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Thread: When they want to know if you are married

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default When they want to know if you are married

    I am amrried and have a kid. All my regulars know it, as it ocmes up in conversation about daily stuff. The last 2 nights, however, I ahve had new guys refuse dances specifically because I am married. What do you married ladies tell the guys when they ask?

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    Member MaleDancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I can't speak for every single time my lady gets asked if she's married or has a boyfriend, but being engaged she wears a ring on her left hand, and moves it to the right hand when she's dancing. It's only the guys who won't stop asking her out she tells about me, otherwise she lies.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I tell the guys that say no after they find out I'm married

    "You're loss then." "You know he wouldn't have wanted to marry me me if I didn't have mad skills; and this is probably the only chance you'll get unless something happens...."

    I think it makes them think (around here anyway) that they might have a chance at something (and in this case a dance) that they normally wouldn't have.

    Or I'll tell them something cheesy like "Well so what? Let's see if you can make me change my mind about this whole marriage thing... "

    I know I sound like some gold digger, I'm really not! Well not away from work anyway...

    Kitana
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    Member LovelyLaura's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I am married, and I told my customers that I had a boyfriend, that way they would still be interested and think that um, I wasn't AS attached to someone and they still could "have" a chance with me! It worked fine for me!! Though I did tell a couple of my regular customers whom I was very close too, and they didn't give a damn one way or the other, they just wanted to have a good time while they were there. I think its easier to say you have a bf/gf that way when you do get asked out you don't really have to keep making excuses on why you don't wanna go out with them.

    When I start dancing again soon, I'll do the same thing!!!


    edit: BTW when they say no because your married just say hey, and I'm sure your not married either???? sarcastically of course! Please! At least 75% of the men who frequent our clubs, and probably more than that are married! What a fucking double standard!!

    edit: Something I just thought about.....
    I NEVER wear my rings when I work, not even on the other hand...most guys arent that stupid!! Fortunately my hubby is graced with an open mind, common sense and logic to know the reasons why I do it and it doesn't bother him, he knows its all about the $$$$$!
    Last edited by LovelyLaura; 02-24-2005 at 02:16 PM.

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I told my regulars I was married. They understand. I think they are simply looking for enjoyment, and that the scatter of guys that come in on saturday nights want to hook up most of the time..if they ask after I have a significant amount of their money, I say yes, or if they ask if I have a boyfriend, I say of course not. HEH, but little do they know I am married, so that leaves it open for them to think they can get more, and to where I can make more $ off of them.

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Why would you even say you are married? I think it hinders your chances of making money. Just say "no"... of course you are thinking that now these guys are going to want to take you out, but don't they all? That's the name of the game (don't hate the players, hate the game! ha ha)- If you must, just say you are dating right now, or you have a boyfriend. At least you arent' leaving yourself wide open, and the customer will think he has a chance (yeah right!)- But then you won't be closing yourself off to the customer- just a thought....
    Esquire Club New York
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    Senior Member honeygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I always say no. Why? Because it is really a turn off for most of my customers, and is a hinderance to my money making potential. And, I am mainly there to make money. It will spread like wild fire, the less the people know about you at the club..the better. Lots of guys say it takes away from the fantasy, they want to believe they can have you. And while I am there, I give them that fantasy. And, I got tired of the, how can your b/f LET you work here.............if you were my g/f I would take better care of you bullshit..........
    Bands will make me dance..........

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    NEVER tell a customer or potential regular you are married. It kills their desire. In some of the small town clubs I dance in some of my regulars know where I stay and are always "snooping around" to find out who I'm with if anyone, how did I get from one place to another etc.

    These guys want to feel we're "available" and if not they soon fade into the sunset.

    Keep your personal relationship info to yourself when talking to interested customers. If you don't it WILL cost you money, I guarantee it.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Im not married nor do I have a boyfriend as far as my custy's are concerned.
    AmyLynne

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Tell them whatever makes you the most money. Its all bout the money.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I have decided to tell tham that I am divorced (true-I was m`arried once before) and if they push it that I have kid who stays with his dad on nightds I work. That also gives me the excuse whay i can't go out with them--have to pick up my kid, I work 6 days a week, don't you know, it's hard for single mothers. All of it is true, just not in the way they put it togehter. I tried it out today, worked like a charm! Thanks, ladies!

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    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    i wouldnt tell them anything. i always say i'm single because i'm afraid of getting that one crazy customer who gets obsessed and may try to not only hurt me but my so as well. i tell my coworkers to do this so they can protect themselves. i am in a similar situation, but it's about a crazy ex, not current mate.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    If a guy asks I tell him I'm married. I wear my rings so there's no hiding it. (they can't come off anymore, fingers are too fat!) I tell them I need someone to take the trash out and pay half my bills!

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    imm not married but i do have a daughter, at times ive had a bf in my career, I decided that Jade doesnt have a boyfriend, but mommy does. so I tell them no. I want them to think for half a second they have a chance so i can get the cash.
    Carpe Diem!

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I find that letting customers know that I am married (if they ask) makes for a faster, more lucrative hustle.

    When I used to tell customers I was single or just had a boyfriend, the questions and the talking was endless. Yes, I realize that I may be losing a few $$ from a customer or two who is there looking for a date, but at least I am not wasting time with the countless penniless losers looking for a stripper girlfriend.

    There are plenty of men in the club who know what a strip club is, what the girls are there for, and are very happy to have a few moments or hours of fantasy. It is easier to find those guys by telling everyone that I'm married so I can move on from the "I'm looking for a date - going to talk your ear off - ask you out to dinner - why would I pay for a dance when I can take care of you so much better outside of the club" guys.

    Samantha

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen
    I have decided to tell tham that I am divorced (true-I was m`arried once before) and if they push it that I have kid who stays with his dad on nightds I work. That also gives me the excuse whay i can't go out with them--have to pick up my kid, I work 6 days a week, don't you know, it's hard for single mothers. All of it is true, just not in the way they put it togehter. I tried it out today, worked like a charm! Thanks, ladies!
    Thank goodness you do this, too. This is exactly what I tell my cutomers as well. You gotta have a plan as to what you are going to say because they only ask you out, like, 500 times a day!

    Hehe, Samantha has such a good point, too. Hmmmm.

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I am not married, and even if I were to get married while I am still dancing I would never reveal that kind of personal information to a customer. My personal life is no ones business but mine.
    I always tell guys that I like to have as many boyfriends as possible. That usually stops their rude overly personal interrogation right away.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I'm not married , but a girl that works at my club tells customers that she's married to her job. it's a good way to change the subject...quick.

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    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Quote Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite
    I am not married, and even if I were to get married while I am still dancing I would never reveal that kind of personal information to a customer. My personal life is no ones business but mine.
    I always tell guys that I like to have as many boyfriends as possible. That usually stops their rude overly personal interrogation right away.
    I usually do the same. I am not married but I have a boyfriend. When a customer asks, I tell them I have a couple boyfriends...that way they feel I am not sure which one I will end up with and that they may have a chance with me if they tend to head in that direction.



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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    You are actresses. You can have a separate identity at work, besides your stage name. In fact you should. It doesn't have to be a fantastic identity, but should make you interesting but somewhat unavailable to customers. No turnoffs. No babies, no hubbies, no legal problems, love sex and showing off, etc. I have a real problem with people lying, but this is just a fantasy job anyhow.

    Your real identity is for your friends, who probably should not visit at the club unless they can be trusted to shut up about reality.

    Saying that, I've had good times with dancers with disabled kids, married dancers, nursing (and leaking) mother-dancers, prostitute dancers, druggie dancers, etc. It's just that I can get beyond the fantasy, while many cannot.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member Lurker_001's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    As a regular customer to a Dancer sometimes i wonder if she is married.I think that it would be a good ice breaker to know.That i would feel more comfortable around her and have a easier time talking to her.I don't know though,maybe it would "kill the fantasy" and make me lose interest.

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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I tell them that I am currently "seeing" somebody. I say it's not my boyfriend or anything too serious and he doesn't know that I dance-- makes for interesting conversation and then I get to talk about how I just love, love, love being a rebellious exhibitionist. Blah blah blah...

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    Quote Originally Posted by exotica17
    Thank goodness you do this, too. This is exactly what I tell my cutomers as well. You gotta have a plan as to what you are going to say because they only ask you out, like, 500 times a day!
    If I dated everybody who asked me out, I would never sleep! What are they thinking??


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    Senior Member Mark W.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: When they want to know if you are married

    I have never asked any dancer if she was married, had a b/f or kids. I feel these are private matters that are none of my business as a customer.

    I have also never asked a dancer in any club for a date. Sure I would have loved to see some of them outside the club, who wouldn't But like the husband or kids question, I chose not to try and invade their private lives.

    To me it is simply a matter of showing respect.

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