Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: For those materialistic wives out there.

  1. #1
    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,519
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default For those materialistic wives out there.

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
    the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
    feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that
    every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not
    in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
    satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love
    me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
    sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
    time with her.

    We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
    big unnamed dept. store.

    I walked around with her while she tried on several different
    very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
    I told her we'll just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
    lets get a pair for each outfit.

    We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of
    diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must
    have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
    tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
    think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
    excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
    is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
    don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
    baffled WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
    awhile..

    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
    for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
    added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
    things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

  2. #2
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,206
    Thanks
    113
    Thanked 49 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    Lmao
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

  3. #3
    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Ohio
    Posts
    907
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    ha ha ha, Love it!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chani_Fremen's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    I rather be somewhere else...
    Posts
    171
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    Lmao
    ~*~ I must not fear. ~*~
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    ~*~ Only I will remain. ~*~

  5. #5
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,530
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    LMAO!!!!! That is great!!!

    I think you made your point and hopefully she will get the point...



  6. #6
    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    on my couch
    Posts
    1,305
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 38 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    is that 4 real!?!?

  7. #7
    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,519
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    It's a joke someone E-Mailed to me. Not married, but I could see how this could work.

  8. #8
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    *laughs* I'm waiting for my bf to try something like this one day, so often I'm like "eh... not tonight" but like, me getting undressed is forplay for him so he's like "you're so mean!" *smirkle* poor guy. Though "You're just not
    in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
    satisfy your physical needs as a man." isn't my line, mine is more along the lines of: "how about a blowjob instead?"
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  9. #9
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    LMFAO.. Now, that's one joke that I am definitely printing out. Gotta give it to the In-Laws.. They'll love it..

  10. #10
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    Hehe, did you seriously do that? Make sure to let us know when you DO get to have sex again?

    In your wife's defense... haven't you heard of evolutionary psychology?
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  11. #11
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Virginia countryside.
    Posts
    3,299
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: For those materialistic wives out there.

    Quote Originally Posted by RedZ28
    Not married, but I could see how this could work.
    I can see a man laying flat on his back,jaw aching,looking up at the lights of the department store.

    freekin riot!!!

Similar Threads

  1. Sister Wives
    By AngelCummings in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 09-09-2011, 06:34 PM
  2. Wives and strippers
    By adoringfan in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 12-28-2009, 01:32 PM
  3. For those of you with wives/girlfriends...
    By kaiarose in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 04-29-2008, 06:51 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •