outside. In other words does he want a relationship with "Yea the stripper", or "Yea the person"? If he just likes the idea of being friendly with your work persona it should be easier to keep things within the limits you want/are comfortable with.

    Remember guys do fantisise about strippers. Maybe he is indulging in a bit of wish fulfillment without wanting anything further, and will be happy just meeting you at work. However, I suspect he's after an OTC relationship and is smart enough to know that asking you for a date without having built up some form of emotional bond with you is not going to get him anything other than a no.

    If you want, you have a low key way to get the guy to back off without being to obvious about it. Just drop the phrase "my boyfriend" or "my husband" casually into the conversation. As in "yeah, me and my boyfriend watched this great television program last night". No need to break the guys heart by being too obvious about it - just make it a normal part of the conversation - "one friend talking to another" - but you are letting him know that you have an emotional commitment elsewhere and are thus not available to him.

    Phil W.

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Thanks Phil.. But he already knows I don’t have a boyfriend.. and my bad, I guess I’ve already let things get personal, we talk as me, not soo much stripper me.. We spend allot of time talking about life, work, people.. everything really. GRRR.. He head F** me and I fell for it!! He makes me soo relaxed.. now what?


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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Remember guys come in thier for the fantasy. I say, keep him around...when he gets tired of it or starts pestering you to go out with him..then you can end things there..if you're feeling uncomfortable. But otherwise..why throw out a regular. I've been there before..having to listen to nasty talk..yuck! But ...I only had to sit there while I watched the rest of the girls having to go hustle around. So stay for the ride for as long as it lasts.

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    i had a guy that was pretty bad... just enjoy the money pretend he isnt even there and be careful

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Yea, I sense some ambivilence here. In your first post you say "It's kind of creeping me out now". In your more recent one you say "He makes me so relaxed.. now what?"

    So you need to decide what you want out of it: regular who is a good source in income, confidante, friend, or what? Do you want to keep in in the club, or will you be persuaded out for a meal?

    What I don't think you can do is let things slip out of your control. As you say "He head F** me and I fell for it!!". At present he knows a fair bit about your life outside the club. The more personal stuff you tell him, the more you will encourage him to think you are interested in him as a a person rather than a customer. You need to decide how close you want the relationship to be, then pitch the conversation accordingly.

    If you want this guy as a regular then talk about baseball, television or some neutral topic. If you want to let things become more personal then continue to talk about your home life, etc.

    You can also control things a bit through your body language - the closer you allow him to sit, the more personal the relationship is. If you allow him to sit in contact with you, then that can be interpreted as a "courtship" signal, because we only allow people we are emotionally close to within 6" of us. If you want to cool things slightly then keep sitting just outside the 6" distance.

    You can still play the "boyfriend card" if you wish - and it doesn't have to be a real one. Just recount details of this "guy you've just met" or relate details of an old boyfriend shifted to the present time.

    I'll admit to some OTC friendships with dancers. In each case the dancer and I tactfully manged to let each other know what our intentions were before we met outside the venue. I know the limits they have set, and I'm always careful to respect them. If you think this guy will not stay within your personal limits then you need to start shifting the conversation away from any expectation that he can meet you OTC.

    If you do go OTC then make sure he understands before exactly what you are offering - are you offering a friendship or a relationship? One dancer and I enjoy the occasional meal together. I am fully aware she wants to be friends only, so meet her with the expectation of nothing more than a convivial evening.

    Finally, look at this through this guy's eyes. He's spending a fair bit of money on you. - what are his expectations? If he just likes your company inside the club and is willing to pay for your time; no problem. If he's spending money in the expectation that things will go OTC, and you have no intention of going down that road, then you need to manage the relationship so he doesn't end up thinking he's been played for a sucker.

    In other words continue to take his money, but try and gently make him aware that although you like and value his company within the club it's unlikely you'll meet him outside. Say something like, "you're my favourite customer and I really enjoy coming into work when I know you'll meet me", but make sure he picks up on the subtext of "customer" and "work."

    You need to get across the idea that you really value the time and money he lavishes on you, but that that time and money is not going to lead to an OTC relationship. That way he may at least feel he's getting a bit of a "personal" return from the money he's spending. (In those circumstances you proably need advice from a dancer as to how to keep him as a regular - he is after all one of your sources of income).

    To summarise this rather lengthy post:

    1. Make up your mnd what you want from this guy.
    2. Manage the relationship accordingly - don't let him steer it the way he wants.

    Phil W.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Not freaky, he likes to pamper, and be a slave to you're affection for money. Enjoy him. He wont get bored if you respond with words like "that feels real good." He just needs to know his limits...So watch for that.

    Pamela

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    hes got me creeped out.
    **INDICA**

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    Well, it sounds like you can make some nice money while merely indulging the guys fantasy. As long as its kept in the club under "safe" conditions, you should be fine....no harm no foul IMO. If he ever does anything that creeps you out for real (as opposed to just mental unsettledness) then give him the boot.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    What I meant to say is:

    He “had” made me feel soo relaxed” until I read “Scariest Thing that has Happened in Your Club” It got me thinking about this guy.. cuz he so repeatedly says all that stuff. It started to creep me out thinking about it. Anyway, I did allow it to get personal.. it is relaxing to have a two hour massage after all and three months later, I let my guard down.

    I’ll be more careful with this guy for sure!

    Ladies, from your experience do you think if I told him I have a new boy friend I’d risk loosing his business?


    Thanks for all the great advise ladies and gents.


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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    I had a customer like that. From my experiences, if a couple weeks go by, and he's satisfied with just "cuddleing" with you, he'll stay that way. Just make him feel special and tell him over and over again how much you like him and enjoy kicking back with him.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    How often does this guy come in? He actually reminds me of myself,,, and I am not ashamed of that. I too have given back and shoulder massages ,,, even foot massages in private while paying for the songs. And yes I suppose there is part of me that wishes that somehow it would work as more than dancer/customer ..... but deep down I know that it would never happen. All i am saying is that I am not a freak, (well at least not until u want me to be one = different thread LOL), but I also dont go in weekly or anything like that. Only once in a while. It is hard to explain sometimes that some of us really do get off by pleasing a cute girl. And there is alot to enjoy about talking the "real" talk with one. I know u all give the advice about stay the fantasy and all, but there are a rare few of us who prefer the real and wont cross that line either. You will have to be the judge of this ultimatley.
    Good luck

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    Member Miss Six's Avatar
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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    I have a customer like that. He's a sweetheart. He comes in about once every two weeks, and I spend about an hour sitting on his lap, letting him rub my back and shoulders, and snuggling. It's actually kind of enjoyable for me; He's a nice guy, and there's nothing wrong with getting paid to spend time snuggling with him.

    In my experience, what it boils down to is that some guys want sex, and some guys want intimacy. They're willing to pay for both. Neither one is necessarily wrong, it's just that, in the same way that some girls aren't comfortable with a certain level of sexual interaction, (you seem really weirded out by his dirty talking, for instance), not all girls are going to be comfortable being/acting intimate with a customer.

    I would just say be a little bit more cautious with your personal details from now on. I'm fairly lenient with many of mine, (about my living situation, my hobbies, where I grew up), but I keep a tight grip on where I live, what type of car I drive, and other information that could be used to track me down.

    BTW, I would highly suggest *not* telling him you have a boyfriend. What you may want to tell him, in case he asks directly, is that "I'm choosing not to date right now. I had a rough breakup, and I'm really not ready to start seeing anyone anytime soon." (In my case, that's the truth, but there's nothing wrong with lying a little bit, sometimes!) Basically you're telling him that you're single, (therefore, maintaining his fantasy), but that you don't want to date anyone, (including him), and that it's not that he's unattractive or you aren't interested, (again, the fantasy), but that it's all the fault of your asshole ex, (who may or may not exist.)

    Just my two cents. . .
    "All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast." - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Normal behavior or a sign of a FREAK ?

    "Not freaky, he likes to pamper, and be a slave to you're affection for money."
    Pam, I really hope you got it girl, we had a really pampering night together again.

    "I have a customer like that. He's a sweetheart. "
    This guy is a total sweetheart, intelligent, soft.. He doesn’t ask me out, just fantasizes about being out with me. ? He says he's not married and went thru a bad divorce.

    "you seem really weirded out by his dirty talking"
    I love to dirty talk, “MEAUW ! ;" )
    It was the think of me, think of me,.. then I actually was thinking of him that freaked me out.

    OPEN, I'm glad you didn’t take anything in the wrong context. I’m sure if you read the other thread you can see why I was actually freaking out.
    He comes to see me a few times a month. We have a really nice time together, the thing is I’ve never not been asked out before (after knowing someone so long..) but he talks about being together all the time.

    "I would just say be a little bit more cautious with your personal details from now on"

    No doubt Miss Sixty.


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