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Thread: Dancers vs."Normals"?

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    Dancers vs."Normals"?

    SCJs--
    After spending considerable amounts of time around strippers, and perhaps even dating a few, do you ever have trouble going back to the "normals"? That is, women who work 9 to 5 and actually keep their clothes on during the course of a working day...women who like it missionary style and spit rather than swallow.... women who can't shut down a drunken asshole with a single, well-timed withering insult....women who can't name a favorite porn star off the top of their heads....women who can't tell you interesting Tales from the Dark Side??? I'm not just talking about the sexual intrepidness, I'm talking about the whole package.

    I don't mean to stereotype strippers here--I'm basing these generalizations on many years in the biz...and I think most of us can agree that there are certain personality traits that tend to be present to a greater degree in dancers than in other women:
    independence, rebelliousness, a certain raw vitality, a raucous sense of humor, often a fierce, original intelligence...I'd venture to say that dancers have a tendency toward the mercurial, no? (I have a feeling that some of you would be willing to opine on the more negative aspects of common stripper personality traits, but I won't go there right now )

    My question is: Am I stereotyping the "normals" too much, or do you really find there to be a difference? And if so, which do you prefer in your life outside the SC?

    -Nic

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    My opinion may be slightly effected by the fact that I am in my late 40's and the dancers I am friendly with (both inside and outside of clubs) are all pushing or past 30, with one having just turned 40. It takes a fair amount of independance and self confidence and a strong sense of self-worth for a woman to be a dancer at that age. I can't speak for the younger guys out there but I wouldn't have any interest in a woman who couldn't leave her stripper personna inside the club when she was done working. Though I agree that some of the qualities that make woman a good dancer can also make her an interesting companion, I have learned over the years that what titilates a customer in the SC environment does not always make for good company OTC.

    I guess I would say that "normals" may not be as interesting as some of the dancers I've met. But, then again, being a dancer isn't usually the part thats interesting.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    I can't speak for the younger guys out there but I wouldn't have any interest in a woman who couldn't leave her stripper personna inside the club when she was done working.
    I know what you're saying, but....well....here's the thing: I am definitely much more low-key outside the clubs, because I'm not in "performer mode", (i.e. I definitely leave my 'stripper persona' behind) but still, there are certain things about my sensibilities that made me the kind of girl who took to stripclubs like a duck to water....I felt at home in them right away. I'm talking about those qualities and sensibilities, not the work persona.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    I guess I would say that "normals" may not be as interesting as some of the dancers I've met. But, then again, being a dancer isn't usually the part thats interesting.
    Right....Again, I'm talking about the whole package, not the profession itself.

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    I've never really dated strippers (with one brief exception 20 years ago), but I find that the types of women I am attracted to (including my awesome wife) tend to have a liberalism about them that I would associate with a stripper persona. Even if I were not happily married, I could never be with a prudish, uptight woman. I have little patience for the typical American puritan attitude towards sex.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Interesting, DeepGreen....so am I stereotyping non-dancers? Or do you think your wife is exceptional in her "liberalism"?

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    Interesting, DeepGreen....so am I stereotyping non-dancers? Or do you think your wife is exceptional in her "liberalism"?
    I think for the average non-dancer, it may be a stereotype based in truth. Most people out there are, IMO, fairly sexually repressed. However, there are folks out there who tend to view sexual issues in a more relaxed way. BTW, I do think my wife is exceptional...but that's another matter!

    Seriously, though, I would not consider us to be exceptionally sexually liberal--I mean we are strictly monogamous, for example. However, she loves SCs and heading off to get LDs by herself or with me. We are totally comfortable with the fact that we can find other people very attractive--and in fact laugh at each other when we realize that there is a little crush going on. (She actually points out women to me who she knows I will find attractive, because she loves to watch my reaction.) It's a very comfortable situation. I don't see that level of comfort in many relationships, it seems.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by DeepGreen
    Even if I were not happily married, I could never be with a prudish, uptight woman. I have little patience for the typical American puritan attitude towards sex.
    I'm with you on this DG. Which may explain my long-time preference for dancers (and women in general) from almost anywhere else in the world except North America. There is a huge difference between displaying over-the-top sexuality vs. SENSUALITY - a subtle quality that seems more easily found in women who where not raised in a repressed culture.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Scary question, Nocilina. Sad to say, "normals" don't make it for me anymore.
    Normal dancers don't make it for me anymore, either. I only care about cute little freaks now.

    I need an adorable girl with a light whole-body tan, completely shaved, wanting to play rough and go out of control. I like the emotional swings from "I love you so much" to "I fuckin HATE you" and back again. I love cowgirls who say "Make believe you don't know me" so they can reload faster.

    The saving grace with "normals" is that you can trust some of them, but trust doesn't mean that much to me anymore.

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    I don't really make any distinction between dancers and non-dancers. They're all young women, some work one place, others work somewhere else. Some appeal to me, others don't. Some I find interesting, others I don't. I don't think that where they work necessarily defines who they are, although sometimes it does. For example I don't usuallly like career women and I especially don't usually care for female lawyers (or male ones either for that matter.) I'm an old guy who enjoys the company of young, attractive and intelligent women, and I find that the easiest place to meet and get to know them is in strip clubs. Most of the girls that I find attractive are only dancers temporarily anyway, then they'll be something else. I think of them as students or whatever they really are who happen to be dancing at the moment to pay their bills. And I usually admire them for having the guts to do it.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    A woman with a shapely onion that almost looks organically grown is a woman kept close and dear to my heart whether normal or not.


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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL
    Most of the girls that I find attractive are only dancers temporarily anyway, then they'll be something else. I think of them as students or whatever they really are who happen to be dancing at the moment to pay their bills. And I usually admire them for having the guts to do it.
    I used to feel that way. I wish I could feel that way again, but once you go to SCJ hell, there's no way back.

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    After spending considerable amounts of time around strippers, and perhaps even dating a few, do you ever have trouble going back to the "normals"? That is, women who work 9 to 5 and actually keep their clothes on during the course of a working day...women who like it missionary style and spit rather than swallow.... women who can't shut down a drunken asshole with a single, well-timed withering insult....women who can't name a favorite porn star off the top of their heads....women who can't tell you interesting Tales from the Dark Side??? I'm not just talking about the sexual intrepidness, I'm talking about the whole package.
    i think, yoda raises an interesting point. i'll agree with your premise in the sense that there are some customers (and strippers) who believe that strippers are somehow significantly "different" than "normal" women that goes beyond having the ability to take off their clothes in front of strange men. there are customers who have this perception of strippers that is akin to infatuation. i think most of it is due to some idealized notion in his head and the image that a sc (and a stripper) actively promotes.

    in any case, i'm uneasy comparing strippers to "normals". it's a bit of a fallacy to wax poetic about the virtues of strippers in this type of comparison. familiarity does breed contempt. so, if a customer is spending only couple of hours with a woman who's putting her best foot forward and catering to his ego. his perception of her is bound to be distorted when he compares them to "normals" and even if he's sees her OTC. it doesn't necessarily follow that she has turned off that switch.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    and I think most of us can agree that there are certain personality traits that tend to be present to a greater degree in dancers than in other women: independence, rebelliousness, a certain raw vitality, a raucous sense of humor, often a fierce, original intelligence...I'd venture to say that dancers have a tendency toward the mercurial, no? (I have a feeling that some of you would be willing to opine on the more negative aspects of common stripper personality traits, but I won't go there right now
    what negative aspects? oh, you mean like the predisposition towards flakiness. seriously, i'm not sure about the degree, but i agree with your statement. however, you could probably find those same traits among "normal" female coeds. except they just choose not to take their clothes off in front of strange men. well, except on a 'Girls Gone Wild' video shoot during spring break.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    My question is: Am I stereotyping the "normals" too much, or do you really find there to be a difference? And if so, which do you prefer in your life outside the SC?
    probably, but that's okay. i won't hold it against you. years ago, i was talking to this stripper. i don't exactly remember what the conversation was about. anyway, at one point during the coversation she said something along the lines that "strippers are better looking than most women". fortunately, she didn't see me give her a double take after she made that statement.


    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    I am definitely much more low-key outside the clubs, because I'm not in "performer mode", (i.e. I definitely leave my 'stripper persona' behind) but still, there are certain things about my sensibilities that made me the kind of girl who took to stripclubs like a duck to water....I felt at home in them right away. I'm talking about those qualities and sensibilities, not the work persona.
    so, is your way saying that if i ask you out. you still won't show up on time. if at all?
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    I used to feel that way. I wish I could feel that way again, but once you go to SCJ hell, there's no way back.
    I had a feeling you'd know what I was talking about Sporty

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    what negative aspects? oh, you mean like the predisposition towards flakiness.
    now, now, doesn't "mercurial" sound so much nicer?
    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    however, you could probably find those same traits among "normal" female coeds. except they just choose not to take their clothes off in front of strange men.
    i dunno, i go to school with a lot of co-eds and from what i can tell, they're not like my dancer friends in a lot of respects....i personally feel kinda uncomfortable among the 'normals,' even though you might not guess i was a freak by cursory visual examination

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    so, is your way saying that if i ask you out. you still won't show up on time. if at all?
    lol, mr punk...you're not the only guy i know who complains about strippers and punctuality. Let's just say I'm improving...

    I'll get to the rest of your post later (tons of HW to do! SW is a terrible distraction! Must be disciplined!)
    -Nic

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    How about the girls I know who used to be strippers but now do something else? Are they strippers or normals? The only real difference I see is that they've matured as they've gotten older. Other than that I don't think they've changed all that much. And I don't see much difference between them and girls who haven't been strippers. I think you could make similar generalizations about girls (or men for that matter) in any field - they take on attributes common to that field but tend to lose them with time if they leave the field. Aren't we all like that?
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    now, now, doesn't "mercurial" sound so much nicer?
    yes, but the word 'flaky' is such an apt description.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    i dunno, i go to school with a lot of co-eds and from what i can tell, they're not like my dancer friends in a lot of respects.
    perhaps, you're meeting the wrong people. if you're hanging around the other geeks and eggheads in math and sciences. you may not see those traits a lot. OTOH, if you hang around the art amd music department. you might see a different type of crowd. besides, from what i can recall from my undergrad years back in the stone age. most of those math and science broads didn't know what to do with a penis unless the instuctions were written on a slide rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    lol, mr punk...you're not the only guy i know who complains about strippers and punctuality.
    oy vey, if that were my only problem. i should be so lucky. it seems as if that's only the tip of the iceberg with some of them.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    I used to feel that way. I wish I could feel that way again, but once you go to SCJ hell, there's no way back.
    C'mon Sporty. Dancers make it out all the time. You can too, but only if you want to.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    To me, dancers for the most part aren't any more sexual than the average civilian gal. In some cases, I'd say even less so. Most dancers I know are just "normals" who just ran into a bind where they needed some money fast, so they strapped on some stillettos, found out what the biz was really about and decided they were good at doing it, so they kept with it.

    Now do I think that being a stripper changes a woman over time? Well that depends on the gal. The one thing that always gets me about so many dancers is how their perspective regarding money changes, and usally not for the better. I think thats the primary reason that so many dancers have a hard time giving up the job.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Miss D has incredible magnetism. As you know, we do OTC lunches etc all the time. Invariably, she will draw the bartender and oftentimes other patrons into conversation as were sitting there. Its really fun to watch her work the crowd...she cant help herself

    If my life circumstances were different, Id be all over it

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Normal chicks have never appealed to me because they always seem to want me to apologize for my own predilections.

    I won't comment on my experience with dancers.
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    During the past seven years I have lived with and dated strippers and women involved in the porn business ranging in age from 22 to 49. Since I have been posting on this board I have had the pleasure of a couple of ladies who also post here. It has been a mixed bag, in my experience the strippers do not swallow with any more frequency than normal women do. Nor were the strippers any better in bed. It was easier to talk about the dark side and I felt more at home not having to hide any of my cinematic past or other adventures.

    I have changed. I used to think lesbians were chic now there are so many pseudo lesbians (every young woman must think a lesbian event in her life is like a rite of passage) that I think they are passe.

    I used to think thin women were beautiful, now I think they are disturbed.

    I don’t like tattoos anymore nor do I like piercings anymore. Tongue rings used to tantalize me now they make me ill. I used to get excited about going to swing clubs, now its just another night out. I would rather listen to blues and lose myself in somebody else’s troubles.

    When the dancers got tired of the grope grind and groan I hired them at the restaurant. As a group they had a hard time getting to work on time and in a condition ready to work. I still have a couple of six packs of red bull in the storeroom.

    As much as I don’t like to stereotype I found it fascinating to watch them dance and hustle after we had had sex. It was a strange erotic mixture of jealousy and pride. If I bought a dance from another dancer all hell would break loose.

    I have had a lifetime of drama in the past two years if that is what mercurial means. However there is a unusual quality of truth that one finds rarely in dancers and almost never in normals that I appreciate and in fact am almost addicted to. Nicolina has it and a couple of others I have read on this forum.

    I am going on a business trip to Chiang Mai Thailand soon and I would never take a normal. A stripper would be a fun companion.

    The last stripper I went out with was a tragic comedy. She is 26, was 4 hours late for the date. I had gone to bed when my phone rang. She pranced in on her cell phone to important people all over the world. Talking to this one and that one as she adjusted her makeup talked to me and peed at the same time. She was drunk, it wasn’t good. It was interesting.

    She didn’t know I knew her and her boss at her day job and her parents. She would have but the booze and drugs had taken a toll on her mind. As she was dressing to leave I said "Say hi to John for me", her dad. Then she remembered, and made a paranoid run for her SUV. Lotta drama. Maybe I like it. Maybe I am just used to it. Maybe next time it will be better. Maybe next time I will get the stripper with the golden heart who wants to take care of me as much as I want to take care of her.

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    I guess it comes down to weather you are hanging with "strippers" or just women who strip. These flighty, self-important, late for everything types are just not the dancers that I have known. Sure I SEE them at the clubs I go to but that type of drama has zero appeal to me. They set off an alarm with me within a few minutes of starting a conversation-which I try to short-circuit as soon as possible. I wouldn't say the ladies I preffer are boring but I would have to say that they are normal. Dancing is a job, not a lifestyle to them. Fortunately for all of us, there are enough of both types to keep us all satisfied, whatever our preference may be.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    C'mon Sporty. Dancers make it out all the time. You can too, but only if you want to.
    It's okay if he doesn't want to. I think Sporty and I have the same taste in women.

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    I'm really digging all of these replies--thanks, guys! Interesting that none of the ladies have weighed in.

    I'm afraid I don't know how to quote from different replies in the same post (duh...I'm a science geek but a bit of a technophobe), but I'll try to respond to some of you...
    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL
    How about the girls I know who used to be strippers but now do something else?
    But FONDL, I AM one of those girls. And I really kind of believe that you can take the girl out of the stripclub but you can't take the stripclub out of the girl. I am able to act appropriately most of the time among the 'normals', in fact you'd have to get to know me fairly well to see my Dark Side (or at least get me drunk )....but I just don't feel particularly comfortable here in the straight world. I feel out of place. This despite the fact that I have been known to show up for dates on-time! Sober, even.

    I'm not sure which comes first. Spending 13+ years in stripclubs certainly affected my sensibilities, but really I think I was comfortable in stripclubs because of who I was when, still a teenager, I walked into my first one. Again, I am not one of those walking-disaster psycho-strippers--that's not even what I'm talking about here (there are always a few at every club and most of us learn pretty quickly to steer clear....) I'm talking about something more subtle, I guess.

    Maybe things have changed, though. When I started dancing in the late eighties, there was no such thing as stripper chic...The stereotype of a dancer was different back then--an older, used-up broad, NOT a hot-bodied, surgically-enhanced 25-year-old putting herself through law school at Columbia. My point is that MAYBE these days stripping seems like a more viable temporary career choice for a 'normal'--is that possible?
    At the same time, the whole lapdance/mileage phenomenon has, IMHO, brought stripping a bit closer to prostitution....the requirements of the job have become a little more extreme (when I first started dancing, there was no such thing as "contact"...at least not in the first few clubs I worked. It was all stage dancing).

    I don't know. I'm confused. I'm also surprised that somebody (I can't remember who) said that dancers aren't any more open sexually than other women, and may be even less so. Find that kinda hard to believe....maybe you're hanging out with the wrong dancers!

    ok, back to work.
    more later
    -Nic

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    Default Re: Dancers vs."Normals"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    Normal chicks have never appealed to me because they always seem to want me to apologize for my own predilections.

    I won't comment on my experience with dancers.
    Now that's an intriguing post, CO. I do wish you'd elaborate.

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