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Thread: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

  1. #26
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark W.
    She might consider getting a dog as additional protection for her apartment . We adopt out K9 trained dogs from time to time so she might consider contacting the local K9 unit to see if the have any dogs available.
    Well, she has a chihuaha, LOL! She stayed with friends last night. My cop friend says that we need to get this guy's license plate when he returns and that is all he needs to get the guy. Remember, she only has a first name for him as well, it could be a pseudonym.

    She's lived in this place for only 3 weeks, she isn't going to move yet, but its something I can bring up.

    I've been referencing Gift of Fear in regards to this sitation, thanks Lena!

    And thank you very much to everyone for your input!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  2. #27
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I don't know if I can get him banned from all the clubs in the city, its not like all the club owners in Austin are buddy-buddy. This club is actually pretty far north from where we live, but its easy to follow a girl home since its a straight shot down the interstate and its hard to see if you are being followed. I was recently followed home as well in Jacksonville, that was creepy.

    Neither of us worked last night and Tues is crappy $5 dance day, so she needs to talk to management tomorrow. Our GM is an uncaring asshole, but the head manager is wonderful and will help out I'm sure. Its the best money in town, so she'd be reluntant to leave. But I can't speak for her. Thanks again!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  3. #28
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Of course she have to talk to her boss! So they can let him know to NEVER come near any dancers outside the club!!! Don't you have security from the club???

    If she change her appartment it doesn't matter because another night he will probably follow her again.

    Don't she know a guy who can pretent to be her boyfriend so he can learn him some lesson!!!

  4. #29
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Katrine...maybe if she talks to management...they can move her into another apartment without her actually having to find a new place, etc. Management can also put a pseudo-last name up on the board. The people that she WANTS to come over will know this last name...but her real last name will no longer be up there.

    As scary as this is, she ABSOLUTELY NEEDS to tell her neighbors that some guy is stalking her. People get pissed off when they find out someone has a stalker...and they are usually very willing to watch out for the person. If only for "selfish" reasons (they don't want to run into a bad situation in which they may get hurt, as well), they'll usually stop letting unknown people in, not be willing to offer information on ANY of their neighbors, etc. She REALLY, REALLY needs to do this.

    I agree that talking with the manager is her best bet. Having EVERYONE at work aware of this will make everyone a little less likely to give this guy any information. Plus, if they are aware of this guy...they'll be looking out for that license plate.

    Keep safe and make sure that your friend understands that sometimes moving from where she is will always be the best decision. Keep in mind that stalking charges will NOT keep this guy in prison and Restraining or Protection Orders don't do shit. While this guy is off the street, she's going to need to move and become more "aggressive" in her daily routines (meaning no "same" routes to anyplace).

    Lots of hugs!!

  5. #30
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I agree with some some posters here. Already this is considered STALKING. Hope Texas is a strict as Florida..They don't play that game here.

    Have a camera cell phone? He wont even know his picture is being taken!

    A police report HAS to be filed about this guy. Although i don't care for a restraining order (they tend to really piss a "would be wacko off." But at times they show you really mean business.

    Usually there has to be a crime before any police force steps in. Go with STALKING. It works.

    I would never change my life for a "freak," because sooner or later another always seems to come along. Stop him in his tracks. Stalkers can be very dangerous, so the buddy system comes in to her life now. As well as DON"T SAY A WORD TO HIM. No matter how upset she may feel, she should not even say hi, bye or go away. To her he is not there.

    THese guys want attention, control, and will often times move on to another. Sad.

    Good luck,

    Pamela

  6. #31
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I must agree with Lena. But in Florida all it takes is a visit from a person who does not want the person around, and of course she needs to tell the police her story.

    Here i have had restraining orders...3. I was told they are to stop any form of "meetings" from taking place first, i.e. un-wanted meetings as in stalking. Ex bf's are good for this one. Even though you just want him to go away and he keeps popping up.

    Well worth a try.

    All 3 times i had a restraining order, i had no "attack," first, just men who kept following/bothing me un-wanted meetings. Sitting in his car near my home was a biggie, as well as entering property. But walking down the side walk is not against the law, unless he yelled to me.

    One guy was very very bold entering my fenced yard, as i had then 4 large dogs, but they are contained, so the ass could not turn around and make my friggin house insurance drop me incase he was mauled...fucker.

    So i had one dog enter the window, and i called police....STAKING. He said he loved me.

    Pamela

  7. #32
    Veteran Member stant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    Keep in mind that stalking charges will NOT keep this guy in prison and Restraining or Protection Orders don't do shit.


    Restraining Order could be quite helpful as evidence for establishing a justifiable homicide defense.

    Normally I'm not a big Second Amendment nut....but I'm flexible.
    Last edited by VenusGoddess; 03-11-2005 at 05:36 PM.

  8. #33
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I guess I should change what I meant by the above quoted post:

    Restraining/Protection Orders don't do anything to protect you. They only create a paper trail. I've never, ever heard of a stalker stopping what he's doing because his "victim" held up the restraining order.

  9. #34
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Having had a chance to look at the original post again, some thoughts thereon.

    1. "Psycho" has her address, apartment number, and possibly her last name from her mailbox. Unless "T" is ex-directory, I presume he could have called directory enquiries to get her phone number. The fact that he didn't, and actually called attention to himself by turning up at the SC and calling himself her boyfriend suggests in his mind at least he feels he has some relationship with "T".

    2. He's continued to naively use her stage name, even at reception at the SC, where you can be pretty sure they'd know her real name as well. Most people who watch dancers must know there's a high probability that they use a stage name - didn't he realise it?

    3. His reaction when he turned up on "T's" doorstep was "hi T, is this ok?" When told it empathetically is not and the club is now a no-no as well, his reaction is "will she still dance for him?" Again, if I read this right, in Psycho's mind, he turned up thinking he might be welcome and was rapidly disabused of the idea. I think this came as a bit of a surprise to him, and the "will you still dance for me" bit was a rearguard action to try and salvage something, (from his point of view at least).

    There are two possibilities - firstly, that this guy will turn into an obsessive stalker, (with the proverbial screw loose), or second, he is a PL who read far to much into the usual BS dancers give to keep "regulars" coming back for more.

    All of the actions discussed above suggest to me PL. He could presumably got her phone number by dint of knowing her surname and address. Instead he chose to ask at reception in the club. In doing so, he used her stage name, not her real name. He also appears to have been a bit taken aback by his reception on "T's" doorstep.

    Hopefully, if this guy is just a deluded PL, he'll feel sufficiently humiliated by events to realise he was totally mistaken in his reading of the situation, and he'll slink away with his tail between his legs and not appear at the SC again.

    The incident has obviously been deeply distressing to "T", (and I'll bet many other dancers reading this thread are thinking there but for the grace of God go I...) She obviously has to take every precaution for her safety, but I just hope this is a "PL" problem that will fade away.

    Phil W.

  10. #35
    God/dess Will's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by stant
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    Keep in mind that stalking charges will NOT keep this guy in prison and Restraining or Protection Orders don't do shit.





    Restraining Order could be quite helpful as evidence for establishing a justifiable homicide defense.

    Normally I'm not a big Second Amendment nut....but I'm flexible.
    A gun is never the first defense, but it could be your last... always avoid violence of possible, restrainig orders, etc. If you can run away, run! if I were a women, in particular a women who makes their living in a dance club where nuts, idiots, and stalker types are common, you would not catch me in the parking lot after work unnarmed. The article I posted does a nice job with the overall context. I know at least three dancers around here I bump into at the range who are armed for various reasons, one of them I already mentioned. Anyone living in the New England area who wants to go to the range and try it is welcome.
    A cunning linguist...

  11. #36
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    I guess I should change what I meant by the above quoted post:

    Restraining/Protection Orders don't do anything to protect you. They only create a paper trail. I've never, ever heard of a stalker stopping what he's doing because his "victim" held up the restraining order.
    I know a bunch of cops and to a man (sorry, I don't know any female cops) they tell me restraining orders either have no effect or make it worse, but it does set a legal paper trail to bring it to some conclusion. People, in particular women, really have to cover their bases and protect themselves, especially if theywork in high risk environments.
    A cunning linguist...

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I will give some advice as someone who works in EMS (I am a paramedic):

    First, there are some really bad, sick fucking people out there and this guy may be one of them.

    Second, the best way to deal with a moron like this is for some guy to give him a beat down. This is probably not the most intelligent or legal advice, but it will probably explain to him it is better to move on.

    A restraining order has one good merit: it allows the police to hook the guy up automatically if he ever shows up again at the house. This is important because if he shows up again and the cops get called, all they may be able to do is trespass warn the guy and send him on his way. A restraining order violation means he is taking a ride.

    So my overall advice (notwithstanding the beat down if possible) is to call the cops, get a file started. They can show you how to get a restraining order on him (which means he wouldn't be able to show up at the club either...), and call the cops EVERY time he violates it. In all probability he is a little coward that will run off the first time he spends a night in county lock-up.

  13. #38
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I still don't understand how you can get a restraining order against someone's first name, which may not even be his real name?

    She doesn't have a land line, only a mobile phone, so he cannot trace her using reverse lookup.

    Finally, he is calling her by a fake first name. I am not sure if he called her that to receptionist at the club, but he doesn't know her real name for sure. Either he calls her by her fake first name or stage name. Either way he has never called her by real name.

    Neither of us have been to the club the last few days. She's been staying w friends. Last night though, she was home in bed by the time I got a hold of her. She had mace. Not sure where she is tonight but I am constantly checking........

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  14. #39
    Veteran Member Sparkell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    OMG i know how this feels i had a cab driver in vegas do this to me...and i got a restraining order on him and he stopped for about 2 weeks...then he poped up at my door again with his son!!! so i ended up having to move away ...such a bad feeling...he used to wait at the back of the club looking for me and shit...Soo creepy...he had to be banned from the club property because of stalking me....


    "If You Harbor Bitterness, Happyness Will Dock Elsewere"

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    Yep. And if you never find him, you can still make $900 while you look .

  15. #40
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper in Trouble-Need Urgent Advice

    I had a problem with a stalker from a club before and the cops told me to move. If she doesn't want to move, tell her to get a gun. Tell her if he shows up again to shoot him the leg and call the cops and tell the she felt threatened. The bouncers at your club need to kick his ass if he shows up again
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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