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Thread: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

  1. #1
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Sad Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    I have a very good customer that I've had for a few months. Today we went for a dance and I mentioned that I don't like how he tries to touch me down there and he got all mad. He made me dance for him while he didn't touch me AT ALL, which was very awkward because I haven't danced for anyone lately and kind of forgot how. Also, I knew he was very upset, and he didn't even look me in the eye. He never keeps his hands off, and I don't mind because it feels good on my ass, I just wish he wouldn't try to go for the poon so much.

    So anyways, after like 3 or 4 songs he says he wants to go home. He took his money out to pay me and I told him not to because he came there for a good time and I ruined it for him. I didn't take his money, kissed him on the cheek and left. He left too.
    I ran into the changeroom crying, over I'm not sure what. I don't know if I was upset to have hurt his feelings, or upset over the potential money loss, or what.

    Anyways, I want to call him to apologize (I kept apologizing during and after the dance) or wait for him to call. If I don't call will he give up on me and move on to someone new? Or will he think I'm clingy if I do call him?

    He's a really good and polite guy, and I respect and like him very much. He doesn't gross me out or anything. I really wish he wasn't mad at me, but I don't know what to do.

    Help?

  2. #2
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Get some self-esteem! If you didn't like his behavior during dances, you need to speak up rather than continuing to do something you don't want to do. That would ultimately make you feel shitty, right? I don't see why you're concerned with hurting this guy's feelings; clearly he isn't concerned with yours.

    And what's with this "will he move on/think I'm clingy" stuff? He isn't someone you're dating, he is a customer. They come and go.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lolita86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Hun, you have every right to ask him not to touch you down there if it makes you uncomfortable. Why didn't you get his money after you danced for him? He owes you it, so get it! Stop acting like you care so much about if you 'hurt his feelings' for telling him you don't want your pussy touched. C'mon now.

  4. #4
    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    You didn't take the money? AAAAAAAAAAH!

    Don't call. If you really want him as a customer, approach him next time he's in the club and pretend nothing happened. Don't apologize. It's HIS fault. If he seems cold, move on. There are millions of men waiting to take his place.

    If anything, he should be apologizing to you. He was trying to make you a prostitute. That's uncool.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Meea, it sounds like maybe you've got some personal feelings for this guy that go beyond the professional relationship?

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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    If you dont like something a customer is doing, tell them. Bottom line. And take the $!!

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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by Meea
    He made me dance for him while he didn't touch me AT ALL, which was very awkward because I haven't danced for anyone lately and kind of forgot how.

    So anyways, after like 3 or 4 songs he says he wants to go home. He took his money out to pay me and I told him not to because he came there for a good time and I ruined it for him. I didn't take his money, kissed him on the cheek and left.

    Anyways, I want to call him to apologize (I kept apologizing during and after the dance) or wait for him to call. If I don't call will he give up on me and move on to someone new? Or will he think I'm clingy if I do call him?

    He's a really good and polite guy, and I respect and like him very much. He doesn't gross me out or anything. I really wish he wasn't mad at me, but I don't know what to do.

    Help?
    1) You can't be "made" to dance for anyone. If you don't want to do it, don't.

    2) Never put the cust's wants before your needs. You need that money. You are there to make money to feed and take care of yourself.

    3) You didn't ruin his time - he did by being innapropriate and making you feel uncomfortable. You did the right thing by standing up for yourself.

    4) Don't call him and stop apologizing. This guy's got you wrapped around his finger. You are not his little toy.

    5) He is NOT a "good and polite guy." You are not a prostitute that gets paid to let men finger you and I'm sure he knows that. Polite men don't put their fingers in you during a dance.

    I feel sorry for you, sweetie. It sounds like you have no self-esteem or self-respect. Please don't let men treat you this way. Worry about you first and foremost. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

  8. #8
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Yea, im with the other girls when i say that you need to gain some self esteem!!!

    You should have NEVER NEVER apologized for that. In fact, you should have thrown his ass out of the club!

    Keep your head up and dont expect anything less then a gentleman for dances!

  9. #9
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    Wow.. why are you apologizing? he should be apologizing not you. Hes the one thats disrespecting you.. if he doesent like it when whatever.. let him be a big baby...

    and in all honesty i porbably would of told him Hands off unless you want my knee in your balls!

    which i have done before and man does it work like a charm

    but either he will come around or he wont.. but i suggest you suck it up and move on then see what happends


    also when you are at a strip club you are there to make money.. when you are to be payed collect.. if they dont give it to you then you treat it like any other business would.. theft!

    ITS A JOB. Those people are potential clients.. they are money in your pocket and a check for the bills.. They dont know you.. you dont know them.. when I see someone i see a client.. not a friend not a boyfriend


    Client.

    you see where im goin with this?





    and dont get me wrong it is ok to have a friend or 2 from the club.. but not a regular..
    Last edited by tragic-beauty; 03-06-2005 at 11:21 AM.

  10. #10
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put my foot in my mouth, and now what?

    I read Meea's post a little differently.
    Quote Originally Posted by Meea
    I have a very good customer that I've had for a few months. Today we went for a dance and I mentioned that I don't like how he tries to touch me down there and he got all mad. He made me dance for him while he didn't touch me AT ALL, which was very awkward because I haven't danced for anyone lately and kind of forgot how. Also, I knew he was very upset, and he didn't even look me in the eye. He never keeps his hands off, and I don't mind because it feels good on my ass, I just wish he wouldn't try to go for the poon so much.

    So anyways, after like 3 or 4 songs he says he wants to go home. He took his money out to pay me and I told him not to because he came there for a good time and I ruined it for him. I didn't take his money, kissed him on the cheek and left. He left too.
    I ran into the changeroom crying, over I'm not sure what. I don't know if I was upset to have hurt his feelings, or upset over the potential money loss, or what.

    Anyways, I want to call him to apologize (I kept apologizing during and after the dance) or wait for him to call. If I don't call will he give up on me and move on to someone new? Or will he think I'm clingy if I do call him?

    He's a really good and polite guy, and I respect and like him very much. He doesn't gross me out or anything. I really wish he wasn't mad at me, but I don't know what to do.

    Help?
    Notice that she's had this customer for quite a while and apparently enjoys having him as a customer. It's not like he's some jerk that just walked in off the street and started grabbing for her kitty.

    Meea I see three possiblities:
    a) You think you may have romantic feelings for this guy.
    b) While you enjoy having this guy as a customer, his behavior occasionally makes you feel uncomfortable. After a while you decided to mention it.
    c) He's a total jerk. He's been leading you along all this time, trying to get you to "trust" him with one goal in mind.

    If the answer is a), you could call him up and tell him that. Be prepared though, the money will cease.

    The answer may be b). It's not uncommon for regulars to expect you to go a little further with them as time goes on. I would not call him. If he's as good a guy as you think, he will come back. When he does come back he'll probably act like nothing is wrong. Then you will know that he has agreed to accept your boundaries.

    Personally I tend to think the answer is c). I think you will see him in the club and next time he will be spending his money on a different girl. I think this is why you were upset. Deep down you realize that he's not as great a guy as you thought. So you misjudged him. It happens. Just move on, proud of yourself for finally standing your ground and that you didn't fall for his game.

    I would have definitely taken the money though. He knew your rules going into the dances. He owed you.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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