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Thread: The Mathematics of Life

  1. #1
    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Smiley The Mathematics of Life

    I know your ladies will enjoy this. Courtesy of a friend of mine from Myspace...

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart man + smart woman = romance

    Smart man + dumb woman = affair

    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit

    Smart boss + dumb employee = production

    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
    her at all.


    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
    willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
    cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
    same thing to them at funerals.


  2. #2
    Member bigblueyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mathematics of Life

    LOL, that was great...and also somewhat truthful. Ha, I shall have to use that last one next time I'm at a funeral!

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    Default Re: The Mathematics of Life

    Red, your insights are improving with time, like wine. This implies however that you were once a former grape, had the juice stomped out by a woman with big boots, and then aged in a barrel. Finally, you've became suitable for going out in public and making excellent posts in forums.
    *toasting a glass* BRAVO

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