Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: friends and family?

  1. #1
    Member Petals's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default friends and family?

    Hi, first I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to share their experiences and ideas on this board. I've been seriously thinking about dancing for a while now and tonight (Valentine's Day - ha!) aftert some reasearch I went to a club all on my own to check it out and talk to some of the girls. I ended up being offered a job; I still have to audition but the manager said it was a formality and that unless I'm an abnormally bad dancer there would be no problem. I'm pretty excited; I think I can do this, and I KNOW I need the money, but I'm nervous about what some of my friends and *gulp* my family will think. I've always been the 'smart girl' so the few people I've talked to about it have had the stereotypical comments about self-respect and intelligence and bla bla bla. For myself, I believe that if there are guys out there willing to pay me for it, there's no reason in hell why I shouldn't exploit the opportunity. I know I'll respect myself in the morning. Anyway, I guess my question is, how did you deal (if at all) with the issue of unsupportive loved ones when you got started? Any tips on how to get them to think differently about stripping? Or how to not think less of me just because of stripping? And, while I'm posting, what do you think about 'Adrienne' for a stage name? I have no idea if there's a strategy to choosing those things or what . Thanks all! ~Petals

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    Hi Petals,

    Congratulations on the club!

    Telling people in your life about this will vary from person to person but for me, most people don’t know. I did tell my mom though, I HAD TO! I couldn’t lie to her face! I felt terrible, and to be honest I felt even worse when I first told her. You should have seen the look in her eyes, she hated herself for it, like she didn’t do well enough to take better care of me. She felt it was her fault I HAD to do this..

    Anyway, I wanted to make her feel better, expressed my joy in dancing and ended up taking her to my club (I don’t know anyone else who has done this lol). Mind you, the club was THE BEST in the City, the owner and his family treated me amazing and made my mom really welcome, the whole thing was really pleasant!! My mom’s not Happy I do this, but she knows I’m smart, safe, and making my own choices. My aunt also knows BUT no one else in my family does.

    Boyfiend/s:
    aawwww.... this is just too long of a topic for me right now.

    School friends:
    I was in school when I first started, none of my friends knew, I didn’t want the entire campus pointing at me “she’s a stripper” Not that I care but it’s simply none of anyone’s business how I pay MY bills.

    Best Friends:
    I had a couple of episodes here. Some people were cool, some were not, and one Never Talked to me again! People said stuff I’m sure but I don’t care if their that judgmental and living in a bubble.

    Day Job:
    NO ONE KNOWS ! ! ! SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG ! ! LOL


    People I just meet, I don’t tell them.

    For me personally, this is my business and no one else’s, unless your involved with me emotionally or financially what do you care how I make my living.


    'Adrienne' very cute


  3. #3
    Member Petals's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    Thank you, that's a good way of looking at it . . . it ISNT anyone else's business. And I'm lucky in that my mom is probably the one person who I know WILL be supportive . . . wierd, huh? It's my dad that will probably be crushed . . . maybe he doens't need to know, but he works in the area, and his business friends take him to clubs once in a while . . . I can see a potentially traumatizing experience there for both of us! Yeah, I'm pretty much just determined not to let anyone get me down about it, so now that I've covered that, I get to move on to being nervous about my first day ;-) ~Petals

  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    Dancers are viewed as stereotypes, and you will not necessarily be judged as yourself. Some people will sneer, make moral judgements, etc., based on that "stripper stereotype". I'd guess that pretty well every dancer is hurt/offended at intervals by crass comments.

    Being a dancer also makes you an irresistable magnet for very intrusive questions such as "do you enjoy it/get turned on", "what was it like the first time you stripped", etc.

    I'm not a dancer, and thus my experience can only be indirect, but pretty well every dancer I know is very selective about who they tell. This cuts down on both the number of people wanting to make moral judgements and ask intrusive questions.

    The other thing you'll have to consider is how much trust you can place in the people you decide to tell - if they are indiscrete then more people than you wish could become aware of how you are earning your living.

    At the risk of giving advice on something I'm only on the periphery of; I'd take my time in deciding who to tell. After all you can always tell someone in a week's time, but you can't "un-tell" someone once you've let them know.

    I personally have never had the slightest problem with the fact that someone is a dancer, (good luck to you), but not everyone will have that point of view. Better to be discrete than sorry.

    Phil W.

  5. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    My friends were cool with it but I was always "the stripper" friend and that sucked after while.
    I say keep your business quiet I think its the best way. Or, if you like to tell anyone it might be harder than you think to change their minds. Dont even try unless they ask.

    Gosh, I hope you respect yourself in the morning cuz if you dont forget about everything else...and of course as you saw its not like your having sex with anyone. Your just rubbing your naked body on their clothed body.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  6. #6
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Cocoa Beach, FL
    Posts
    10,220
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 52 Times in 37 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    A lot of my family doesnt speak to me for various reasons (sexuality being the big one) but the fact that I dance and such is part of it. I do, however, have some relatives who are very supportive. Hell, I had an aunt come to an amateur night I did years back!

    It's hard to suggest what to do. Each relative, hell... each human being is so different. How they react, how they feel about the subject is so individual. I could suggest maybe bringing up the subject of strippers or strip clubs somehow in a conversation and studying their reaction(s) to it when it's just a random subject. Maybe from there decide how you want to tell them, if at all.

    Sometimes you just shouldnt tell. Sometimes there are just some people that are better off not knowing.

    A very hard subject to give advice on.

    If you feel that they NEED to know and you can't just not tell them... I dunno. I would say that you should tell them that you are still you and you haven't changed and that you still deserve the same love/respect/like/etc that you've been getting all along. Being a dancer doesnt = becoming a horrid person suddenly and they need to know that. Promise them that you wont become what the stereotypes show. Druggie, whore, etc....

    One of my most used lines is "Cabaret and strip tease is an old art and the fact that it isnt as respected anymore is a shame, but it's an art I respect and want to try."
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  7. #7
    Member Petals's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter

    "Cabaret and strip tease is an old art and the fact that it isnt as respected anymore is a shame, but it's an art I respect and want to try."
    That is a great line, and true . . . I'm sure I'll be using that. Thanks Paige!

  8. #8
    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    state and main
    Posts
    1,071
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    My mom's in denial. My friends don't care. No one else knows. Except you guys. Obviously.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member ksalerio's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    MI
    Posts
    613
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: friends and family?

    i just told my family i hostess at a club. I think they know but they dont ask and i dont tell. They are prob happy cuz i pay my own tuition now. lol. i told my firends they are cool with it. They are jealous i make what they make in a week in one night!! My boyfriend knows and doesnt care. Good luck hun

Similar Threads

  1. escorts: what do you tell your family/friends?
    By Slutdust in forum Other Work
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-29-2011, 05:34 PM
  2. What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?
    By Vixen608 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 04-24-2006, 03:46 PM
  3. How are you perceived by family and friends?
    By liyah in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-17-2006, 05:35 PM
  4. How do you tell your friends and family?
    By Chad in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-31-2005, 09:50 PM
  5. Here's what you tell your family and friends
    By Djoser in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-26-2003, 09:43 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •