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Thread: Marriages

  1. #1
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Marriages

    Most of them, barely last forever. I'm starting to think what's the point.

  2. #2
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    It can be worth it......Can be (are the keywords here). Is it always? No. Can you be burned? Most likely. Divorce rate is extremely high in this country. I sometimes think people get married for the wrong reasons or they in time forget the true meaning of the real reasons they did in the first place.

    I wouldn't form your opinion about what you see around you concerning marriage, relationships, etc. Everyone is different, and everyone makes mistakes in their own ways. Just because Tod's marriage failed doesn't mean Susan's marriage will fail.

    If you run from everything because you're scared it won't work, You're going to miss out on a lot of life.

    On that note....

    I feel bad for whatever poor sucker that marries me in my next life.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  3. #3
    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I work at a law office and yes i think just like you Vyanka but at the same time i think thats why you have to wait and not rush things and not just get married cause u wanna be married or have a wedding, dress, etc. or because all your friends are married. It takes time to find Mr. Right. i'm still waiting.

  4. #4
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Dammit Rose, you're so fucking hot & right....lets make out.
    Seriously, I do agree with you on that.


    I just see/hear about so many cases that I just started to wonder.

  5. #5
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Quote Originally Posted by Stipperella
    It takes time to find Mr. Right.
    Exactly....

  6. #6
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Eh. You can have healthy relationships and even healthy marriages. I doubt I ever will because well.......Errr.......Yeah.

    It's possible and happens often.

    Don't let your fears stop your future

    As for the making out part.......



    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  7. #7
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Well, it's about 50/50, so you take your chances, right? I don't know; I know some couples who have stayed together. My grandparents are having their 50th this month (and it was my grandmother's 2nd marriage; she was a young widow). My brother-in-law's parents are still together; four kids and about 35 years.

    Then again, my fiance's dad is on his third marriage, and I have friends my age who are already on #2.

    I mean, you are going to feel like, "what's the point" until you're in a relationship you feel really confident about. Marriage certainly never occurred to me as a viable possiblity until I was with someone I could see myself sharing my whole life with. And I don't know if it's so much "Wait until you meet the right guy" as it is "wait until you're in the right relationship."

  8. #8
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I totally don't know how you are supposed to know if the person you are with is really right. Yeah. I have issues and I'm totally confused. But I know I'm not ready to be married to the guy I'm with.

  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Marriage can be good!

    I have a role model, she was (at the time) 78 and married an 80 year old. THey both had their cars, homes, and kids by another marriage. But when they came together, they laughed, danced and just looked so fresh!

    He has since died. She is still going strong, and speaks of him with great pride!

    Btw, his kids got everything her husband owned. She and he married for LOVE.

    You're never too old. They had some great years together.

    This is why i will wait, even for a bf that feels right with me. He has to know about my past, and my plans. I am just not ready.

    I only put the cart before the horse!

    Pamela

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Cianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I've been single for 5 months now...but I'm having fun at work with the girls though. But then all we do is talk about the boys, it's a vicious circle!!

  11. #11
    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    IMHO, marriage rocks . I mean seriously, it's just about the best thing going... I know that there are lots of rocky relationships out there...but there are also lots of great ones. I've been married for almost 11 years now, and I can't imagine living without my wife. We're best friends, we do everything together...it's just good all over. Yeah, I've heard that 50% end in divorce--which sucks. But on the other hand, you can also wind up with something that becomes the most valuable, cherished part of your life. How can you give up on a chance for something like that?
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

  12. #12
    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I'm not ready yet. I'm still trying to finish college, and figure out who I am. I want to be happy in myself first, and then maybe I'll consider letting someone close enough to me to share my life with. I think people give up too much of themselves to be with someone else. I don't want to go out like that. I want to make sure I have no regrets, and live my life to the fullest of its potential before I go getting all ga ga over someone.

  13. #13
    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue
    I think people give up too much of themselves to be with someone else.
    Not if you find the right person. With the right person you become happier and more secure in the person who you are. The whole is more than the sum of its parts....
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

  14. #14
    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I'm definitely a relationship person. I like being in a serious relationship. Life is so much more fulfilling when you have a special someone to share it with. I'm not a notches-on-the-belt playa type... sex is fun sometimes in one-night-stands or short relationships, but it feels empty to me, like I may as well just use a vibrator. To screw someone just to say "I fucked her/him", is a bit shallow to me... I mean, so what???? So did half the town.... Not to say there's anything wrong with it, I just usually don't find cheap sex enjoyable. Marriage - I think that people should marry based on commonalities... If you find someone who adds to your life, makes you a better person, and someone you can honestly trust, you've hit a gold mine. But that is just what I'm looking for.... each person must find someone who has common goals and interests. I also think they should share the same moral values and ethics and ideas about what a relationship is. Ex/ one person who wants an open relationship and one who doesn't but who puts up with the one who does will never work bec. they one who doesn't want this will never be happy.
    Last edited by erotictonic; 03-03-2005 at 09:43 PM.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Traditional marriage wouldn't have worked for me.

    I think I have an intimacy problem. But I like my situation now

  16. #16
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t
    Traditional marriage wouldn't have worked for me.

    I think I have an intimacy problem. But I like my situation now
    Yep I agree I dig my arrangement, most likely would have been divorced by now if we went traditonal
    my advice for those looking for mr or ms right...STOP!Enjoy the life ya have and if you're not looking the right person will fall into your lap

  17. #17
    Member DantesDen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Traditional marriages? No way in hell...

    'A state of mind'

  18. #18
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Quote Originally Posted by Stipperella
    It takes time to find Mr. Right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    Exactly....

    And, even then...it's never "happily ever after". Scorpio and I have been together for almost 4 years...we have a 2 1/2 year old. We have a lot in common...we respect each other enormously...but, you know...there are STILL issues. If one or both parties is not willing to work on their own personal issues (we all got 'em) and the issues that being in a relationship brings...well, it'll all go downhill pretty fast. Divorce is just another way of saying, "I do not feel like looking at myself, my problems, nor do I feel like working on any of them. We don't get along...let's just get divorced and take our (even bigger) excess baggage elsewhere."

    Divorce is SOMETIMES the answer. But, if two people are truly committed to each other...they will not get divorced.

    It can and does work out...you just hear less about the successful ones than you do about the ones that end in flames and the massive fights over money, kids, etc. Of course...the ones that end like that can give you a pretty good idea about how they acted IN the relationship. Sad.

  19. #19
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue
    I'm not ready yet. I'm still trying to finish college, and figure out who I am. I want to be happy in myself first, and then maybe I'll consider letting someone close enough to me to share my life with. I think people give up too much of themselves to be with someone else. I don't want to go out like that. I want to make sure I have no regrets, and live my life to the fullest of its potential before I go getting all ga ga over someone.
    The most important part of being in a relationship is finding someone who will not expect you to give any part of you away. You find someone who wants you to be exactly who you are and stay that way in the relationship.

    The only person to blame is the one giving themselves away. They do not understand what a relationship is. It should not be draining (sometimes it is...but not ALWAYS)...it should not be about losing who you are. When you find someone who understands that and wants that...it's just that much better.

  20. #20
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    when i was younger, i never thought i would be married. in fact, i was fairly opposed to the idea. but then i met the lovely miss wendy and, almost 13 years later, we're still going strong. sometimes, when all the kids are screaming and dinner needs to be made and blah blah blah i ponder what life would be like without all of this, yeah....but man she rocks my socks. i have to agree with what several people have said. it's all about mutual respect. i am who i am and she has never tried to change that, and vice versa. i wouldn't say we have a "traditional" marriage either, but it definitely works for us. there's someone out there for everyone, maybe several someones, who knows? it will find you when you stop looking. and hey, even if we got divorced tomorrow, it's been a beautiful ride and i wouldn't change it for anything. not getting married just for fear of getting divorced seems like you're getting a bit ahead of yourself., and a bit defeatist as well.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Marriages

    I heard someone once say, one step to financial success is stay married ! If you have your doubts dont even try and always remember give and take , very simple I know but effective .

  22. #22
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Well, I just got married... a week ago... it is my second marriage, and his second marriage as well..

    First and foremost, you just "know" when things are right with whomever you are with, and you dont' HAVE to get married.. its a choice that both parties should make together.. the way I look at things now vs how I did the first time I got married is a lot different.

    I chose my husband and he chose me. We WANTED to get married, we could have waited a while, which was the original plan, but we both knew that the other person is what we wanted and what felt right.

    He is my best friend. He totally rocks my world. (and no, this is not a honeymoon phase, as he and I don't believe in "phases" of relationships)- since we have been together, we have not had any type of argument- we have had DISCUSSIONS. We communicate about everything... our ways are not typical, but, we have a few rules...we are also not traditional in the slightest and that is our choice.

    Because of my first marriage, I told him a few things:

    1. THis is the way I am
    2. You have to tell me when you have a problem with something I do, or something I say etc.
    3. You have to trust me and take the risk for us to discuss things in order to correct the issue at hand.

    Relationships are all about taking a risk, and trusting the other person with not putting their intent before their feelings. Recognize the feeling of the matter first, send the message and then the intent is obvious.


    [/URL]
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  23. #23
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Marriages

    Same type of thing here, Gynger. Second marriage for both me and the Hubby. We both refer to our first marriages as "dress rehearsals". Whatever we know we did wrong in the first marriages, we cut out of ours. Anything else, we sort out as we go. We still deal with issues here and there, and we'll be married 3 years on the 20th of this month. That's already beaten his first marriage (which lasted only less than a year). My first marriage was 7 years.

    We knew eachother very well before we married. Spent a year as very good friends, and then after a little over a year of dating, we decided to get married. He knew who I was and how I was then, and knew that it wasn't possible to change me, even if he wanted to.

    I think that I can count the number of arguments we've had (including heated and loud arguments) on one hand. What's funny, is we don't fight over BIG things. We fight over little tiny things, like his snoring, or my neat-freak tendencies.

    Bottom line is it's a commitment that takes dedication, communication, and it takes the both of you to make it work. There's no rule carved in stone that you have to get married. My husband knows full-well that I don't need him in order to survive, I want him. I choose him, and he chooses me.

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