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Thread: How to keep a regular??!

  1. #26
    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    ^ Good advice. I give out my email address - but I find they rarely email. I do call customers every once in a while and I think that is more effective and personal.

  2. #27
    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    To tell you the truth, I have a few regulars who I have met OTC and two of them live long distance from me. If they come up to visit me or I happen to be in their neighbourhood if I travel elsewhere to dance, I will meet them for dinner or an evening out and they also come to spend on me at the club. The boundaries are clear, and I always make them clear when I handover my dancer number or email. For this reason I keep a separate phone and email address so it's easy to ignore weirdos (not happened yet luckily, I think I'm a good judge of character ). These guys I have met are very down-to-earth and know the score but there are only a few of them; I can't shift my relationship OTC with just anybody, because a lot of guy will fantasise they're in with a chance. A sure breaker of the regular relationship.

    If you have a reg, enjoy it for how long it lasts. Some regs last for what seems forever (like a girl I worked with, whose has been seeing her EXCLUSIVELY five years!!!) and other for a short while. If they fizzle out, don't chase them, just let them be. Money isn't worth it in most cases, neither is the lack of self respect. But be happy you had that experience. A lot of girls don't ever manage it.
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  3. #28
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I think you've got to distinguish between a customer who becomes a friend, and a customer who becomes a regular. The two can be very different.

    In the 'friendship' situation, neither of you are looking to exploit the other and money soon drops out of the equation.

    In the 'regular' situation, (which we're discussing), the dancer is looking at the guy as an income stream. That's not to say dancers are entirely cynical about regulars - she may end up in a situation which she's comfortable with. Similarly, some guys who end up as regulars may accept the dancers' limits on the relationship and be content with that.

    There's sometimes talk about dancers being manipulative of their customers; but the reverse can be true as well. How many 'regulars' say to dancers: "I'm quite happy to be friends only", while plotting how to seduce her?

    I think the only way a dancer will keep a regular is when they've got roughly similar aspirations - if the regular has ideas beyond the dancer's limits then the relationship has a shelf-life.

    The only question then is to what degree the dancer is willing to manipulate her regular. Some dancers will quickly see the income from that regular as more trouble than it's worth; others will go to greater lengths to keep the money rolling in.

    Phil.

    PS: hope I don't sound too cynical about this, but the dancer/regular relationship can get quite Machiavellian on both sides. Caveat emptor.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    well it happened to me again, well not exactly this. A couple of times this past week or so I've been with a guy, he's gotten a few dances, will probably get more and then says, well how much would it be to go back to my places and do dances there? I asked if they were looking for dances or more and they said dances and my gut feeling was that they were telling the truth, but when I say no with the excuse of not going to their place on my own etc. then I've lost them and don't want to get any more dances in the club. Is there any way around that? If I say maybe, then they don't get dances anymore either with the hopes that I will go back to home and do a private party. Is there any way to salvage the situation?

  5. #30
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by Izabella
    I asked if they were looking for dances or more and they said dances and my gut feeling was that they were telling the truth, but when I say no with the excuse of not going to their place on my own etc.
    Dont give them the option of "more". You both know there is no more and theres no reason of giving the option even if you have no intention of giving it. Perhaps you may not have know what you were saying.
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  6. #31
    Member Torry's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I think that if you just tell him you can't meet because the club won't allow it, he may still come back. I have found that when I did go and meet somebody outside they never came back, but shouldn't have done that anyway... Just judge this by the situation. Because some people may seem cooler than others. Just yesterday a really rich, nice guy gave me a lot of money for dances and wants to hang out at bike week, I would never do this unless I didn't see that about 3 other girls dancing probably are too. So maybe that would be all right.

  7. #32
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    To the OP -- I don't think you insulted him. But as a lawyer he knows a good diverting tactic to make others think his problem is theirs.
    Somehow he rejected you. Undoubtedly it's his big loss. But I'd guess he got scared. Someday he'll look back on this and ask a friend to kick him in the ass.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  8. #33
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    Quote Originally Posted by Izabella
    I have a problem with this too. I am always getting guys who really like me, and then ask me if I will go with them outside of the club. I always say no, or well, why don't I give you my e-mail instead of me phoning them (they rarely email though) and I usually really quickly lose them as customers because I said I wouldn't go out with them. I can't seem to do the fake girlfriend experience: they always want more. I keep wanting to get a couple of good regulars, but they never last more than a few times at the bar.
    Izabella, the problem is with your not realizing these guys came into the club looking for 'take-out' from the very beginning. The problem is with your being naive enough to believe them, not with their doing what comes naturally to young guys. Before the dance tell them you only provide sexual fantasies in the club as an occupation; you are not there hoping to find someone to shack up or go home with. This will rid you of the less persistent pervos, then you'll have to spot the rest by yourself. Good luck!
    Last edited by threlayer; 04-29-2006 at 08:43 AM. Reason: tyop
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  9. #34
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    I should have have added that when I say that I immediately add that if they are, that that's not something I do.

  10. #35
    Senior Member FireTiger's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to keep a regular??!

    The mistake was allowing him to come to the conclusion that he was never going to get anywhere with you. Whether he admits it or not, a regular keeps coming back because he believes or hopes that he will be able to win you over and you will sleep with him.

    If he BELIEVES that he can win you over, it is because you led him on.
    If he HOPES then he wants you to like him so much that he interprets every kind word, every little affectionate gesture as a sign that you might really be "into" him even if there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary (i.e. every time he asks you out to dinner you have an excuse.)

    Once the "utility" of the combined belief and hope dips below a certain threshold (in his mind, it's not worth the effort anymore) he will give up.

    Dasha, I bet is really good at this: Tapping into his instincts,
    -to be a provider, "take care" of a dancer in hope of some reward, or (if the dancer is smart) he is rewarded simply by her gratitude and appreciation
    -to chase... men are more competetive than we are, so they thrive on a challenge. Once they have decided to "win" you over, they are reluctant to give up the fight, even as his chances of getting you into bed seem more and more dismal.

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