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Thread: should i tell my customer?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default should i tell my customer?

    i have a regular who comes to see me. we went out for dinner once. he still comes in (spends big $$$). he notices i am always single (or so i tell him). he shows an interest in me (possibly dating?) i would hate for him to be rejected and lose him as a customer. should i tell him the truth, that i got out of a very bad relationship and am not ready? or is this just unecessary? i should also mention my ex is kinda crazy. very controlling and obsessive and not too careful with guns. would telling my customer that, should i date him and be seen outside the club with him, i may run in to my crazy ex, who carries a gun and will shoot whatever is in his way? (my ex still 'cares', you know, the leaving crazy letters on my car type)
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    Member willow24's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    In my personal opinon, do not date a customer. I learned that the hard way. Also, you are there to be his fantasy, nothing more. For all you know, he could be married and not telling you. He does not need to hear about your personal issues. He is in your club to see you and for you to "entertain" him. Not to hear about your psycho ex bf. So i would say just keep it at that.
    Best,
    Willow

  3. #3
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    wasnt planning on dating him.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by toxicgirl
    i have a regular who comes to see me. we went out for dinner once.
    You already dated him.
    Its a common mistake entertainers make,no big deal.
    I would say you should NOT date a customer.In almost every case,its the begining of the end of the relationship as a customer.

    The real problem I see in your post is your ex and the control he still has over you,even though your broken up with him.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by toxicgirl
    i have a regular who comes to see me. we went out for dinner once. he still comes in (spends big $$$). he notices i am always single (or so i tell him). he shows an interest in me (possibly dating?) i would hate for him to be rejected and lose him as a customer. should i tell him the truth, that i got out of a very bad relationship and am not ready? or is this just unecessary? i should also mention my ex is kinda crazy. very controlling and obsessive and not too careful with guns. would telling my customer that, should i date him and be seen outside the club with him, i may run in to my crazy ex, who carries a gun and will shoot whatever is in his way? (my ex still 'cares', you know, the leaving crazy letters on my car type)
    I don't understand. You are talking about dating him...but you aren't?? Are you meaning that you think he's interested in dating YOU, but you are trying to find a way to let him down gently...without losing him as a customer?

    If you don't want to lose him as a customer, then be honest with him. The worst thing you can do is lie. Anybody can smell a lie and that pisses people off more than being "turned down".

    Good luck.

    Of course...I would be more concerned with getting the crazy ex off the street and out of the "Stalk Me" game than worry about a customer. But, that's just me.

  6. #6
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    I use the, "just getting over a divorce" line when asked for dates all the time. It's more or less true, though it has been a while since the divorce. Personally I like it better than a straight out "no". For one, I don't think it comes off as rejecting the guy. Secondly, it kind of lets them think that they have a chance later on down the road.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by toxicgirl
    i have a regular who comes to see me. we went out for dinner once. he still comes in (spends big $$$). he notices i am always single (or so i tell him). he shows an interest in me (possibly dating?) i would hate for him to be rejected and lose him as a customer. should i tell him the truth, that i got out of a very bad relationship and am not ready? or is this just unecessary? i should also mention my ex is kinda crazy. very controlling and obsessive and not too careful with guns. would telling my customer that, should i date him and be seen outside the club with him, i may run in to my crazy ex, who carries a gun and will shoot whatever is in his way? (my ex still 'cares', you know, the leaving crazy letters on my car type)
    Its entirely human and compassionate to not and to reject someone and hurt their feelings. Its also entirely practical and pragmatic to not want to reject a big spending customer, which is a source of income.

    In the face of those sort of things, because really try for the perfect third way that works out the best for pboth people. Unfortunately, the reality of the world doesnt work like that, despite our best efforts and ferverent intentions.

    You have to evaluate the consquences of A) not telling him and leading him on and B) telling him and losing him. Try to make an educated guess at the long term effects of either path, and see how they might effect you. Just remember that you wont be able to reject him without losing him (as a customer). If you really think thats the best, accept that reality and do it. Be as humane as you can, but be firm.

    People do not want to go through that initial uncomfortable, painful situation around rejecting someone, but that passes. Its like a band-aid being ripped off. Its better to endure that sharp - but temporary - pain to prevent long term discomfort and problems.

  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Ok dating the customer thing is you're business. (not good, but it happens) So lets forget him for a sec.

    What's up wiht this EX. Get a fucking restraining order out on his ass for starters.
    Are you going to live you life telling people he's crazy and carries a gun?

    So, i guess this means you will never be able to move on with you're life until the CRAZY EX finds another women to control.

    1) Every letter he puts on you're car, make a copy of and turn it in to the authorities.

    Let the ex know you are so over his shit, that he better stay away. Hun you are putting another persons life in danger as well as you're own. Remember that.

    Pamela

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    I would tell him now. If you have to use the end of a recent relationship thing than do it but Id just tell him outright.

    Some customers need tobe given the harsh reality.
    AmyLynne

  10. #10
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    tell your customer that you can't date him a lot of times because you can loose your job, your boss don't like that dancers from his club date customers outside... so everytime you have to take a risk... or take another dancer with you... i do that it they believe me.

    but if it comes so far that you don't know what to do then just explane your customer... he will understand if he really like's you.

    good luck.

  11. #11
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    [QUOTE=BigGreenMnM]You already dated him.
    Its a common mistake entertainers make,no big deal.
    I would say you should NOT date a customer.In almost every case,its the begining of the end of the relationship as a customer.QUOTE]

    Of course not all the time...but i date customers and they spend more for me if they come to the club now... Of course you have to take care with who!
    but i don't see any problem with dating them and i am not single, my boyfriend understand... ok i never go alone alway's i take another dancer with me. i don't go for dinners or coffee, only shopping meeting!
    you will not loose a customer dating him you only win!! he will believe in you more and will think you really like him so thats a big +

  12. #12
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    venusgoddess posted:
    I don't understand. You are talking about dating him...but you aren't?? Are you meaning that you think he's interested in dating YOU, but you are trying to find a way to let him down gently...without losing him as a customer?

    yeah, i'm trying to let him down gently. we went for dinner one time but i always say i am too busy to meet up otc (which is true!)
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

  13. #13
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    sorry to post again. i'm still having computer problems. i swear this thing is possessed. anyways, that's what i'm trying to do, let him down gently. it's not a 'no' but as some of you have put that i'm putting my life in danger as well as his, that's the point i was going to stress to him. that i think he's nice, but i dont want anything to happen to him. as far as the ex, yes, i have security when i'm at work. i have a friend who is a private investigator. he also does security for celebrities. we are working with authorities and he pops into my work from time to time or calls me and sends someone else with the same qualifications and that he trusts to keep an eye on me.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

  14. #14
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by naomisantos77

    Of course not all the time...but i date customers and they spend more for me if they come to the club now... Of course you have to take care with who!
    but i don't see any problem with dating them and i am not single, my boyfriend understand... ok i never go alone alway's i take another dancer with me. i don't go for dinners or coffee, only shopping meeting!
    you will not loose a customer dating him you only win!! he will believe in you more and will think you really like him so thats a big +
    Till its time to pay the piper.

    I have seen it for to long and way way to many times.

    Yes,a rare,rare occasion it may work out well,kinda like walking into a minefield and expecting to come out the other end.
    Sometimes it doesnt end bad.


    To each thier own.

    Play hard and play safe.
    Best of luck to all that dance in that minefield.

  15. #15
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM
    Till its time to pay the piper.

    I have seen it for to long and way way to many times.

    Yes,a rare,rare occasion it may work out well,kinda like walking into a minefield and expecting to come out the other end.
    Sometimes it doesnt end bad.


    To each thier own.

    Play hard and play safe.
    Best of luck to all that dance in that minefield.
    I do it for 5 years now and i still have my customers comming back for me. No problems at all... I think it depends how you are, i always tell them that i am as a stripper not interested in a relationship... just as friends i do not have problems to go out for shopping meetings! And i lett them know that i can't meet them alone i will take a friend with me in case i see my boss so he wouldn't say i am meeting my customers (not that it is a problem for my boss because he is my boyfriend ) but for the customers they will see it diffirent and will think i take some risks to meet him.

    (my english writting is not that good so i can't explane it exactly how i want but i hope you understand what i mean. and the check spelling never works )

    To date customers is not bad if you think he is a nice man and has enough respect for you.... he will treat you like that. I have got a customer now, he comes 3 times in the week to the club buy's me 3 or 4 champagne and gives me 100 or 200 euro's tip and he doesn't want to dance with me just talking!
    so that's what i mean... I know him only 2 months he comes only for me. Till now he didn't ask me to go out with him but if .... i will defaintly go!

  16. #16
    Senior Member Satara's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my customer?

    I think its better 2B honest..... I think it helps avoid problems in the future

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