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Thread: how much touching do you girls allow?

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    Newbie SexymrJonny's Avatar
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    Default how much touching do you girls allow?

    Today was my first experience at a strip club, and I had a great time. It was also my first lap dance, and the whole time I was wondering how much she would allow me explore with my hands. Since I was nervous and didn't know my limitations I just rested my hands on her thighs.

    On my second lap dance the stripper I was with basically told me to feel her breasts, so I did.

    Before then, I didn't know anything like that was allowed (sorry, I'm totally new to this) and I'm just wondering how much do you girls think is appropriate?

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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Hmm I dont know the limitations in that area....but for me its whatever I feel like doing and thats no contact...Ill get close only if they are a regular (b/c regulars get better dances from me...I cant speak for everyone else). In some areas its a bit more liberal.
    Besides, you can always ask her...I think it would be nice of you instead of just grabbing a certain part. She will appreciate it.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    I appreciate it when they ask. Normally I will put the customers hands on my hips. I allow them to touch my legs other than inside my thighs, my abs, waist, shoulders and thats it.
    AmyLynne

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    This not only varies city to city, but from dancer to dancer in the same club. Be sure you know what the law is (for real, the door man should be able to give you an idea) so as you don't get arrested. Even if the dancer said she doesn't mind being touched, vice might be there looking for your roaming hands.

    I know that it sucks but some clubs won't be straight with you on what is and isn't legal. This is definately a buyer beware business!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    *slaps the hand* No touching! Heh. If I were with a regular, I would probably let them just rest their hands on my hips. No moving me around, no grinding back ( I HATE that), ect. And if they decided to get feely I would slap em.

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    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    MrJonny, you've probably heard this term before, though not in the strip club context:

    Your Mileage May Vary. (Also referred to as YMMV.)

    As has been shown in the thread so far, different clubs have different rules (or at least different reputations). Within each club, individual dancers have their own rules of engagement, and those may differ from customer to customer as well. However, I'd like to take it a step further, with an excerpt from a post I made on SCJ some time back:

    All customers are not created equal. You have to be the right customer of the right dancer in the right club on the right day, and be able to make the right offer. (And I'm not even talking extras.) What SusieDancer may do for mr_p today she may not do for me tomorrow, but she might do it for another guy if he offers double the rate she charges mr_p.
    My point? There is no single answer that says "All strippers may be touched here, here and here, but not there, and certainly NOT there." It will depend on so many factors it makes your head spin. Best thing to do, as amylynne suggested, just ask.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Usually when I get a lap from a girl for the first time, I ask what her rules are, then I abide by them. But a surprising number of girls won't answer that question. In that case I start with hands on back or outside of legs and move very slowly so that she has plenty of time to stop me if I'm heading in a direction that she doesn't like. Even so, this is a hit or miss kind of thing, sometimes you will inadvertantly piss off the girl anyway, that's just part of the risk. You can't win them all. There really are no universal rules other than to be polite, but that can mean different things to different people.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    i would just ask. most of us dont like people who just grab (there are so many posts about this on here). rules vary on state, county, city, club and the girl herself. personally, i love when guys with foot fetishes come in. my feet get achy and a foot rub is always welcome. i dont mind back rubs either. (my clothes stay on) a hug when i see a regular- fine too.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL
    Usually when I get a lap from a girl for the first time, I ask what her rules are, then I abide by them. But a surprising number of girls won't answer that question.
    There may be a couple of reasons for this. First, she thinks that if she tells you a long list of rules, you may not want the dance. Second, in a lot clubs, what actually goes on may be quite a bit different than what the strict letter of the law says.

    In that case I start with hands on back or outside of legs and move very slowly so that she has plenty of time to stop me if I'm heading in a direction that she doesn't like. Even so, this is a hit or miss kind of thing, sometimes you will inadvertantly piss off the girl anyway, that's just part of the risk. You can't win them all. There really are no universal rules other than to be polite, but that can mean different things to different people.
    Excellent advice. As was mentioned YMMV. If a guy truly thought it was allowed and then stops when I ask him to, it's not that big a deal. It's the assholes that keep at it that make me mad.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    It was also my first lap dance, and the whole time I was wondering how much she would allow me explore with my hands.
    My first rule of SCing is:

    Always follow the dancer's lead.

    You really can't go wrong that way, and you don't waste time with someone that doesn't suit you; you'll usually know after just one dance what her limits and comfort level are for you. This doesn't mean you need to be a PL about it, but if she's comfortable you'll have a much better time.

    Two cents.
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  11. #11
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Honestly, I go with what the law allows. However, if the law allowed things like fingerbanging, etc, I might alter my personal guidelines just a bit. Touching doesn't really bother me, but I also don't want to allow anything that would cause legal reprocussions to myself or my club.

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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    I don't mind some touching but I gave a dance to a guy yesterday that really pissed me off. I was kind of sitting in his lap. lying back and I moved to get up to face the other way and he grabbed my hip trying to hold me down. I had to pull his hand off of me. Um...don't hold me down when I'm trying to get up....I'm not your f#cking prisoner. He lost the rest of his dance. Other than that...I agree with the statement of follow her lead.

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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    It all depends on the club. Some clubs enforce a 6 inch rule, some allow us to touch the customer but the customer can't touch us, and others it is hands on everywhere but the crotch area.

    It is called going with the flow and all of us know what kind of contact is expected/allowed before we work at a club.

    Of course at some clubs sex is happening and a blind eye is turned to it, but that depends on how far a particular dancer is willing to go with a customer.

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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Depend on the cclub and the girl. Some clubs are contact clubs, where the girl can grind on the guy and put her boobs in your face..but you CAN'T touch the dancer, hand have to be the side. I have heard of clubs of where anything goes. No offence to anyone..but I always have guys telling me about the ST.JAMES club in Houston..I guess things get really wild there with some serious extras. Anway..to be on the safe side..just ask the girl what the rules are and if you can or if she's feels comfortable with you touching her.

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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Sorry, I meant the guys hands have to be on the side.

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    As a custy and if I am getting a dance from someone new, I'll leave my hands to the side of my body. In fact last time in the Keys the dancer started laughing and asking me "why didn't I want to touch her?"

    While in Vegas right out on the main floor, this dancer sits down in my lap and I have my hands on the arms of the chair and she immediately takes my hand and puts it on her right breast. I was just a tad shocked considering this is my fav club in Vegas and not exactly a high-contact club.

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    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    CalifSC, if you're thinking of the same club I'm thinking of, this was the first place I ever got a lap dance outside of California (where before I had always had to keep my hands behind my back). I compensated by telling the dancer "My parents always taught me to be a gentleman."

    So she said "You are a gentleman." Then took my hands and put them on her butt. Aww, bless her heart
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Oceans
    CalifSC, if you're thinking of the same club I'm thinking of, this was the first place I ever got a lap dance outside of California (where before I had always had to keep my hands behind my back).
    LOL don't know

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    Veteran Member Lurker_001's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Psssst... Don't tell anyone i told you but they like it better if you're not touching during a grind...

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    For the reasons mentioned by others above, I generally either ask or follow the dancer's leads, whether they are verbal or physical. Following her lead has the advantage that a lot of dancers gradually permit more touching if you buy a series of dances, basically as a selling technique to keep you going for one more to see what, if anything, new she will do or permit. It sort of squelches that scenario, at least to some extent, if you ask her to spell out everything explicitly in advance. FONDL mentioned above that some dancers do not seem to want to answer such questions in advance; this may be one of the reasons.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    If maximum touching is your main objective, you are likely to get less of it than if you are naturally touching as a part of enjoying the whole experience, the whole girl. Treat her like a person instead of an object and you willl ultimately be allowed to touch more. Of course then you may not want to. I find that the better I get to know and like a girl the less I care about where I'm allowed to touch, any kind of thouching is enjoyable. There comes a point where I'd just as soon hold her hand as do anything else.

    Ww, the only reason a girl won't answer a question about what she allows is if she is conning you into thinking she will allow more than she actually will. Such people neither deserve nor get any respect from me because they aren't showing me any.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Newbie SexymrJonny's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Yeah, ofcourse maximum contact isn't my main objective. I was asking to put a limit on my natural instincts. I am very intruiged with the personality of the strippers aswell (that's half of why I'm here), but I'm also curious as to how much of the personality I experience is actually real. I strongly agree with the "treating them like a real person" thing, but it makes me wonder how real they actually are while on the Job. For example, what if the girl you got to know and like thinks you're "not such a great guy" and just acts like she likes you to get the extra cash from dances. So, without a true emotional experience, physical is basically all you have. Athough the personality they provide is qutie fufilling.

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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    You have to assume that it is always an act. That doesn't mean that the dancer in question may not be a fine person but dancing is her job. Acting like she likes you and wants to be with you is how she makes money. As you spend more time in clubs, get to see the way things work, and get to know more ladies, you will find that sometimes you can trust everything that you hear and see and sometimes you can't.

    The trick is, to go looking for fun, not romance. Go with an open mind but a carefully guarded heart and wallet. No offense intended SJ, but I've been going to clubs since you where born and I still haven't got it all figured out. But that's half the fun!
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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon
    Honestly, I go with what the law allows. However, if the law allowed things like fingerbanging, etc, I might alter my personal guidelines just a bit. Touching doesn't really bother me, but I also don't want to allow anything that would cause legal reprocussions to myself or my club.
    What? NO Fingerbagging??? Why.... thats the ONLY reason why I go to Strip Clubs! Coincidentally, thats the only reason why I go to Laundromats, Zoos, Kawanas Socials, Chuck E Cheese, and Wal-Mart.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: how much touching do you girls allow?

    The key for me to getting a good dance (and extending that into multiple dances) is to make sure that my entertainer is comfortable with what she's doing. Respecting her contact limits is the best way to get it done.

    And yes, something is really right with the world when my good behavior is reciprocated with some misbehavior on her part.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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