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Thread: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

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    Newbie rdknite13's Avatar
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    Default What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    I am in a bit of a dilemma with my girlfriend whom is a dancer. She is only doing this temporarly, money for medical bills. She wants to do modeling full time, non-nude, not too racey. She has done some work and was a cheerleader for a NFL team. She came to me and asked me to help her with this career. Doing research, helping her find jobs and a reputable agency. She saw I was upset by this and said she thought I would be happy and supportive of her and that I would want to see her out of the club as soon as poosible. It did upset me a bit, honestly I am afraid of losing her to someone else or to the job itself. I do feel deep down I am being damn selfish feeling this way. I do love her and care about her. I do want to see her happy. I know the right thing to do is to help her as much as I can.

    Aside from I guess needing a kick in the butt from everyone who dances on what the right thing to do is here I have several questions. First I was wondering what are everyones opinions of Maxium Magazine or FHM? As in do they fall under the not too racey catagory. Second, I know of one that is taking pictures for a contest, a 'hottie next door' type of thing. Do I go ahead and tell, help her get the pictures she needs to submit, help her with all the forms or do I bypass this for now and look for something that may not be so border line racey? I think I know what the answer is, I guess I just would like to hear it from some other women in or retired from the business.

    I guess I am a bit on the defensive about this because honestly, I feel like I would be 'sharing' her with guys who would be spanking the monkey to her pictures. I guess I am in that mode cause she asks me to come to the club when she dances, she feels safer with me there and I am getting tired of getting on guys when they take out their camera phones and try to sneak pictures of her on the stage. The club does not allow them in there but they can't police every guy who comes in.

    Feel free to give me a verbal kick in the butt if any of you wish, it is ok with me.

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    Member Nurse Betty's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Oh rdknite... you're asking a pack of strippers whether the images in Maxim magazine are a little too 'racy'. That is SO unbelievabley adorable! I mean, I feel as though my fourteen year old cousin's just asked me if Jesus will send her to hell because kissing her boyfriend sometimes makes her feel funny 'down there'.

    Maxim and FHM are tepid, especially by today's standards. Remember that viewers will only be jerking off to her image. Her airbrushed, made over, digitally remastered image. The lady herself is yours, her eyes and tits, her skin, her scent, the warmth she exudes, her voice, heart, sense of humor, preferences, fears, and hopes. All that these other guys you're 'sharing' her with get is a collection of pixels. Don't be jealous of that, seems to me you get the better end of the deal.

    Kisses!
    Nurse Betty

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    I agree... I even read Maxim magazine (they also own Stuff magazine.) Fhm, Maxim and stuff are really not racy at all. If you haven't checked them out, I definitely recommend it. I don't thin k anyone would look down on your girlfriend for those magazine, they aren't even close to being nude.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Newbie rdknite13's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    PS: I am asking this question to dancers because I trust your opinions. I know I will get honest, open minded opinions on this. As opposed to the narrow minded ones I have gotten from my non-dancer friends. Mostly the usual crap about dating a dancer and the comments ending up being, she will end up doing porn movies, that is all she can probably do.

    I have always recieved positive, helpful replies to other postings so I know I can post this question here and I will recieve the same quality, insightful opinions and points of view from everyone who reads my posting and choose's to reply. Thanks.

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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    K, not to sound mean, but you seem a little insecure. "...honestly I am afraid of losing her to someone else or to the job itself." Get over it dude, be happy she can make money with her looks and is coming home to you. That attitude is probably the biggest obstacle to dancers having relationships. I'm glad I finally found a guy who's secure enough with himself to not let my job affect our relationship.

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Man I must dance for 20-40ish guys a night... working 4 nights a week... 4 weeks/month 12 months / year.....


    DO YOU know how many guys that is?! Im married and trust me if i wanted one of those guys I could of had them EASILY! ive been married for 3 *almost 4* years dancing for 2 and honestly guys there are money.. thats all..

    maybe even friends but crossing that line... nah i dont think so.. the drama of a one night stand isnt worth my time..

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    Senior Member Miss_Sierra's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    rdknite, you need to stop being insecure here! Your girl is making the money to pay off her bills and she is going home to YOU.
    Oh, what Nurse Betty said about Maxim and FHM. I agree! The image of her will be airbrushed, made over, digitally remastered...you get it, it won't be "really" her that will be shown in the magazines. The girl you have is real.

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    Newbie rdknite13's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    All very true. I do need to get over the insecurity issue. Thanks for the kick in the butt. Seriously.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Okay, you need to get over the insecurity thing, but I think you have a couple other issues too.

    Her work is her work. Would you go hang out at her work if she were a waitress or a secretary? Bouncers are there to keep her safe, and she is responsible for making sure that she works in a place where her safety is a priority.

    Yes you should be supportive and pass on any information that you have to her, and talk to her honestly about your opinions and stuff. But the decisions are hers, and there's no reason for you to be stressing over them.

    Lena



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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Quote Originally Posted by rdknite13
    All very true. I do need to get over the insecurity issue. Thanks for the kick in the butt. Seriously.
    Here's a trick to getting over the insecurity thing.

    Recognize that everything she does in the club is acting. When she's on stage or in VIP, it's "lights, camera, action." It isn't real. Not by a long shot. She takes her clothes off because it's in the script. It doesn't involve any kind of emotional connection at all, and is not even in the same league with what she's got with you.

    If you learn a little about the business, you can chat with her throughout the night by cell and see how she's doing and give her emotional support. Make her laugh. Learn how to give backrubs and footrubs and draw hot baths.

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nurse Betty
    I feel as though my fourteen year old cousin's just asked me if Jesus will send her to hell because kissing her boyfriend sometimes makes her feel funny 'down there'.
    Don't tell her, but according to a fair fraction of the US population, your cousin is toast! LOL..maybe.

    Remember that viewers will only be jerking off to her image. Her airbrushed, made over, digitally remastered image. The lady herself is yours, her eyes and tits, her skin, her scent, the warmth she exudes, her voice, heart, sense of humor, preferences, fears, and hopes. All that these other guys you're 'sharing' her with get is a collection of pixels. Don't be jealous of that, seems to me you get the better end of the deal.
    Very wise advice, imo...and not joking this time.

    Re all of this "get over the insecurity" advice, that is exactly right of course, but I think that it is also worth noting 1) that rdknite is already well ahead of the game in that he realizes that he has feelings of insecurity while a lot of jealousy is driven by insecurities which people deny or do not perceive in themselves and 2) that it is one hell of a lot easier to say "stop being insecure" than it is for someone to do it by sheer force of will power. Basically it is telling someone to change their personality, and giving them encouragement and a perspective (such as that described by Nurse B in the above quote) which might help is a lot more likely to be effective than simply telling them to do it.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Really, FHM, and Maxim are pretty tame. If the guys are gonna whack off, they'll throw aside those magazines and pick up a Hustler, or look at CumGuzzlingSlutz.com. Sorry to be graphic, but it's the truth.

    As far as going to work with her and hanging out there, you can give yourself a big giant pat on the back for being able to handle it--because most guys can't. The ones that can are usually worthless dogs who are trying to pick up the other dancers.

    Hell, I know a fucking DJ who freaked out totally when he saw 'his girl' on stage one night, and caused a scene, and she wasn't even doing lap dances. They were forbidden to work in the same (sister) clubs on the same nights after that. She worked in the same club I did for a while, and in spite of all my reassurance that I was taking very good care of her and watching out for her, and her vow to only do table dances, he was still freaked out about it.

    I myself, who thought I was immune to jealousy with the lap dancing thing, had a little trouble with it when I really fell in love--suddenly I wasn't so comfortable with the idea. Well, I got over that, if sending her over to a guy who looked like he liked her, and playing her the sexiest songs I had for the VIPs she did was any indication. I don't work with her now, much as I would love to (it's a long story, but circumstances make this difficult), but it is a rare couple that can do this shit together. This is especially true if the guy is not working, but sitting around and watching, as you did.

    So you are more secure than you realize. Also, don't think you are weak or wrong for feeling some jealousy, in spite of what a few free spirits will tell you. It's only human to react unpleasantly to the idea of the woman you love grinding her crotch into another man's--and most guys can't deal with it at all.

    Most women couldn't deal with their man stripping either, though this naturally comes easier if they are in the business as well.

    The thing to remember is that it means nothing to her, it is an act to get the customers' money, and nothing more. I would be very careful about going in to work with her, even if she likes it. Go in at the end of the night, and let her call you, etc.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Ok, maybe I was a little harsh/unrealistic, I apologize. I've just been seeing the other side of it for so long, that it upsets me because I have been with so many guys unable to deal with what I do, and quite honestly, I can't imagine being jealous if the tables were turned, probably because of how long I've been doing this. Regardless, good luck to you and your girlfriend. I hope you find peace with whatever decision she makes.

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    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    I actually think FHM and Maxim are pretty trendy! For guys, that is.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    FHM, Maxim and Stunn like mags. are not "wack off" material. If it is, i would think a very young man would be happy with these. Gee, i see Sears collection in the paper with women and bras and panties...Not too shabby.

    Also, keep in mind pictures...Are just that.

    A better picture... guys could pass her on the street and get a "woody" go home think about her and rub one off. It's just that easy. Don't worry, the mags. you speak of are very very tame, check out Cosmo. for racier pictures, they actually have breasts out once in a while. Why not support her, accept her for who she is, and let her get past this stage. She will.

    Pamela

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    I am going to give you some slightly different advice bro. Having a bunch of very hot women telling you don't be insecure, well its kind of like having a rich person telling you don't be cheap. It is easy to say cause they aren't you. You know what the trick is to getting over insecurity man? Accept it, revel in it if you have to, be honest with yourself bro and how you really feel. Feelings only seem scary and insurmountable when we try to pretend we don't have them. In the end though man you are you and your woman is going to do whatever the fuck she wants. Don't make your happiness dependent on what she does or doesn't do. If she is going to betray you she is going to do it and there is nothing you can do to stop it. But if you loves you man and she is going to treat you right there is nothing you can do to stop that either, except for not trust her. So trust her, not because she won't hurt you (she might) but because you love her enough to take the risk that she won't. Regardless of what happens, your happiness is up to you and not up to her.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela
    FHM, Maxim and Stunn like mags. are not "wack off" material.

    Pamela
    I'd wack off to either of those if I was in the mood. Sexy has nothing to do with how much skin is showing.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Maxim and FHM???? Sheesh, I have a subscription to both them and Playboy and Penthouse, sorry, but BIG difference!
    If you're going to wack off to them , then get the Sunday paper, it's cheaper.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  19. #19
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Okay, I give. You are a superior person to me because you wack off to ?better? magazines.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    To each their own...

    gypsy_girlchild is a real sweetheart, xdamage, she's just ribbing you a bit.

    But getting back to the subject:

    "In the end though man you are you and your woman is going to do whatever the fuck she wants. Don't make your happiness dependent on what she does or doesn't do."

    This is excellent advice, BTW. Now put down that Sears catalogue!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the right thing to do in a relationship with an entertainer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    To each their own...

    gypsy_girlchild is a real sweetheart, xdamage, she's just ribbing you a bit.
    Cools

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