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Thread: Finger Friendly??

  1. #26
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Just cleaned up this thread. Please keep it ON TOPIC...if you want to read about TR or describe your "conquests" in detail, please do so on the Blue Site. If this thread goes off again, it will be locked.

    Thanks!

  2. #27
    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    My take on finger-fucking is this: It happened to me once, I don't remember it b/c i was too drunk to take care of myself. I certainly would never do it sober. Any guy who would take advantage of a drunk woman is sick and needs counselling. Any girls that are doing this must have a lowered self esteem, and need help. That's the problem, any guys that are out there finger-fucking or going to prostitutes or whatever know that the only reason the girls are allowing this is b/c of the fact that they have low self-esteem, and they can't possibly be happy or fulfilled. From the guy's side of taking advantage of someone who is sick, from a predator standpoint, is no more healthy than the girls who are allowing it. It doesn't matter if it is consensual, it is generally a predator/victim situation, and no one there has a healthy mind.

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    Senior Member honeygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    I have had guy's get grabby, usually they are doing other inappropiate things b/f they get ballsy and go for your vagina. I put my WTF face on and slap their hands. If it gets to aggresive I leave. There have been times, that I really needed the dance so I will hold their hands in my hands in order to finish the dance. If someone fingered me, I would be too tramatized to lap dance again.

    I know girls who use tampons when they are not on their period. It is highly unsafe and can could infections or worse.
    Bands will make me dance..........

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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    I had that shit happen to me a year and ahalf ago. Was in the lapdance room with the Arab, sitting on the guys lap facing him and out of nowhere he bit my nipple and held onto it with his teeth, then at the same time reached an arm round my back and slid his hand down my G and I couldnt move because he was biting into me so hard. I was screaming the club down but ebcause teh music was so loud no one could hear and I felt his finger millimeters from my butthole.

    Ive never been that scared in ny life. Needless to say I punched him in the ehad until he let go of my nipple, grabbed my clothes and ran to the dressing room fast in a mess, put my clothes on and walked straight out of the club.

    Word got around what happened and I got a call of apology from management but I was screwed up fpr A MONTH. Couldnt work, go out...Felt Id been sexually abused.

  5. #30
    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Worse thing is security who were supposed to be looking out for us was sitting in the corner ignoring my screaming. He got fired, then I heard he got rehired again the week after.
    Needless to say, I never worked at that club again.

  6. #31
    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Worse even more is that I had to go to outpatients for cuts to my privates where he had held me down so hard hisbelt buckle had cut into my privates and for scratches and bruising on my buttox and nipple. Now whenever I lapdance I hold the guys hands gently and tell them some bullscrap about it being more intimate.
    Anyway, sorry about the spelling. Just got in from work and forgot to use spellcheck again.

  7. #32
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl
    ...Felt Id been sexually abused.
    You had been...

    Literally and legally, there's not much question about it.

    Though no cop would arrest the guy. More likely you would be arrested, for breaking the laws that make even a lap dance without finger-fucking illegal in so many areas.

    I have worked with many dancers who allowed this. Do I try to stop it? Fuck no--I'm way too busy to worry about that shit, unless they ask me to walk by VIP frequently if they know the guy's gonna get grabby.

    I have nothing against anyone fingering anyone else in any orifice, if it's by mutual consent.

    The problem is that so many guys feel it is their right to be allowed to do it, for a variety of reasons--none of them good.
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  8. #33
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Okay, this is gonna piss someone off I know, so I'll be waiting for the screaming. This is not my situation though, so if anyone gets upset, just remember it's not a race thing, it's a behavior thing. So my lady has guys who get grabby, like you all do I'm sure, but the only serious problems she has had have all been from latino men. The only guy who ever pulled out his dick, the only ones who ever try to lick her ass, or finger her, or squeeze her tits, etc, etc. The worst she has told me about from a non-latin man is getting their hands on her tits, but not squeezing really hard. Now, to shed the paper thin veil of political correctness I have left, I am not talking about Spanish diplomats straight from Madrid, I'm talking about Mexican men. Is this a universal problem, does anyone agree with me or disagree, does anyone think my woman might be having problems with other men and is just racist? Thoughts, opinions, questions...

  9. #34
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by SupportiveBF
    Okay, this is gonna piss someone off I know, so I'll be waiting for the screaming. This is not my situation though, so if anyone gets upset, just remember it's not a race thing, it's a behavior thing. So my lady has guys who get grabby, like you all do I'm sure, but the only serious problems she has had have all been from latino men. The only guy who ever pulled out his dick, the only ones who ever try to lick her ass, or finger her, or squeeze her tits, etc, etc. The worst she has told me about from a non-latin man is getting their hands on her tits, but not squeezing really hard. Now, to shed the paper thin veil of political correctness I have left, I am not talking about Spanish diplomats straight from Madrid, I'm talking about Mexican men. Is this a universal problem, does anyone agree with me or disagree, does anyone think my woman might be having problems with other men and is just racist? Thoughts, opinions, questions...
    I have your back, so get ready for the flaming we are bound to recieve.

    I absolutely agree with you and your GF on this one. I have been dancing on and off for 18 years (EGAD!) and have had all kinds of porblems with all kinds of guys. BUT . . . the vast majority of the grope-grab-pinch-prod offenders have been th4e types you are describing. These same guys are also CHEAP BASTARDS, smelly and dirty. Now mind you, I am NOT saying that all gentlemen of mexican descent are grabby, smelly, and cheap, but that the SAME guys who are dirty and smelly are ALSO going to be grabby and ultimately cheap. I have NEVER had a guy who appeared to have jsut roled off the back of a manure truck eiter behave like a gentleman toward me OR give me a great tip. (On second thought, when I did lingerie shows in bars at lunchtimes, in bars with names like "Workingman's Palace" . . . but that was a little different!)

    But then...if the fellow does not have the sense to clean himself up properly before going out to spend the evening with pretty girls, what can you expect???

    Your GF would do better to steer clear of ANYBODY she would rather not dance for, and to be VERY strict with enforcing her boundaries. Before long, she will be able to sense when an unwelcome had is coming her way, and be able to dance away from it.


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  10. #35
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    We actually got into an argument about this recently, since she has described to me that ways she usually plays off grabby guys, but as all the major problems came from the "types previously mentioned" (funny how we try to be respectfull to them even when they don't have a shred of it for you girls) I was a bit upset the other night when she told me about a guy who got a hold of her tits and squeezed real hard. I was upset since I would think she would steer clear of these guys since maybe one in a hundred are well behaved, and like you said they are cheap, usually trying to barter her down in price for dances, and she got a measly extra $20 for letting this asshole get a hold of her like that. I had to question why she would do that, since to me it's also is a bit of an insult to me for her to take the chance on this guy for $20 when she is almost certain something like that would happen. Thoughts?

  11. #36
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    In my experience, the mexicans were grabby, but controlable. For me, the Arabs (Middle Eastern men) were the absolute worst! They have no clue what it means to be respectful to a woman. A mexican...I would just threaten with the bouncer. I had an ME man, who when I threatened with the bouncer say, "In my country, you would be stoned to death." I started laughing and said, "Yeah, but we're not in YOUR country. So, keep your fucking hands by your sides, keep your tongue in your mouth, and if you attempt to touch me in any way, I'll make sure the bouncer fucking make sure you kiss the goddamn pavement on the way out. Got it?" He was ok after that. BUT...I would NOT turn my back on him.

    Of course, there's always the spectrum...I've had rich, little white boys who just didn't know when to quit. Mexicans who were completely respectful, Arabs who adored me...so...

    In this business, it's always the Divine Dichotomy.

  12. #37
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    She needs to establish her boundaries From the beginning. Bargaining for dances? Forget it. The price of a dance is the price of a dance. If all the girls are charging the same for a dance, then they will get over tht pretty quickly. All she has to say is, dances are $20 (or whatever) no exceptions. If they argue, walk away. Then she should try to get paid UP FRONt if at all possible, pocket the money, and clearly explain the rules. "You may touch my waist, legs and back (Pointing and nodding with a big happy smile) but you MAY NOT touch my breasts, pussy or ass (pointing and shaking head NO with BIG disapproving frown. ) Got it? If you break the rules, THE BOUNCER WILL THROW YOU OUT. Got it?"

    Then she needs to follow through. NEver mind about the 'cant speak english bullshit. If they got far enough to buy a dance, they speak enough english.

    Don't be too hard on her. On a slow night, I will go back to a guy 3 or 4 times, even if I know he is wasitng my time/being an asshole/playing the "later" game, just to have something to do or so nobody can accuse me of not hustling. Just think, if ALL the other girls were working and she had jsut run out of options, what should she do? Sit on her ass and not approach somebody, or give it a shot?

    Shit happens in this business; try not to take it so personally. have you ever worked in sales? Retail? Fast Food? Then you know that sometimes, for whatever reason, you have to work with a customer who, in real life you would cross the street to avoid. Same in SC land. Try to sympathise with your girl wehn she runs into assholes, not get upset with her for doing her best and trying to make a buck!


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    --Agnes De Mille

  13. #38
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    when it happens, they get a slap, if they are really drunk and have lots of cash, ill play it....."ohhh you cant do that, im gonna have to make you pay $X for that ( usually 50-100$$) or ill get the bouncer to deal with you" blah blah, freak them out into giving me the cash... then kick them out of the room and say sorry dance is over anyways, then inform the bouncer, and get them kicked out too! muhahaha oh im such a bitch


    actully, ive ont done the twice... ive been lucky

  14. #39
    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    A stern lecture IS appropriate. You need to inform them that women's soft bits are very delicate and jamming up there isn't going to get him anywhere.
    Can you tell I danced in Houston for a while, LOL?
    I like that soft bits line. I'll have to use that one.
    I always have to tell guys to keep their hands away from the area of the kitty and of course no boob mashing, no pinching and no biting.
    Yes, I work in Vegas and out here we have to deal with guys like that all of the time. The nipple pinchers are the worst. I would love to beat the f'kn crap out of those bastards.
    RAPE is RAPE! Why can't we prosecute these bastards?
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

  15. #40
    Veteran Member Jayln's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    In my experience, the mexicans were grabby, but controlable. For me, the Arabs (Middle Eastern men) were the absolute worst! They have no clue what it means to be respectful to a woman.

    I agree completely. I cannot stand most of the Arab men I have run into at strip clubs. They are absolutely rude, and I won't dance for them unless they approach me and ask. Their sense of entitlement is astounding. The Mexicans can be bothersome, but not as bad as the Arabs. Also, as a generality, I have poor experiences with men from India and Pakistan.
    For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

  16. #41
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    I got fired because I socked an 80 year old polish man in the face . He kept trying to touch me, and I kept giving him the "no no, naughty boy" type of stuff. He just kept on, with a furious persistance, and when he actually stuck his finger inside of me, I cracked a bone in his face, and it was well worth losing my job to teach the perv a lesson.

  17. #42
    Featured Member screaminpeachez's Avatar
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    Exclamation Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by tearstearstears
    All that TSS hype is baloney. It's almost impossible to get TSS from tampon use and there have been very few documented cases of it. Tampon manufacturers put a warning on the leaflet just in case anyone miraculously did get TSS and decided to sue them.

    If you use the lowest absorbancy and take it out after your shift (or about 6 hours max) you should be fine.
    while i am not entirely disagreeing with your statement, toxic shock is very real and we can't ignore the approximately 61 women who get it in America every year.
    61 people might seem like a small number unless (god forbid) it happen to you or your loved ones.

    i retrieved the following info from the CDC, all i say is use the info in the tampon boxes and protect those beautiful bods.




    Clinical FeaturesToxic shock syndrome (TSS) is characterized by sudden onset of fever, chills, vomiting, diarrhea, muscle aches and rash. It can rapidly progress to severe and intractable hypotension and multisystem dysfunction. Desquamation, particularly on the palms and soles can occur 1-2 weeks after onset of the illness.



    Etiologic AgentUsually exotoxin producing strains of Staphylococcus aureus, a bacterium.IncidenceIn the United States, annual incidence is 1-2/100,000 women 15-44 years of age (last active surveillance done in 1987).

    Sequelae5% of all cases are fatal.

    TransmissionS. aureus commonly colonizes skin and mucous membranes in humans. TSS has been associated with use of tampons and intravaginal contraceptive devices in women and occurs as a complication of skin abscesses or surgery.

    Risk GroupsMenstruating women, women using barrier contraceptive devices, persons who have undergone nasal surgery, and persons with postoperative staphylococcal wound infections.

    SurveillanceNational surveillance is conducted through the National Electronic Telecommunications System for Surveillance (NETSS). The last active surveillance was in 1987 in four states with a total population of 12 million.

    ChallengesTo describe the current epidemiology of TSS in the United States by conducting active surveillance. To better define the risk factors of nonmenstrual TSS to design prevention strategies.
    December 2003







    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
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  18. #43
    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl
    Word got around what happened and I got a call of apology from management but I was screwed up fpr A MONTH. Couldnt work, go out...Felt Id been sexually abused.
    You are not the only one who has had a guy sexually assault her at work. It's a really terrible thing that in this day and age, dancers who are the victims of a violent sexual assault are treated as criminals.

    The criminal, who commits the crime of violent sexual assault, should be arrested; not the victim!

    For some reason it's suppossed to be ok for a criminal to violently assault a working class woman who is on the job (especially if she works at a strip club). Just as long as he doesn't sexually assault someone who is worthy of protection- right?

    How come the National Organization for Women does not take any interest in helping working class women who really need help from those evil corrupt politicians and and their evil corrupt nazi pigs? Maybe they should change their name from N.O.W. to N.O.R.W. (national organization for RICH women).

    Unfortunately for us dancers, it's the victims who get arrested and fired; while the criminals are free to violently assault as many working women as they desire.
    Isn't it amazing that we actually have the nerve to accuse the people of 3rd world countries as being uncivilized for treatment of the working class women. The U.S. Aristocracy is no better than the aristocracy of any of those so called uncivilized countries.
    Last edited by livenudegirlsunite; 03-09-2005 at 06:14 PM.
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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    You had been...
    I have worked with many dancers who allowed this. Do I try to stop it? Fuck no--I'm way too busy to worry about that shit, unless they ask me to walk by VIP frequently if they know the guy's gonna get grabby.

    .
    Are you security in a club? Well if you are its your JOB to man the lapdance area for the dancers security. To say that you would just ALLOW any girl to be fingered while doing a lapdance is crap. I guess you think the same as the security who was at my club, that he should sit on his ass and not be bothered about girls getting abused and maybe even worse raped because they must have been looking for it. Crap.

    Also yes, I have encountered a LOT of Arab men at work and they are overwhelmed by the freedom of strip clubs and feel that becuase we take our clothes off that we are open to everything no matter what we say. If we get naked for money then we must be whores also and they treat us accordly. They ARE the most disrespectful a-holes to women.
    Mexicans on the other hand, it seems to be the ones from one side of Mexico (the short guys) that act like perverts while the the guys froma different part who are generally taller in stature seem to have different morals and treatwomen respectfully.

  20. #45
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl
    Mexicans on the other hand, it seems to be the ones from one side of Mexico (the short guys) that act like perverts while the the guys froma different part who are generally taller in stature seem to have different morals and treatwomen respectfully.
    Yes, this is true. SOmebody explained it to me once. the shorter guys are from (if I remember correctly) the more southern part of Mexico, closer to south america. THe taller guys are from the northern part, and are more americanized. The northern contingent believes the southernes are idiots, and the southerners think the northerners snobs!

    It's a weird, weird, weird world, isn't it?


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  21. #46
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl
    Are you security in a club? Well if you are its your JOB to man the lapdance area for the dancers security. To say that you would just ALLOW any girl to be fingered while doing a lapdance is crap. I guess you think the same as the security who was at my club, that he should sit on his ass and not be bothered about girls getting abused and maybe even worse raped because they must have been looking for it. Crap.
    lolololol...if you only knew.

    Sorry, I'm NOT laughing AT you...but you are so mistaken--it's not your fault, though.

    I am a DJ, it's not my job to watch out for scumbags and perverts. But since so many bouncers seem to be useless, sometimes the girls come to me to help them out...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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  22. #47
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    My second week dancing ever, I had a guy try to pull that shit. That motherfucker got slapped so hard the red mark was still on his face when he got thrown out. It's NOT cool in the thoughts of 87.93% of dancers.

    I have a hard time even letting a guy's hand near my hips anymore unless I guide them because of that shit.

    It's just not part of my job description.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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  23. #48
    Featured Member screaminpeachez's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    most of those guys probably dont even wash their hands when they leave the bathroom. (eeewww)
    not to mention all the bacteria in the bar.

    when i do dances ( i mostly work at "light contact bars") i hold their hands so their fingers don't do the walking. (and use alot of waterless hand soap which i keep in my purse)
    i also always watch their mouth of course some of them are gonna try to put your nipple in their mouth.
    even if they just put their lips around it you can recieve bacteria through the open pore in nipple that connects directly to your milk ducts. nasty
    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
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  24. #49
    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    I would like to know what are these perverts are thinking about when they actually try to stick their dirty fingers inside a defenceless naked woman's body.As far as I'm concerned that's rape.In my 10 yrs on stage in different clubs I haven't witnessed this phenomenon much,but I know it exists.In my experience the guys that will be the most disrespectful are the ones who are spending the least,they are trying to get more "bang for their buck".That's understandable,but physically sexually assulting somebody weaker than you?So if they actually get hit back ,they deserve it at the least.

  25. #50
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finger Friendly??

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl
    Are you security in a club? Well if you are its your JOB to man the lapdance area for the dancers security. To say that you would just ALLOW any girl to be fingered while doing a lapdance is crap. I guess you think the same as the security who was at my club, that he should sit on his ass and not be bothered about girls getting abused and maybe even worse raped because they must have been looking for it. Crap.
    Sorry Charly, I have to laugh at this a little. Djoser isn't a bouncer, he's a DJ. So actually he's going above and betond the call of duty (so to speak), when he does patrol the back rooms. He NEVER said he would allow a girl to get fingered. He said he would check them out if a girl asked him to.

    We have good security at my home club. And one of the bouncers is always at the door to the VIP, and with the mirrors, he can see everything going on in there.

    I didn't mean to single you out like that, I just had to laugh a little. Djoser is one of the coolest and caring guys I haven't actually met yet.

    Kitana
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