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Thread: Is your partner on your wave length?

  1. #1
    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Is your partner on your wave length?

    Opposites can attract but how long does it take till this wears off?

    I started seeing this great guy a few months ago. We get on really well, can talk about most anything, no lies or dishonesty, complete respect for each other, amazing sex yada yada.

    It is becoming more apparent though that we are not really on the same wave length about a few things.

    For example; I am a big health nut and have very strong views and values in this area, he doesn't seem to care less. He respects my opinions but I don't feel he 'gets' me sometimes.

    These things are a part of who I am and I am just beginning to wonder how it is going to affect us in the future.

    Has anyone else had any experiences in this area? Would love to hear the general thoughts.

    k
    Last edited by krys; 02-21-2005 at 03:40 PM.

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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    I think opposites can attract, but you need to want the same things out of life--the same type of lifestyle, etc. Also, the two things that break up most marriages are disagreements about having children and managing money, so you need to be on the same wavelength about those biggies.

    My guy and I are so similar it's almost funny, but even so, if we disagreed about the big issues it wouldn't work out.


    And for what it's worth, I think feeling your partner understands--ie "gets" you--is a biggie, too. If I wanted to be with someone who wasn't interested in the things that are important to me, I'd hang out with my dad.

    You're 23; don't sweat it. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure there are plenty of yoga-practicing fellas out there who would love to get with you. Also, I find that men tend to get more interested in taking care of themselves as they get older (partly so they can bang hot women who are 10 years younger).

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    I would be more concerned if your bf didn't respect your values, ideas, and/or opinions. Opposites attract, but the problem comes in where the people involved do not respect the differences between them.

    Of course...If YOU feel that the differences between you two are not "passable", then it's better to let go of the relationship than to hold on and be miserable.

  4. #4
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    Opposites attract , but you guys need to share some like or what is the relationship gonna be based on?For example a guy Im dating loves to play golf, and Ive never. So im gonna see if he can teach me.Maybe ill like it maybe i wont but if everything in our relationship was like that I nor he would enjoy it.You gotta have some interest in common.Opposites attract work best when its about looks or personality traits.

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    They are all some really good points ladies, thanks!

    We have some similar interests and personality traits so we get along well in that respect. But I think Susan hit the nail on the head with this comment:

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    And for what it's worth, I think feeling your partner understands--ie "gets" you--is a biggie, too. If I wanted to be with someone who wasn't interested in the things that are important to me, I'd hang out with my dad.
    I guess sometimes I wonder if I am just waiting for something I might not find...... I guess when its right you just know??

    k

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    Oh yes i have been there. All i heard towards the end of my relationship was, "we have nothing in common." Well if we had everything in common, what a boring life for us.

    And if he ever thought about another person in his life that he said he cared about, he would find we had alot in common. Also, i wanted to learn more!!

    I know it's all about being accepted. You like health food fine, let him eat what he wants, that should not be an issue. Now if you tell him he eats food that will clog his arteries, then i see a problem. If he tells you you are a health nut, there may be problems.

    I just wish people would realize that NOT ONE person in the world has every thing in common. It's just not do-able.

    I say live and let live, and accept people, habits/ life-style and all. We have to be ourselves.

    Pamela

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    I'm dealing with this somewhat myself and don't have any good answers. I just know if there are things that are really important to one person and the other isn't really into it can be a problem.

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    Senior Member Satara's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    I think opposites can attract, but you need to want the same things out of life--the same type of lifestyle, etc. Also, the two things that break up most marriages are disagreements about having children and managing money, so you need to be on the same wavelength about those biggies.
    I'm w/ Susan on this 1

    I also think people try & settle down too early in life. I mean people change, evolve as they age and learn about life so it seems 2 me that it's self destructive in alot of ways 2 settle down before 30. I think we all have too much 2 see and learn 2 get it right at like.... age 19

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    I guess I am just looking at this thing so closely as there is alot involved:

    - I am a NZer living in Canada, not sure what my visa situation is gonna do
    - He wants to work in the States in the future (it isn't going to be the easiest thing for me to follow)
    - He has also been married in the past (divorced for 1.5 years) so he is being very cautious

    He loves and respects and supports me.... it is just a difficult situation I have found myself in. As much as I try to take things day for day with all that hanging over us it is hard at times

    Everything is so open and uncertain it gets to me at times. Needed to let it all out so thanks for joining in ladies

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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    Mine is slightly off my wave length thank god ! We have been together for 17 yrs and yes we have had our ups and downs but all in all I wouldnt change a thing sometimes the bad times are the true test of a commitment , people tend to back out too easy these days . Stick with it and work on it and learn from it .

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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    As long as you have similar goals, it might work fine. Many times as couples are together for awhile, they start to grow together, think alike, and live a similar lifestyle. You will probably start eating some of the foods he likes and he will start eating some of the things you like in due time.

    As far as going to the states, that is something you could work on together.

    Just take it a day at a time and don't over analyze things. just see what develops.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is your partner on your wave length?

    My girl and I are opposites in a lot of ways, but we have some basic things in common... we basically eat the same health nutty food, social justice is a big thing for both of us, we have very very similar ideas about money and children, we are excited about some of the same philosophical and psychological ideas, and our emotional styles are very similar.

    But... she eats sushi and I don't. She eats more meat than I do. She's not quite as earthy as I am (she's rather attatched to electricity). She does more fun stuff and less serious stuff than me. She has lots of tattoos (I have none).

    Mostly no big deal, but some things make me wonder how they'll work out.

    Lena



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