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Thread: Taking Compliments

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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Taking Compliments

    Ok, I, on occassion, have a problem accepting compliments; but that's not my question. I'm curious as to why some dancers will not accept compliments from customers. There are times when I will tell a dancer she's beautiful, gorgeous, etc., and she doesn't know how to take it. Sometimes they just smile and look away, or will verbally bash themselves with "No I'm not", "You're just being nice cause I'm naked", "I never thought I was that good-looking", or "I hate my body". Ladies, what is the deal with that?
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Honestly, it's easy to get jaded in this business. You hear alot of what you want to hear and cant really tell the bs from reality sometimes. It's not that I dont appreciate compliments but try to come up with something I haven't heard before. It's like pickup lines. They don't work. Complimenting me on something other than the normal things tend to stand out.
    AmyLynne

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I agree with, Amy.

    A dancer hears the "You're hot, You're gorgeous" line a lot. It starts to seem pretty fake after a while.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Maybe by rejecting a compliment they are fishing for more:
    Customer: You are beautiful
    Dancer: No I'm not
    Customer: Yes, and youre pretty, hot, sexy etc
    Dancer: Really?
    Customer: Yes I love you and blah blah blah

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Most dancers spend much of their working lives inside strip venues. During that time they must dance for hundreds of customers and talk to many more.

    As a customer you send far less times inside a strip venue and may not have seen that particular dancer before. What is thus a unique and witty compliment to you is probably the hundredth time that particular dancer has heard it.

    In addition many dancers do not like bring told by complete strangers that they have great tits/ass, etc., particularly if you are the dozenth person that day. Add to that the understandable wariness of many dancers that a compliment is the prelude to a chat up line, and you have some of the reasons for wariness.

    I personally often tell a dancer before a dance that said dance is just a bit of fun and that, although enjoyable, it's not to be taken seriously. I then thank them afterwards for a very pleasant few minutes and usually make some remark like, "well, I'd better let my blood pressure get back to normal now."

    I think most dancers like to be appreciated as entertainers, and the "light-hearted" approach tends to make them more relaxed, both during the dance, and in responding to you afterwards.

    Phil W

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I'm with Amy and Rose. You hear so many compliments night after night (not that compliments are bad) and you start to believe it's just someone handing you another line of bs. You are so beautiful, god you have a great body, I love your ass.......blah, blah, blah. Sure it's nice, but really, do they really mean it? Or are they warming you up to ask if you'll go home with them?

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    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    It's a combination between hearing it all of the time and sometimes we don't want you to think we are stuck on ourselves.... I don't want to be in the "my shit doesn't stink" category, although that would be cool... LOL



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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    It's not like I say it with total lust and horniness in my eyes. I've never told a girl she had great tits/boobs, ass, was hot or anything like that. I wouldn't say anything that could be taken with a negative connotation, or would detract from her. Just told them they were beautiful. I say it to be nice, and I don't say it unless I mean it. I'm still sort of new to the whole SC scene, so I guess I don't understand that they hear all that stuff 800 times a night. I realize I'm a nerd. Pardon the naivete'.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Not really on topic, but my ATF always says that she has a ghetto ass.

    I always have to tell no that her ass is very nice.

    (( / ))(( | ))(( \ ))

    Last edited by CalifSCVisitor65; 02-05-2005 at 03:03 PM. Reason: typo

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I have somewhat of a ghetto *ss,myself.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I would just "tee hee" and tell them "thank you" to them no matter what the sex of the customer is. But, yea sometimes after a while the "your really beautiful" one sounds fake or just plain repetitive. Usually I respond in such fashion.....
    Him: Your soooo beautiful...you have such a gorgeous ( fill in body part here )
    Me: Thank you .hehehehe
    Him: I bet you here that all the time?
    Me: Yea, I do but its always nice to hear it.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  12. #12
    kymchoon
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    It's one of those really awkward situations for us guys. On the one hand, we know you get compliments all the time, and are probably sick of them. On the other, if there's something about you that I happen to think is exceptional, then I think that it might be nice to let you know that I appreciate it (note: this is always either eyes, hair or appreciation for conversational skills from me. I wouldn't comment to some girl I've just met at a party on her tits/ass, so I'm not going to do it in a SC either).

    On a related note, it can also be a great 'tell' about what will keep them spending money on you. If a guy comments on your breasts, then focus on them during a lap dance, if he comments on your ass, likewise. If he comments on your eyes, give a lot of eye contact, etc...It could make the difference between one lap and 3 or 4.

    DSU: If you want your compliments to sound more sincere, try to steer away from the generic "you're beautiful/gorgeous" stuff. Firstly, it's the most commonly used compliment and is easily filtered out, and secondly it requires no actual thought or real appreciation to give. If there's something in particular you like about a dancer, then be specific and you'll sound less 'fake'.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I like the random clompliments I get from regulars like "I love your hand expressions when you get excited" or I love the way you play with your hair when you're thinking."
    The normal ones get old and half the time they are followed with a "why won't you go out with me" or do you date customers question."
    I like to hear, "You're sexy how about a lap dance?"
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  14. #14
    kymchoon
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild
    I like to hear, "You're sexy how about a lap dance?"


    There you go DSU, problem solved! Just keep using that one - might get a little expensive though...

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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by kymchoon


    There you go DSU, problem solved! Just keep using that one - might get a little expensive though...

    Lol, can only use it about 3 or 4 times a night. You have some good advice kymchoon. Being more specific sounds like good advice. My friends tell me I;m cute all the time, but it makes me feel better when they tell me I have the best smile. I'll have to try that. Thanks y'all.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

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    Senior Member PoisonKandi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Maybe the girls are just like you and just have a problem accepting compliments as well.

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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I think it also depends on how well you know the dancer. If you've got more than a nodding acquaintance, then you come to understand if they appreciate compliments or not. So do and some don't.

    My rule of thumb is that the more financially motivated dancers don't appreciate more than than a sincere "thanks", while the more limited numbers of dancers with an exhibisionistic motive like slightly more personal comments.

    Phil W.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I disagree Phil. I tend to straddle that line myself. I am financially ambitious yet at the sametime I also tend to enjoy some of the personal conversation and that doesnt mean I give away personal info.

    It just makes me feel better when its not something I hear all the time. If someone is sincere theyll find away to compliment without making it sound cheesy or they want to get into my panties.

    One of my regs told me that he comes to me because Im one of the few girls that comes off as sincere in my conversation and because I dont let things get me down. Im happy even when I have bad night which isnt often but what he doesnt know is I dont bring stuff to work.

    Its a much better compliment when its about personality or how a girl handles herself than nice ass or great tits.
    AmyLynne

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    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by DSUsb19
    "No I'm not", "You're just being nice cause I'm naked", "I never thought I was that good-looking", or "I hate my body".
    WHAT THE HELL???!! I can't believe someone would say something so blatant. How is saying you never thought you were good looking supposed to help you socialize or make money? I think it's if they are having such a bad night and are so convinced you won't buy dances that they might as well spill their guts.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    All of those have been responses to my compliments. One was made last trip by my ATF, who then told me she absolutely hates her breasts and etc. I usually won't engage a dancer in convo unless I've seen her a few times, or we have chatted before. They know I'm being sincere when I say it and not trying to be all pervy. It's really kind of disheartening because the girls will tell me this while we're just hanging out having "normal" convo, and they open up to me. It's sad to think that these girls who are absolutely beautiful would think that they're anything but that.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by PhilW
    I think it also depends on how well you know the dancer. If you've got more than a nodding acquaintance, then you come to understand if they appreciate compliments or not. So do and some don't.

    My rule of thumb is that the more financially motivated dancers don't appreciate more than than a sincere "thanks", while the more limited numbers of dancers with an exhibisionistic motive like slightly more personal comments.

    Phil W.
    Quote Originally Posted by amylynnej
    I disagree Phil. I tend to straddle that line myself. I am financially ambitious yet at the sametime I also tend to enjoy some of the personal conversation and that doesnt mean I give away personal info.

    It just makes me feel better when its not something I hear all the time. If someone is sincere theyll find away to compliment without making it sound cheesy or they want to get into my panties.

    One of my regs told me that he comes to me because Im one of the few girls that comes off as sincere in my conversation and because I dont let things get me down. Im happy even when I have bad night which isnt often but what he doesnt know is I dont bring stuff to work.

    Its a much better compliment when its about personality or how a girl handles herself than nice ass or great tits.
    Amy, I was thinking very much of dancers I've known for a couple of years. One takes things non-seriously, expects me to do the same, and asks for nothing more than a peck on the cheek and a murmered thanks at the end of the dance.

    Another has made it clear she gets a bit of personal fun out of it, and hence likes a slightly more "direct" comment. She'd be disappointed if she didn't get the comment, while the first dancer I mentioned would be offended.

    It's a bit like any other social situation really; find what the other person is comfortable with and try and tailor your behaviour accordingly. What I would hope I never do is stray into "dumbass" territory by making unwelcome remarks.

    Phil W.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I like to take compliments as an opportunity to take money. "You're beautiful," "Yes I am, you should give me all your money." Well, not exactly like that, but you know. If it's an all serious guy I'll just say thank you, or if they complement my show or my dance I'll say thanks, I try. For more playful guys it's, "yeah, I know" <big grin> or "know what? I was born that way!"

    What bothers me is the amount of men who EXPECT and almost DEMAND that I have low self esteem. It'll go like...
    "You're really beautiful"
    "Thank you."
    "I really mean it, you really are."
    "Well, I really appreciate the compliment, thanks."
    "I just want you to beleive how beautiful you are."
    "Oh, trust me, I do."
    "No, really."
    "Really, I know how beautiful I am and I enjoy it very much."
    "I know you don't beleive me, but it's true"

    And on and on and on... like I'm supposed to think I'm ugly?!? They drive me crazy because they never want to pay me they just want me to be incredibly grateful that they think I'm beautiful.



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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    Most people in our society have difficulty receiving compliments. Graciousness is a learned skill and not something that's generally taught anymore. Much like courtesy, it's considered to be old fashioned. We teach aggressiveness instead.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Member Str82ThePoint's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    I like to wink or blink my eyes at a girl if I think she is beautiful. Usually this speaks volumes without saying a word. With the loud music, yelling "you're hot!" at a girl is not sexy in any way. Most girls respond to the wink or blink with either a giggle or a wink back.

    Words can ruin a complement.

    My favorite thing to say/do during the lap dance, if the girl really does it for me, look away and kinda say, oh wow, bite my lip, whatever..... Look back and kinda shake my head. If she initiates the "what is it?" question or has that look... My reply is,"It's just not fair." If she gets me, then I usually don't have to say anything else. If she comes back with, "What's not fair?" then the response is something like, "You drive me completely wild and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it... just not fair "

    Now, this is not a programmed response, it is just my natural reaction. This usually happens when the girl bends over toward me and looks me dead in the eye. I had rather stare a beautiful woman in the eye than look at her body any day of the week. Beautiful eyes, lips, neck, etc... are more sensual than the sexiest bod on the planet. I will complement a girl on those features a lot quicker than I will on her tits and ass.

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    Default Re: Taking Compliments

    When I was younger and didn't have any self esteem, I found it hard to accept compliments. Now that I'm older, I just say thank you and don't argue with whoever gave it to me. I don't put myself down anymore.

    When a customer compliments me, it depends on who it's from whether or not it really means something. I still will thank him, but we hear BS all day so it doesn't count as a real compliment usually. If it is from a regular, it means a little more than from the drunken idiot that prob can't see straight anyway.

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