Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 35

Thread: How to keep a regular??!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    254
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    How to keep a regular??!

    Hi!
    I had this regular customer who came in to see me once a week and dropped 300$ on me everytime. He was a lawyer and we had lots to talk about and I truly enjoyed his company. In an effort to keep him coming I went for a drink with him once, where he tried to kiss me... needless to say I denied him the pleasure. And we went to the ballet another time. That last time was weird because I was falling in love with a guy and my head was up in the clouds and I had trouble talking to him without mentionning to him the reason for this euphoric state.

    But I think he noticed... I wrote him an e-mail while he was away on buisiness and he never visited me again!! I wrote another e-mail asking him what was up with him and he told me I had insulted him and no longer wanted to see me!!

    I dont think I said anything that could've been offensive to him; maybe " take care or yourself, get a massage while you're in Taiwan, I hear Taiwanese ladies give nice ones!" So now he hates me, I lost someone who I truly enjoyed, and not to mention 300$ a week!

    This is so touchy!! How do you keep a regular customer coming for more without being a total money-hound?? Help! I want to avoid going through this again!
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

  2. #2
    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    797
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Easy. keep it in the club. Once you changed the environment and gave him what he wanted, he was no longer interested in you.
    AmyLynne

  3. #3
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    1,295
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Exactly. Keep it in the club. You can occasionally find those that only want to help you. I myself still have a customer from dancing last October, and hes given me at least $400 every month since I quit dancing, gift cards, a 52 inch high def tv, a puppy for Christmas, the list goes on. But he knows I am married and have a daughter. I would say just keep your regulars in the club. And always leave them wanting more.

  4. #4
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posts
    2,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 65 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I agree with the above. Even though many guys give business cards, phone numbers, etc. to dancers in the club, I think it's bad advice to ever call or make contact outside the club. When the customer is in the club, he's there to see you. When he's outside the club, he's outside the environment that is his comfort zone when he's there and by contacting him, you are sort-of violating that comfort zone. In addition, for all you know his wife may pick up the phone and here you are, some exotic dancer giving her husband a call. She just went from Mrs. "I'm comfortable with my husband going to the clubs once in a while" to Mrs. "Why is this bitch calling you at your office number? Are you cheating on me?" Keep in mind that many people list their cell phones as office numbers nowadays as so many people run small businesses from their homes. Personally, I think I'm probably the only guy in the world who has a wife who totally understands it when dancers call him on his cell.

    Now, as to your original question and the subject of your post, how do I keep a regular? Here's a good system. Let's say you just whisked some guy off to the VIP room for a while. You're getting to know him a bit and he says he comes by the club rarely, or perhaps it's his first time, or even 20th time. You want to leave a positive impact on him for the next time he returns. This doesn't mean chasing him down via email or phone calls. What I mean is you need to plant the seed for him so that when he returns, he'll seek you out instead of just being happy with which ever dancer just happens to come along. SO, if you get the feeling he's leaving after you are done spending time with him, plan the seed.

    Just say, "I have had a wonderful time with you tonight (complements always work) and I would very much like to see you again the next time. You had fun tonight, right? (wait for positive response which you KNOW he will give you). Since I've gotten to know you a bit tonight I can tell you the next time you see me, I'll be much more comfortable and will give you the most incredible personal attention and dances you ever could have imagined. Just ask for me, (insert name here), and I'll look forward to seeing you too."

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  5. #5
    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    797
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    dancerwealth I agree with you but I think it changes her environment not his. It creates the possibility that suddenly she is vulnerable and that she also is more apt to do something that crosses the line beteween being a dancer and escort.

    it also gives him what he wants. The thrill of having a girl meet him outside the club and once that happens he will lose interest or he will pursue it into some sort of relationship that will more than likely go astray.
    AmyLynne

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    If you do meet someone outside a club, make sure they know what the ground rules are first. It sounds like this guy thought he was in with a chance when he tried to kiss you. If he took you out for a drink thinking then something more was on the cards, then naturally he feel let down. "He told me I had insulted him and no longer wanted to see me!!"

    If he meets you OTC with the clear understanding that the meeting is friendly only, with nothing else on the agenda, then he should have no complaints when he's not allowed to kiss you, (and if he knows things are friendly only, should not be trying to kiss you anyway).

    It's easy to issue hard and fast pronouncements like, "don't meet a guy outside of the club", but it's sometimes not that simple. Firstly, it sounds like there was a degree of affection between you, "I truly enjoyed his company", and secondly, it sounds like you complicated the relationship; "in an effort to keep him coming", you agreed to meet him OTC. If you suggested it, he may have felt encouraged to think you wanted more than just a friendly evening.

    Your problem may originated from a mismatch of expectations. You go to meet him, thinking things are just to be friendly. He goes to meet you thinking 'romance' is in the offing. You ended up upset with each other because you were pursuing different objectives. If the ground rules had clearly been laid down first, "friendly only", then maybe you'd still be on good terms.

    It's probably better to keep things inside the club, but should you, (for whatever reason), feel the need to meet someone OTC and keep it friendly, then there was a very good suggestion in another thread. Tell the guy that you really like him, but that you've just broken up with a long term SO and you just can't contemplate another relationship for several months. This both explains to the guy why the meeting is friendly only, and removes the jealousy motive.

    Phil W.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    254
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Thats really good advice Phil, because things arent always so black and white; the customer will want to see you outside the club and always saying that you only want to see him inside the club feels like it's saying "I just want your money!" I dont like lying to people, and I want to run my buisiness that way because what goes around comes around.
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

  8. #8
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    2,451
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 601 Times in 233 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by amylynnej
    Easy. keep it in the club. Once you changed the environment and gave him what he wanted, he was no longer interested in you.
    I understand the logic behind "keep it in the club," believe me. But my own experience has just been so radically different.

    OTC can sometimes be where the real money begins. I don't necessarily mean shopping or travel or gifts, although those are part of the equation. I mean money inthe club rises. After all, you are far more likely to make the effort to drop by to see a friend. Many dancers know this, which is why they initiate OTC activity.

    Of course, this onlyworks with shared expectations and limits, as appropriate. It only works with regulars who know the rules. This is where the disappointed lawyer story went awry, it seems.
    Last edited by All Good Things; 02-19-2005 at 10:49 AM.

  9. #9
    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Most of the time in N. America, Asia, Europe or Australia
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    My experiences agree with those of TOO, fwiiw.

    I think that "keep it in the club" is not bad advice, in that it is a "sensible and safe" policy, but in many cases it will not allow you to meet the goal stated in this thread's title. In other words, in a lot of cases you can only "keep a regular" (at least for a much longer period) by spending some OTC time with him. That, of course, involves additional risks, complications and work, but some dancers find ways of dealing with the issues and thereby profit greatly.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

  10. #10
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2002
    Location
    ...hehehe... email me to ask me where i am ! (i dare you!)
    Posts
    11,486
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked 127 Times in 51 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    As well as all the above great advice, suggestions and so forth.... remember: no every regular is forever. Every relationship will come to an end eventually - be it one month, half a year or 2 years later... that "relationship" between you and that regular will come to pass.

    Whether he does or does not still frequent the club. If you know this, then "loosing" a regular won't be such a big deal (as it seems you are making). That relationship ended, now concentrate on making new ones.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  11. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I think there are varying forms of OTC relationships. The main ones are:

    (a) Commercially sexual in nature in that the dancer is paid for sexual services as an extension of what she does inside the club.

    (b) Sexual in that the dancer meets someone she seriously likes, and the relationship moves outside of the club, eventually becoming a fully blown bf/gf situation.

    (c) Purely friendly, where dancer and customer strike up a friendship and agree to meet OTC on those grounds.

    (d) Erotic overtones, in that a dancer meets a customer outside the club, and that customer is willing to keep spending money in return for 'personal' nudity - i.e. buying expensive underwear for a dancer in return for seeing her try it on.

    (e) Altruistic, where a regular spends money on a dancer because he gets an emotional return from it. The regular obviously is content with the relationship being purely friendly.

    (d) and (e) appear to be the more frequent ones, with some (c) thrown in for luck.

    If I read Celesete25 right, she'd basically be happy with (d) or (e) with elements of (c) included so that the customer/regular didn't feel she was saying "I just want your money!"

    I've personally wound up with the (c) option. I value the friendships and there is genuine affection on both sides.

    A couple of cautionary tales:

    One very money orientated dancer I know of started out taking the 'erotic overones' option, then found that the 'commercially sexual' option was financially very rewarding. She now finds it virtually impossible to relate to any bloke, even ones that never go into SC's, except in terms of what they are financially worth to her.

    Another dancer I know found one regular of hers was besotted with her. She made it clear that she'd accept a purely friendly OTC relationship. The guy started to buy her increasingly expensive presents, which she thought were on altruistic grounds. She emphasised to him at intervals that she appreciated the gifts, but that she had no intention of anything other than a friendly relationship.

    The guy eventually got very nasty on the grounds that he'd spent a lot of money on her, without any "return" for him, at least in his terms. He now turns up on occasion at venues she works, manifestly spends lots of money on other dancers, and glares in her direction. In short, despite the dancer making it clear it was "friends only", this guy feels short changed, and is now trying to make life uncomfortable for her.

    As TOO says, OTC relationships only work when both sides know the rules and have shared expectations and limits.

    Phil W.
    Last edited by Phil-W; 02-19-2005 at 04:07 AM.

  12. #12
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    i always make up stuff so that it seems like i have no time to meet up otc. i do give out the club's # so they can find out when i'm gonna be there.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

  13. #13
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Va mostly
    Posts
    2,750
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 52 Times in 41 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Also, I don't think anyone has written it, if they have SORRY!!!
    Don't give out info on yourself to dancers. If you give the idea that you aren't dating anyone then keep it that way (the illusion, I mean.)
    Dancers will hone in on your regular when you aren't there and a few will gladly let a customer know all they want about you... This WILL hurt your business if a customer was hoping that you were available. Of course it's all fantasy, but most customers want it to stay that way so when they find out something they don't like they tend to let you go.
    Then again, some dancers will make up stories about you to win over the customer. I haven't figured it out yet, but if we could tactfully ask what was said about us without seeming catty, that would be great.
    I've been lucky and a few have told me what dancers have said (quite a few lies, I might add,) but then some customers clam up and let you go.
    So, love the ones you have and let them know they matter to you and hopefully they'll enjoy your company for a while.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  14. #14
    Newbie Nikki Roberts's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    well I have found in the 9 years I have danced that regulars are a waste of time and money. I'm there to do a job not make friends or chat so I keep it that way. Lite conversation is fine but any personal info is crossing the line. I will give a customer 10 minutes to chat if there has been no dance at this point off to the next.

    at one time I did have a large amount of regulars that I spent alot of time with.(always kept it in the club) The same thing would happen everytime. starts out they spend money on you then lil by lil they talk more spend less. yet they always assume you will spend time with them when they come in. they start to think we are friends and that they dont need to pay for the friendship.

    If a guy comes in and likes me he will keep comin back to see me but as a dancer not a friend.

  15. #15
    Member NuttinbutLegs's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    60
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I'm having the exact same problem... I'm in the middle of it I should say. There's this guy that comes in from Chicago once or twice a month. He usually spends a total of about 500 bucks everytime I see him and I see him like 2-3 times everytime he flies in. Anyway, I'd given him my email so we've been emailing frequently. I really like hanging out with this guy at the club because he's the perfect regular. He's not touchy, we have good conversation, and he pays me well. Well, lately he's kept asking me to go to lunch with him just as friends. I've been very clear during our entire relationship that nothiing is ever going to come of us... no dating or sexual relationship. All of a sudden today I get an email about how this isn't working, he can't stop thinking about me, so he's gonna start to lessen his visits to get me out of his head all because I said no to lunch again.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    254
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    By the way, I bumped into my EX-regular yesterday on the street. There was no way to avoid him so I said hello, he still seemed pissed off but he was polite... but I could see the resentment in his eyes!!! So i just kept my good mood was polite and went on my way, but it makes me cringe just to think of his face!!
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

  17. #17
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    There's really only one way to keep a regular - you have to find out what he wants and give it to him regularly. Which means, of course, that you can't keep some regulars for very long because you won't be willing to give them what they want. Each customer is looking for someting different. If you want to keep regulars for a long time, you have to find ones who are looking for what you are willing to provide, whatever that is.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  18. #18
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    49
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    For some reason I make almost 90% of my money on regulars, maybe even more. I am one of those girls who have a bunch of regulars, enough that they usually fill up the majority of my shift so I don't have time to dance for anyone else. I never actively tried to make it that way, it just happened. Actually, it's a bit of a mystery to me. I think they must be bored, I only do so much, haven't they seen these moves now 1000 times? It's very strange when they keep coming to see you even though the thrill must be long gone... (Also, I should clarify - some of my regulars come in once a week, some once every six months - so it's not the same guys every shift, it's a pool of rotating men, that must be over one hundred, I've never bothered to count)
    Anyway, as to your question. I have been in your stilletto shoes. I have made the mistake of meeting a long-time regular outside of the club once or twice (one guy for his birthday since he had no friends/family, I felt bad and believe it or not, I paid for the meal, just to prove this was a gift, not a date), and the second one, basically sometime near Christmas, since again he had no one. He paid for that meal. Anyway, in both cases it ended up raising thier expectations and eventually causing them to manufacture some drama that they could react to and then not see me anymore... whatever. I just sat patiently outside it all observing the drama and thinking to myself "well that was stupid, I should never have gone out with them, there goes that $250 a week I used to count on." Anyway, I lost them, but I probably would have anyway. Regulars come and go. But, sadly, they are just as replacable as they think dancers are. In fact, more so, because there is always a hungry customer, and there may be many girls to choose from, but very few who give them that zing or personal touch that made them become your regular (and no, I don't mean extras or mileage, I just mean your personality). Ultimately, there is only one you. And that one you is available only inside of the club. No exceptions. If you tell them this is an unbreakable rule you have adopted in order to survive in this industry and you will not stray from it at all, they will usually stop pestering you about it. Eventually you may lose them, but it's really thier loss most of the time. And at least you're spared the drama of thier passion play - a play whose script they wrote long before they met you, they just cast you in the role.
    BTW, can someone tell me how to do spellcheck up in this mofo?

  19. #19
    Veteran Member monicabi's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    mid west
    Posts
    233
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 45 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by NuttinbutLegs
    I'm having the exact same problem... I'm in the middle of it I should say. There's this guy that comes in from Chicago once or twice a month. He usually spends a total of about 500 bucks everytime I see him and I see him like 2-3 times everytime he flies in. Anyway, I'd given him my email so we've been emailing frequently. I really like hanging out with this guy at the club because he's the perfect regular. He's not touchy, we have good conversation, and he pays me well. Well, lately he's kept asking me to go to lunch with him just as friends. I've been very clear during our entire relationship that nothiing is ever going to come of us... no dating or sexual relationship. All of a sudden today I get an email about how this isn't working, he can't stop thinking about me, so he's gonna start to lessen his visits to get me out of his head all because I said no to lunch again.
    abviosly, he started blackmail you
    Last edited by monicabi; 03-20-2005 at 09:06 PM.

  20. #20
    Senior Member ivy44's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East coast
    Posts
    102
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Ive noticed the regulars who were married were more interested in personality. They would just want to go to the club in order to "get away from it all", and thats it. They would get mulitple CP rooms, depending on who it is, they wont even want you to dance 4 him. They would just want to sit and talk. (SO SIMPLE) So, because they were already infatuated by your personality, why would they want to move on with other girls? Rather single guys are "usually" all about the girls physical appearance. Not only that, they always try to ask you out, which is so annoying! There are so many sexy ladies to choose from.. they'll try them all out. I just stick with the married guys. They are happy without having to exchange phone numbers and all of that unwanted baggage. (thats just my experience)

  21. #21
    Newbie
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    personally, i have a friend who is stripper and she has a regular who she meets OTC. and from what i've heard, she's making money hand over fist. BUT, apparently she has to talk to him all the time, text him, maybe kiss him once in awhile, etc. according to her, no sexual contact (but who knows for sure). so i guess, its all what YOU want as a stripper and what you think you need to do or say to keep him coming back.

  22. #22
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Some Fat guys Lap!
    Posts
    9,647
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 90 Times in 67 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by lost_pharoh
    personally, i have a friend who is stripper and she has a regular who she meets OTC. and from what i've heard, she's making money hand over fist. BUT, apparently she has to talk to him all the time, text him, maybe kiss him once in awhile, etc. according to her, no sexual contact (but who knows for sure). so i guess, its all what YOU want as a stripper and what you think you need to do or say to keep him coming back.
    Would you just STOP already Good grief. You dont know "what" you're friend is doing. Secondly, why don't you have her come become a member of STRIPPERWEB. This isn't called www.ihaveafriendthatsastripper.com







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  23. #23
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    287
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I have a problem with this too. I am always getting guys who really like me, and then ask me if I will go with them outside of the club. I always say no, or well, why don't I give you my e-mail instead of me phoning them (they rarely email though) and I usually really quickly lose them as customers because I said I wouldn't go out with them. I can't seem to do the fake girlfriend experience: they always want more. I keep wanting to get a couple of good regulars, but they never last more than a few times at the bar.

  24. #24
    Senior Member kittensgirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki Roberts
    at one time I did have a large amount of regulars that I spent alot of time with.(always kept it in the club) The same thing would happen everytime. starts out they spend money on you then lil by lil they talk more spend less. yet they always assume you will spend time with them when they come in. they start to think we are friends and that they dont need to pay for the friendship.

    If a guy comes in and likes me he will keep comin back to see me but as a dancer not a friend.
    YES YES YES!!! I agree completely. Sometimes the regulars ignore you after the third knock back to a dinner date but in the end they are all the same.

  25. #25
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Don't go out with the guy's... but do ask for there email or phone... or celll,
    I call them up once in while to see how there doing.. makes them think I care a lot of them.. just give them the attention they want, but don't give to much or to little just enough to keep him coming back for more.. and more.. and..

    let them know if you change clubs.. invite them to pay you a visite at the club... whatever.. it takes

    I got 2 of my regulars.. to drive an hours out of town to come see me and give 200-400$

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. BA and the Regular . . .
    By Shy_Guy in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 112
    Last Post: 10-05-2009, 03:01 PM
  2. help w/regular
    By Victoryx0x0 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 03-21-2008, 11:34 AM
  3. how do u get a regular?
    By jaizaine in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-08-2007, 05:42 AM
  4. Being a regular
    By Cherryholic in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 07-19-2005, 12:29 PM
  5. You Know You're A SC Regular When....
    By verfolgung in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 06-18-2005, 06:35 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •