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Thread: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

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    Default wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Okay girls... Wow. I can't even believe I am here. I am 20 years old, a 3rd year college student. I have been planning on being a doctor my whole life, but just this year has been so awful and the more I think about school or work the less I think I could actually hold down a steady job. My friend just got started stripping and I've been reading the boards a bit, and the money just sounds too lucrative to pass up.

    So here are my qualms:

    - I have been exploiting my mind, my entire life, i've been "the smart girl". People look at me and they think I'm going to be stupid because of how pretty I am and then I get to shock them and tell them all my credentials. I don't think I'd have that if I was a stripper.

    -I want to do this because I am always complimented on my appearance, and I am most self-confident in the dark (lol) but true- so dark strip clubs would be awesome.

    - But I am a modest person - I hardly feel comfortable taking off my clothes in front of other people.

    -One of my main reasons for not being able to hack school or a real job is emotional issues- I have mental disorders and they keep me from being a complete person on a day to day basis.

    I'm really not sure what to say. Just give me some feedback please

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by luxmorgan

    -One of my main reasons for not being able to hack school or a real job is emotional issues- I have mental disorders and they keep me from being a complete person on a day to day basis.

    I'm really not sure what to say. Just give me some feedback please
    If you have emotional issues than in my opinion dancing would probaly not be a very healthy thing for you to do.
    Being a dancer is 100% more mentally draining than any ''normal'' job I have ever had.
    This industry is probaly not the best choice for you. It's a lot eaiser to get sucked into all the bad aspects of this buisness if you are not very strong.

    Im not telling you not to dance because you should do what you want to.
    However, I do suggest learing a bit more about the 'unglamorous' side of dancing a whole lot more.

    Whatever you choose good luck


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Ahm..well. First thing is first. Have your mental disorders been diagnosed, are they being treated? Being a stripper can take a toll on you if you arent mentally prepared for everything. Taking your clothes off in front of men if you arent comfortable is a big step for someone. I would suggest just going to the club you want to work at a few times, getting a feel for the atmosphere, talk to a couple of the girls, ect. See how everything goes on in there. There are going to be some nights you make great money and some nights you make hardly any at all. Since you are in school, see if they can work with you on your schedule. You seem like a very smart woman, so obviously you would be able to hold an intelligent conversation with a man. But first and foremost, I would say if you havent tackled your mental disorders yet, do that, then go for it.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by RetiredDancer
    Ahm..well. First thing is first. Have your mental disorders been diagnosed, are they being treated? Being a stripper can take a toll on you if you arent mentally prepared for everything. Taking your clothes off in front of men if you arent comfortable is a big step for someone. I would suggest just going to the club you want to work at a few times, getting a feel for the atmosphere, talk to a couple of the girls, ect. See how everything goes on in there. There are going to be some nights you make great money and some nights you make hardly any at all. Since you are in school, see if they can work with you on your schedule. You seem like a very smart woman, so obviously you would be able to hold an intelligent conversation with a man. But first and foremost, I would say if you havent tackled your mental disorders yet, do that, then go for it.
    I have OCD and depression. I'm inwardly troubled- I never get angry with others, just myself. Anyways, I need medication and I'm not really sure how health insurance works with stripping- can you buy it independently? I would be stripping if I stopped going to school - so that wouldn't be a problem.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    dont quit school!!! if you choose to dance, make sure you finish school. you'll kick yourself if you don't.

    I am a senior english student - originally wanted to go to law school, but now I have decided that I want to continue dancing for a few years after I graduate this summer (I'm 22) and continue to build my personal training business by investing $$ I make from dancing. There is a good chance I will not even use my degree... but the thought of quitting after being so close is something I know I could not deal with. Stick with it and finish it for your own personal satisfaction. Having that piece of paper could help you greatly in the future when your dancing days are over (assuming you do decide to dance) My .02

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    I have several words of advice for you in response to your post - I think we have quite a bit in common. Maybe I can help you out a bit. (I've been a dancer for two years FYI.)

    I thought I was a modest person like you (having been raised in church), so when people started suggesting that I strip, I never thought I could cut it (especially with my flat chest). But like you, I'm also most confident in the dark. And as soon as I got onstage for the first time, I had a blast. I'd recommend you visit a strip club and check the dancers out to see what your competition would be. If you going during the day I can almost guarantee you'll think, "if they can do it, I can do it." I started on day shift, and the day customers at my bar were very easily impressed, so I felt right at home from day one. (What state do you live in, out of curiousity?)

    Your intelligence will definitely work in your favor, especially with slightly older men (which is where the bulk of your money will come from). Men love to be surprised by finding an intelligent mind in a pretty package.

    As far as your emotional issues are concerned, you might even find that dancing helps your depression, especially at first. It's a definite ego trip, and will boost your confidence in ways you'd never guess. And earning as much much as a dancer does can give you a strong sense of control of your life. DO continue to go to school (perhaps you should switch majors if your current one is bringing you down, or even cut down on your hours) because the structure will be of great benefit to you mentally. When I let my life as a stripper completely take over and my schedule becomes such that I'm sleeping all the daylight hours away, that's when depression really takes hold. Watch that you maintain a somewhat "normal" schedule and don't get too wrapped up in the lifestyle.

    Also make sure that you'll be able to keep a work scehdule that won't interfere unneccesarily with school. The last thing you need is to pressed for time and stressed out. Talk with the manager of the club you'd consider working at and make sure he's flexible. Find out for certain if you'd be working an amount of hours you're comfortable with and you might find dancing a welcome change of pace from school.

    There's absolutely nothing to be lost by giving it a shot. Try it, if just for a night, if you don't enjoy it, at least you'll have tried. DO be careful, if you start dancing, that you keep a close check on how it's affecting you mentally, and if it ever starts to affect you poorly, stop. I worked with a girl with OCD and she absolutely loved dancing. You never know how you'll do. You may find that dancing but taking frequent breaks will be the ticket to keep you level, as it CAN get to a girl to have to come up with clever ways to respond to being asked out all the time without it affecting her income. That's been the most tiring thing for me.

    Lastly, don't become best friends with the dancers, and don't let them get to you out of jealousy or competitiveness. Dancers can be very unkind. Take it as a compliment that they are threatened by you. Of course you should be friendLY with the girls at work, but you never know what kind of trouble they can get you into, so be careful not to let them suck you into their lifestyles. And while most of the girls are probably nice, I can't tell you how much drama there is to get involved in. If you start hanging out with your co-workers off the clock, you'll likely come across some things that are not conducive to going to school. For all the level-headed women that dance, especially the ones on this board, there are just as many with a drug or alcohol problem, or just a shitty outlook that will bring you down to be around. Make sure that the girls you work with are positive and generally happy, being around pessimistic bitching and complaining everytime you go to work isn't good for anyone, especially one inclined to be depressed.

    If you really think you need medication, take a trip to your school's student health center. They should be able to help you out and prescribe mecidine for you inexpensively, if need be. Their services are priced to fit a student's budget.

    I hope I've given you some things to think about, and there's always more advice where this came from if you're intrested. I'll answer any questions you have as best I can.

    (Sorry this is so long!)

    P.S. Stripping will in no way diminish your 'credentials'. You'll still have all the reason in the world to view yourself as the pretty girl who is shockingly intelligent. And you'll be even more well-rounded because of it. Being a stripper is an entirely different kind of education, and a valuable one at that. You'll learn things about yourself you may never have learned otherwise and find a strength you never knew you had. And while I think dancing is something to be proud of, there ARE people who don't, and you will do well not to advertise it. Anyone who'd judge you poorly because of it doesn't need to know. For the record, there are plenty of people who would be impressed by your courage and fortitude if they knew you were a stripper and give you credit for characteristics they didn't know you had. Still, keep your life as an exotic dancer completely separate from the rest of your life and you'll have nothing to worry about.
    Last edited by laree; 02-11-2005 at 09:16 AM.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by luxmorgan
    the money just sounds too lucrative to pass up.
    Not necessarily. It's relative to how well you do or how good the club is.

    Quote Originally Posted by luxmorgan
    I don't think I'd have that if I was a stripper.
    No you might not get that kind of attention, but you have to stop worrying about what people think so much, because everyone has different tastes. You are the seller, it's not about them complimenting you or them thinking you're smart. You can't be everything to everyone. If you like being smart, play it up, if you want to escape that then leave it outside.

    Quote Originally Posted by luxmorgan
    But I am a modest person - I hardly feel comfortable taking off my clothes in front of other people.
    From the minute you get in the dressing room you'll be talking your clothes off in front of random women and oftentimes male management. If you are uncomfortable, it will show when you're on stage. You can get used to it if you want to.

    Quote Originally Posted by luxmorgan
    One of my main reasons for not being able to hack school or a real job is emotional issues- I have mental disorders and they keep me from being a complete person on a day to day basis.
    What types of disorders?

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by laree
    I have several words of advice for you in response to your post - I think we have quite a bit in common. Maybe I can help you out a bit. (I've been a dancer for two years FYI.)

    I thought I was a modest person like you (having been raised in church), so when people started suggesting that I strip, I never thought I could cut it (especially with my flat chest). But like you, I'm also most confident in the dark. And as soon as I got onstage for the first time, I had a blast. I'd recommend you visit a strip club and check the dancers out to see what your competition would be. If you going during the day I can almost guarantee you'll think, "if they can do it, I can do it." I started on day shift, and the day customers at my bar were very easily impressed, so I felt right at home from day one. (What state do you live in, out of curiousity?)

    Your intelligence will definitely work in your favor, especially with slightly older men (which is where the bulk of your money will come from). Men love to be surprised by finding an intelligent mind in a pretty package.

    As far as your emotional issues are concerned, you might even find that dancing helps your depression, especially at first. It's a definite ego trip, and will boost your confidence in ways you'd never guess. And earning as much much as a dancer does can give you a strong sense of control of your life. DO continue to go to school (perhaps you should switch majors if your current one is bringing you down, or even cut down on your hours) because the structure will be of great benefit to you mentally. When I let my life as a stripper completely take over and my schedule becomes such that I'm sleeping all the daylight hours away, that's when depression really takes hold. Watch that you maintain a somewhat "normal" schedule and don't get too wrapped up in the lifestyle.

    Also make sure that you'll be able to keep a work scehdule that won't interfere unneccesarily with school. The last thing you need is to pressed for time and stressed out. Talk with the manager of the club you'd consider working at and make sure he's flexible. Find out for certain if you'd be working an amount of hours you're comfortable with and you might find dancing a welcome change of pace from school.

    There's absolutely nothing to be lost by giving it a shot. Try it, if just for a night, if you don't enjoy it, at least you'll have tried. DO be careful, if you start dancing, that you keep a close check on how it's affecting you mentally, and if it ever starts to affect you poorly, stop. I worked with a girl with OCD and she absolutely loved dancing. You never know how you'll do. You may find that dancing but taking frequent breaks will be the ticket to keep you level, as it CAN get to a girl to have to come up with clever ways to respond to being asked out all the time without it affecting her income. That's been the most tiring thing for me.

    Lastly, don't become best friends with the dancers, and don't let them get to you out of jealousy or competitiveness. Dancers can be very unkind. Take it as a compliment that they are threatened by you. Of course you should be friendLY with the girls at work, but you never know what kind of trouble they can get you into, so be careful not to let them suck you into their lifestyles. And while most of the girls are probably nice, I can't tell you how much drama there is to get involved in. If you start hanging out with your co-workers off the clock, you'll likely come across some things that are not conducive to going to school. For all the level-headed women that dance, especially the ones on this board, there are just as many with a drug or alcohol problem, or just a shitty outlook that will bring you down to be around. Make sure that the girls you work with are positive and generally happy, being around pessimistic bitching and complaining everytime you go to work isn't good for anyone, especially one inclined to be depressed.

    If you really think you need medication, take a trip to your school's student health center. They should be able to help you out and prescribe mecidine for you inexpensively, if need be. Their services are priced to fit a student's budget.

    I hope I've given you some things to think about, and there's always more advice where this came from if you're intrested. I'll answer any questions you have as best I can.

    (Sorry this is so long!)

    P.S. Stripping will in no way diminish your 'credentials'. You'll still have all the reason in the world to view yourself as the pretty girl who is shockingly intelligent. And you'll be even more well-rounded because of it. Being a stripper is an entirely different kind of education, and a valuable one at that. You'll learn things about yourself you may never have learned otherwise and find a strength you never knew you had. And while I think dancing is something to be proud of, there ARE people who don't, and you will do well not to advertise it. Anyone who'd judge you poorly because of it doesn't need to know. For the record, there are plenty of people who would be impressed by your courage and fortitude if they knew you were a stripper and give you credit for characteristics they didn't know you had. Still, keep your life as an exotic dancer completely separate from the rest of your life and you'll have nothing to worry about.
    thank you so much!!! that was awesome advice!!! could i talk to you on AIM some, and show you my pictures and a link of the club with the girls pics where i'm considering working?

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by LilSweetVixen
    Not necessarily. It's relative to how well you do or how good the club is.



    No you might not get that kind of attention, but you have to stop worrying about what people think so much, because everyone has different tastes. You are the seller, it's not about them complimenting you or them thinking you're smart. You can't be everything to everyone. If you like being smart, play it up, if you want to escape that then leave it outside.



    If you are uncomfortable, it will show, but you can get used to that.



    What types of disorders?

    thank you for the advice- i have OCD and depression.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    I'm glad to help. I've PM'd you with my screen name and email address so we can chat more.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    If you don't let it take control of your life, stay focused on your goals, and remember that its JUST A JOB, it will probably be good for you! After all, its good money for college and I'm sure it will be a great self esteem boost. I'm in my third year of college too and I'm about to start dancing so I totally relate.

    I was going to quit college last year cause sometimes it gets tough, you get desperate and unmotivated . Thank God I didn't quit! I transferred to another university and I switched majors. Sometimes you need to do something like that - get a fresh start and get motivated again - just never give up! You'll regret it if you do. I'm sure that there are lots of other guys that think like me - it takes more than a preety face and a hot body! Sometimes I go to strip clubs and some of the girls do fine with me...until they open their mouth! I love it when I meet a dancer who has brains AND a magnetic personality that matches her looks. They're the ones that get my money (thank God there aren't that many out there! Less competition for you!)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by luxmorgan
    I don't think I'd have that if I was a stripper.

    Word of advice: if you decide to dance, don't worry about what the customers think about you, in most cases thay'll be too busy staring at you doing your thing to think about anything else... besides, they're the ones paying to see you! Just smile and above all radiate confidende and a magnetic personality (not cockiness).

    We're here to back you up all the way!

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Dont quit school!!! Eventhough Im only 20 I regret quitting school after I started dancing. I wouldve been alot farther in school if I didnt. Most of my friends are all out of junior colleges and almost done with their degrees. Here I am starting all over again.
    Keep your lives separate and think you will be fine. Most of what I was going to say was already said by Laree. LIke some said....just go check it out b/c in this type of job it can vary all over the US but essentially the same thing.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Yes, you can buy your own medical insurance... but it might not cover your condition.
    Dancing will help you afford to get the medicine you need. On the other hand, it may
    not be as lucrative in the long run as you thought. It can be especially hard on sleep
    schedules, making it difficult to go to school. The plus side is that your work schedule
    can be as little as 12 hours a week... in which time, who knows, it is possible you could
    make $500 in those 12 hours. But if you're in a college town, you may have a lot of competition.
    In any case, it would be best to try to find a club an hour's drive away so that you
    don't run into any classmates, professors, etc. After your first shift or two your shyness
    will disappear. If you aren't going nude, all you are showing is your boobs... girls flash
    them out in public at concerts, etc. and guys see about as much on the beach, or
    more in magazines, movies, etc. Mentally, as other posters have written, it can be
    very tough on your self esteem... and also very good. You can get too much attention
    and compliments... and too many put downs and insults. So that may be your biggest
    challenge. Fortunately, you have a good source of advice here for information about
    clothes, hustling, rules, and anything else you may want to know about. Good luck.
    The biggest thing is to stay away from drugs... they are omnipresent in clubs.
    BTW check the age requirements. You may not be able to dance where there's alcohol
    until you're 21. Juice bars are a different environment and usually all nude.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Lots of great advice here.

    Let me just add, I also have known very shy gals that LOVE dancing. It is like acting. They take on a very different personality and they very much enjoy being the opposite of how they think they are in real life. For some it has greatly helped emotional issues.

    On the other hand, you have to evaluate if its best for you or not and not just freak out. Fortunately there are some great gals here willing to help with the issues.
    Dave in Phoenix
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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    also sent you a pm.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and you know what you want in the end. I just started not too long ago after deciding for about a year. Just trust your instincts and remember to not let the dancing career change who you are or your lifestyle.

    Cianna

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    Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    I danced in a bikini club for over a year while I was in graduate school - it was an easy way to make money - I worked out my body while saving my mind for school. I loved feeling like I was a star, and loved having cash wherever I went. I was able to work short hours, make enough money to live and have extra time to study. I was not the type of woman who would normally work in this environment, a smart girl, good girl - so it added an entire new dimension to my personality - it made me stronger in some ways - not to take crap from anyone, and be unaffected by "male lust" instead of running away from it. I was in my mid 30s when I danced, so I may have gotten some benefits about still feeling desirable that younger girls took for granted.

    I agree with another poster that you should be careful not to get caught up in the lifestyle. I never got into drugs - but had a stripper roommate who was into cocaine and had major anger problems. A lot of the girls I worked with suffered from depression or other problems - so me who gets depressed felt like I fit right in - we encouraged each other through life and that made the environment very nurturing. We had a supportive dressing room - so I also learned about bonding with women - something I didn't have with my mother.

    I oftent thought it so funny that we were all a bunch of silly and sweet girls in the dressing room, and we were sexy vixens out on stage. Such a difference between the persona and the real girl.

    I would also suggest that because of your background - you find a club that is clean and classy. I worked at a no-contact, no lap dance club and that was fine with me. I didn't make the big bucks, but didn't have to deal with roaming hands and random penis. I always left work in a good mood, because my body was all worked out. Mentally it only messed with me twice, and then I just had to take a few days off to recover. Those were nights when other girls were making a lot more money than I was and men were being too gross.

    The thing I miss the most is my gorgeous legs and butt - that dancing gives you such an amazingly hot body!!! I am thinking of going back for just that reason. doh! Everyone thought I was in my mid twenties and I was in my mid thirties. I could do it even now - and I am almost forty!
    Last edited by beachmichelle99; 02-13-2005 at 05:28 AM. Reason: typo

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    Quote Originally Posted by beachmichelle99
    I would also suggest that because of your background - you find a club that is clean and classy. I worked at a no-contact, no lap dance club and that was fine with me. I didn't make the big bucks, but didn't have to deal with roaming hands and random penis. I always left work in a good mood, because my body was all worked out.
    Excellent advice! Clean & classy clubs usually have a better environment. Plus, making good clean money should make you feel better and do more for your self esteem. Peace of mind and well being are more important in the long run.

    Quote Originally Posted by beachmichelle99
    The thing I miss the most is my gorgeous legs and butt - that dancing gives you such an amazingly hot body!!! I am thinking of going back for just that reason. doh! Everyone thought I was in my mid twenties and I was in my mid thirties. I could do it even now - and I am almost forty!
    Just do it babe! Some girls look better when they're in their 30's than they did in their 20's. Like good wine, good women get better with time.

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    Default Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    INSURANCE!!! Watch out. I don't know what state you are in but if you have ANY health problems you want to get on a group or NOT go to get your mental issues treated until you have a policy. If you do have something like a mental disorder on your "record" (yes, I've discovered having health problems is worse than having a criminal record when it comes to getting insurance) they will blacklist you and not insure you. I have migraines and hormone problems and I can't get insurance. If you are a student though you might be able to get something through school. Now it all depends where you live. I am unfortunately learning a lot about this since I live in Florida which is NOT a guaranteed issue state and they can just flat refuse to insure me. I am not a stripper but am a contractor and I can't get insurance.

    As far as stripping and your issues about undressing in front of people, I would say it's different to undress in a strip club than just in front of someone else. I have once gotten up on stage and took my top off and had no problem with it. I'm debating (have been for a while) actually working as a dancer. The lights are very flattering in strip clubs. If you are pretty you'll look even prettier. It might actually help your self esteem in someways becuase you'll learn to take yourself less seriously. I don't know how it woulf affect your future as a medical doctor and I am wondering about that msyelf if I do it since I might go to lawschool.

    pm me if you have any more questions about insurance though. Like I said, unfortunately I've learned a lot about how difficult it is to get insurance as a contractor.

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    Re: wow i can't even believe i'm considering it

    This industry is probaly not the best choice for you. It's a lot eaiser to get sucked into all the bad aspects of this buisness if you are not very strong.

    Im not telling you not to dance because you should do what you want to.
    However, I do suggest learing a bit more about the 'unglamorous' side of dancing a whole lot more.


    I am condering doing stripping and i was just wondering what the 'unglamorous' side of dancing is and the bad asspects of the busisness is?? could you please explain a little bit to me so i can decide which club would be better to go to. I live in Australia and you get paid alot more than it seems you guys get paid...my sister is a stripper and she is working in 'club minX' in brisbane..and she normally brings home $1000-$2000 a night.... anyways so i basically just want to know the bad asspects of stripping are...please reply as soon as possible..thanks for ur time..

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