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Thread: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    After some recent posts I was inspired to write the below article. I wanted to offer it as a tribute to all you wonderful ladies in the same position as I, and also to all the wonderful customers and supporters here on SW that continue to encourage and enlighten me with their words. Thank You.

    When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws

    It’s eight o’clock, I probably should think about getting ready for work. Eat, shower, shave, just the usual routine. If I leave in thirty minutes I should make it in time for nine. Sound familiar? Only difference is its 8pm not 8am and I am heading to the club not the office. You see, my name is Jaime and I am an exotic dancer.

    I don’t know why society makes it so hard for me to openly what I do, why is stripper such a dirty word? It seems whether I am in the club or on the street I just can’t seem to hide my flaws.

    It all began after I borrowed some money off a friend for an overseas trip. On my return I realized I wasn’t going to be paying off my debt anytime soon on a $120 a week student allowance. So after a lot of thought I went down to the local club to strut my stuff.

    It’s been nearly four years since I first put on a pair of stilettos and hit the stage. During that time I have been in a fluctuating love/hate relationship with the industry and myself for being in it. But finally I am learning to take the good with the bad and use it to my advantage.

    In a perfect world I don’t think I would be in this line of work, but the worlds not perfect nor am I. All I can do is make the best with what I have got in the moment inside as well as outside the club.

    When in the club getting naked, you become so aware of your external faults and you soon learn all the tricks to cover them up: what lights to stand in, which to avoid, which colors to wear, how to wear them and if you are one of those girls that can get away with wearing booty shorts.

    You soon realize that if you smile sweetly enough or slant your head the right way nobody will notice the pimple coming up on your forehead or the bags under your eyes. If you provide a better, more enticing distraction your flaws will go unnoticed.

    That is at night time, when the lights are dark and the beer is flowing. Where I know how to work things in my favor. The real world, well that is something I am still working on.

    Most days I feel as if I am living two lives: one where I can control what people see in me and the other where my flaws are constantly mirrored back.

    I have no problem getting naked in front of a room full of strangers. Male, female, single, married I don’t care give me the right song and my 7” heels and I can pull anything off. But as soon as you take me off that stage, my flaws become apparent like never before. I feel like the world is staring at me with its finger pointing at me accusingly.

    Social gatherings are the perfect reflection of my imperfection. More often then not I am asked the question, “So what do you do?” in which I am left with two possible options: I can either be honest, own up to what I do and deal with the proceeding judgment. Or I can make up some other occupation that I have done in the past to avoid any confrontation or offence.

    When I am out with my partner, he prefers that I do the latter emphasizing my fitness past with no mention of any night job. This provides a clever cover so the nature of my true work goes undiscussed. He fears that even mentioning a night job will cause suspicion.

    So I smile politely and make up some story about teaching private classes to keep the peace, all the while my inner critic is screaming quite loudly, “Let me out, tell the truth!”

    This may my outwardly hide flaws for him and his friends, but it only acts to emphasize my inner flaws to me.

    The other alternative is to be honest, lay the clothes on the table and confess that I am, in fact, a dancer. On occasion when I have volunteered this information I feel a change of atmosphere immediately. I get a quick up and down scan with the eyes, looking at my less then perfect skin, my somewhat misplaced glamour and my short legs, “You’re a dancer?”

    In such situations I feel like I have a spotlight shone on me, no matter how I stand or slant I can’t hide from judgmental eyes. But who is judging who? Would I really feel this way if I could learn to accept my occupation? Learn to accept me?

    Living two lives is hard and you have to be constantly on your toes always watching what you say. Trying to remember who knows the real you and who you are hiding the truth from.

    I have come to the conclusion that there is always going to be someone who has a problem with me, whether it be with the clothes I am wearing (or not wearing), the way I speak, a dislike of my favorite pastime or an offence to my occupation.

    But you know what? I really don’t care anymore, gone are the days of treading carefully. I refuse to hide my flaws anymore. Why should I have to? Will it really matter in ten years if one person thinks poorly of me? Absolutely not.

    The most important thing in life is that you be proud of yourself and the choices you make. The sooner I can come to terms with, and accept what I do, the sooner everyone else can. Will my flaws still be flaws if I stop trying to hide them?

    I am beginning to see that in life there is only one person I need to please. That is me. I can see all my flaws and if I can learn to accept them then so can every body else. After all they are only flaws if I choose to label them so.

    I am a dancer. This is who am, this is what I do. Ask questions if you wish, but please keep your opinions to yourself as I am no longer interested.

    Kristi Lees
    03/04

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    Senior Member tearstearstears's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    That's a fantastic article, krys. I'm going to bookmark it and read it for when i'm feeling shit about myself and questioning whether i really want this as a job because of how other people will react if they found out.

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    Senior Member RUSTY's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Well done. Everyone seems to realize this at some point. Why should we be afraid of what makes us individual and special. I hope you continue to feel as strong and empowered as you do now.......all my best.
    RUSTY

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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Nicely done. Thank you for sharing.


    Samantha

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Wonderful, just wonderful. You captured my thoughts perfectly. I have the same struggle with my man too! Thanks for sharing!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Quote Originally Posted by tearstearstears
    That's a fantastic article, krys. I'm going to bookmark it and read it for when i'm feeling shit about myself and questioning whether i really want this as a job because of how other people will react if they found out.
    Thats a huge compliment tearstearstears, wow thanks I really hope it helps you.

    I am really pleased to hear you are enjoying it ladies, there are little bits of everyone from SW scattered throughout so I thought it was only fair to share it.

    Be brave, be strong, but most of all..... be yourself!!!

    k xo

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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Wow. I totally agree with you. Its very inspirational. And Krys you have everything to be proud of! If people judge you~us~ then we don't need them!

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    Veteran Member scarlett623's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Great article! Thanks for saying so well what so many feel inside.

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    Senior Member RockAngeL's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    I love the depth of the article. It shows perseverance.

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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    That was very beautiful. Thank you and well done.

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    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Brilliant article! Captured the "dancer's dilemma" perfectly. If people think poorly of us because of what we do then their opinion isn't worth worrying about. Fuck 'em, excuse the French.

  12. #12
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Great article. Its so true about feeling like your leading a double life.I have kids so I feel like I dont have the option of telling the truth. Im not embarrsed of what I do , I just dont want to complicate things for my sons.

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    Veteran Member ChocolateKiss's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    That is great, really touching.

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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    That was awesome to read...I felt the same way when I danced. That gives me a some more confidence in going back. Thanks a bunch!!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Quote Originally Posted by Thorn
    I wish you well, and please keep writing. You have a flair for it.
    Thank you so much Thorn

    And thank you ladies for taking the time to read and reply, it means alot

    k xo

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Thanks for that article you wrote Krys!

    It's moving, insiteful, and true. I just wish the stigma of being a dancer would end, but it won't.

    When I do tell someone, I am a dancer I get the same wierd looks and disbelief, but I usually fire back right at them with "Damn I'm not a lawyer so don't get mad or anything."

    Kitana
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana
    Thanks for that article you wrote Krys!

    It's moving, insiteful, and true. I just wish the stigma of being a dancer would end, but it won't.

    When I do tell someone, I am a dancer I get the same wierd looks and disbelief, but I usually fire back right at them with "Damn I'm not a lawyer so don't get mad or anything."

    Kitana
    I think the sooner more of us lovely, intelligent and smart ladies here on SW can start being more open and 'out of the closet' about what we do, the sooner the sterotypes can be broken down.

    But I am one to talk, its been four years and I am still working on it!! lol

    I think it isn't so much what goes on, but what doesn't go on that a lot of people are misinformed about.

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    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    I am immediatly printing it out and going to post it in the dressing room at work; this article is something EVERY dancer should read! Thanx Krys !
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

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    Senior Member Fathom7's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Inspirational and well written, Thanks for sharing it, it's a keeper.

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    very nicely done...

    thank you for sharing.


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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    wow krys, that was so well written and beautiful. I think you perfectly captured the feelings of a lot of women on this board, and the daily struggle that some of us have with accepting our "occupation," as well as our imperfections.

    Lovely. I am printing it out and hanging it on my bathroom mirror. Thank you for sharing!

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    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Thank you that was beautiful, I agree with Thorn you should definitly keep writing.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Quote Originally Posted by Thorn
    Someone agreed with me. Yippee!

    [I'm just going for the chucklie]

    Wishing well...
    Got the chucklie

    Thanks again for all the kind words.... it means alot that so many have found my words inspirational xo

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    Newbie katie1's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Hi, new here...anyways, I just wanted to say thank you! You have given me the confidence that I have been searching for.

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    Senior Member dgtlfnk's Avatar
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    Default Re: "When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws"

    Quote Originally Posted by krys
    When You Can’t Hide Your Flaws


    Kristi Lees
    03/04








    Quality words, Krys... from an obviously quality woman.

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