Error editing post! Your message is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 5 characters. An intercepted message.............
Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: An intercepted message.............

  1. #1
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default An intercepted message.............


    We can only take this for pulp danger it is..

    This is an actual ARCH-vllain COMMUNICATING TO HER HENCHMEN...







    Greetings fellow ArchVillians,
    We must finally admit that to date our tactics have not brought us much success. For every Diabolical plot that actually goes as planned ten are foiled by rogue do-gooders.

    We must, therefore, change our tactics. I propose a few minor things that may help a few would be world conquerors avoid the usual pitfalls and enjoy a healthy career as an ArchVillian.

    I will now make my propositions, beginning with our Secret Lairs.

    • We must no longer leave ventilation ducts unguarded. Many a fledgling Villain had met an early retirement merely by overlooking this.
    • We must stop revealing the location of our Secret Lairs to everyone we do business with. If a Hero can get your address simply by shaking down "Tony the Rat", there's something wrong.
    • We must hide our self destruct buttons better. It is a necessary evil to have one, we all know that, but do we need to put a neon sign over it saying "SELF DESTRUCT"? My suggestion is to mark it "Michael Bolton album dispenser", no one will ever touch it then.
    • We must always keep a second secret Lair. Many Villains could have avoided a lot of trouble just by having a second Lair about.
    Thus concludes my proposition to you concerning our Secret Lairs, i will now continue concerning our Henchmen.

    • We really must train our Henchmen to shoot better. I realize classes are expensive, but think of what we could accomplish if our Henchmen could actually hit the good guys?
    • We definitely need to start picking better Thugs. It seems to not matter who we send a Thug out after, or how big our Attacker is, he comes home crying like a little girl! We must look up Steven Segall's martial art's school!
    • We must take off more clothes! Yes, you read it right. Take off more clothes. Hero's seem to have learned a secret method of avoiding bullets simply by removing clothing. We must learn this skill, it seems that our armored Henchmen die with one gunshot while a single hero who removes his shirt can destroy the entire soviet army in 90 minutes. This effect is apparently triples for female heroes, i'm told!
    I realize my propositions are controversial, fellow ArchVillians, yet i ask you to hear me out. My final thoughts concern our own behavior. Yes, I'm afraid we must change as well...

    • We must resist the urge to brag. I know it's hard to resist telling the hero your Diabolical plot when he's helpless but, take it from me, helpless Hero's... aren't. If you really, really, really can't resist, then at least make sure the Hero is sufficiently trapped (say, in a tank of sharks), and make sure and have someone wait around until the bitter end.
    • We really must stop leaving the good guys unattended. Unattended Heroes get up to no good.
    • We must stop doing things like waiting three weeks to marry the captive princess on the night of skulls, marry her now! If you give the Hero three whole weeks, who knows what he'll come up with!
    Well, my fellow would-be Tyrants? What say you to these changes that could lead us to Victory?



    Sincerely,

    Dr. Destruction

    Brotherhood of Intercosmic ArchVillians,

    Local Union #13,428


    My fellow ArchVillians,

    I think the Doc's been drinking again.
    Take Care

    Evil Steve from planet-X

    Brotherhood of intercosmic ArchVillians.

    Local Union #234,759

  2. #2
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    *shiver*

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Uh... Okay?

  4. #4
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    5,493
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 50 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............


  5. #5
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    *scratches myself*


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  6. #6
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    WTF is this?


  7. #7
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Good question.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Yeah.. is this a comic club joke or are they really living in Tyrant land? Scary!


  9. #9
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,206
    Thanks
    113
    Thanked 49 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Thats actually some funny shit. I like comics.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

  10. #10
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Madcap, your dorkiness is so fucking sexy..........

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  11. #11
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Quote Originally Posted by Yea
    Yeah.. is this a comic club joke or are they really living in Tyrant land? Scary!
    ROFL! Tyrant land. hehe.

    Yes, it was a joke. Something i had written years ago for a website i was making (way back when i still used frontpage for that stuff). I came across the URL for the site in a text file while cleaning out my junk drive and kind of giggled at myself on reading it. Thought i'd share... hehe... Honestly, i had forgotten all about it until a couple days ago.

    As i recall, some of it isn't original either. It's a mixture of what i remembered of something i had read (for the life of me i can't recall what, i think it had something to do with Austin Powers though) and stuff i have goofed on about action movies since i was a kid. So, not all the dorkiness ( Kat) is mine, alas...

  12. #12
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    On board the Kobayashi Maru
    Posts
    2,387
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    On a similar note:


    When I Become the Evil Overlord...
    author unknown





    • Shooting will NOT be too good for my enemies.
    • My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
    • My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
    • My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped, will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
    • The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
    • I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
    • When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."
    • When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll shoot him, and then say "No".
    • After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
    • I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push".
    • I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
    • I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
    • I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
    • I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident: I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
    • I will make it clear that I DO know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.
    • One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
    • All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
    • My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.
    • The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
    • I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
    • I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
    • I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
    • When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  13. #13
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    LMAO! A slew of cartoon villains just scampered through my head as I read that.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap
    ROFL! Tyrant land. hehe.
    I was really scared ! ! I thought the Tyrants were comming to get us all .


  15. #15
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Quote Originally Posted by Yea
    I was really scared ! ! I thought the Tyrants were comming to get us all .
    That depends, have a tank of electric eels handy?

  16. #16
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Y'know, i have some Heroes to, like, vanquish and stuff...

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    LOL MAdcap.. I DO! How did you know?


  18. #18
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesen to them.... The cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeldren of the night....



    What beautiful nusic they make......


    \/---\/

  19. #19
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Madcap HELP ! ! What should I do?? The Head Tyrant eel want's to be my Valentine


  20. #20
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    That depends...

    Does he want to dismember you and put you back together as a Bride for his previous creation?

  21. #21
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    It was fun untill you mentioned dismembering ! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww

    But his electric ways had me thinking for a minute .




  22. #22
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Wait till you meet your hubby...

    At least with Count Dracula you don't have to worry about stitches ripping...


    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww....
    Last edited by Madcap; 02-15-2005 at 04:02 AM.

  23. #23
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Monkey Land
    Posts
    4,794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    You're not right.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  24. #24
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,103
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: An intercepted message.............

    Must hold back.... must not attack sexy dork who likes comic books....
    (and I use the term "dork" in the most loving way possible!!! )

    Mad... your damn sexy!


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



Similar Threads

  1. New message on AW
    By Missymissdemeanour in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-12-2011, 03:40 AM
  2. Anyone else getting this message?!
    By Kylea2 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-14-2009, 11:08 PM
  3. Voicemail Message???
    By GoldCoastGirl in forum Private Party Dancing
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-30-2005, 05:43 PM
  4. A message to all on SW
    By GoldCoastGirl in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-03-2005, 07:20 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •