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Thread: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

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    Member willow24's Avatar
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    Default Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I super like my new man! He's amazing, and i care about him alot. I dont want to hurt him by keeping my job a secret and telling him later. He might feel decieved in some way. But I dont want to tell him and (maybe) have him leave me.
    I really like my job. Its classy, no contact etc....But i dont him to get the wrong idea.
    He also lives in another state, and we have a long dstance relationship right now. In a few months (when he is done traveling for work) we plan on being much closer and may move in together.
    Im scared to tell him, but i dont want to keep secrets from him.
    I reallly really really like him and i can see us really going somewhere together in life, and i dont want to lose that.
    How would i go about telling him?

    A very worried (but not weeping) Willow

  2. #2
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    hmmm

    maybe just tell him, if he loves you enough, he wont find it an issue, if he leaves you cos of that, then maybe he wasnt worht the effort anyways, and ite better to find out sooner rather then later.

    maybe take him into the club on your night off, show him its ok, get him a lap dance with a girl you trust...he will see its nothing to worry about

  3. #3
    Member willow24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I would like to have him come in, but he's traveling until April. And he lives in Conneticut. I live in Chicago.
    His job is really stressing him out and i dont want to be another cause of stress for him. Do you think I should wait til he's done traveling and tell him when its a more relaxed time for him?

  4. #4
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    that might help.

    does he seem like the kinda huy who is understanding??

    you could drop a few hints too, until you actually break the news...ie " ohh my friend jenny went to a strip club last night she said it was so nice and classy" see what kinda response you get out of him, if hes got nagative views on such places, he will be harder to coax around

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    Senior Member honeygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I always tell. I have never really had a problem, with anyone after I told. I think if he finds out later, he might feel decieved.........honest beginnings are usually the best.
    Bands will make me dance..........

  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Tell him. And tell him immediately. Dancers spend enough time at work telling white lies to men. Build your personal relationships outside the club on the basis of full disclosure. Misunderstandings, suspicions, jealousy, etc. can crop up in any intimate relationship, but they can be especially toxic for dancers and their significant others. Best of luck.

    "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." --Rich Jeni.

    or,

    "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." --Mark Twain

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    Senior Member AmericanDreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Just my two cents but if you want him to be honest and open with you then you should be willing to do the same with him.

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    Member CrazyHorseGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    You have to tell him. Bottom line is if he loves you it won't bother him. If you hide it, it will just blow up somewhere down the road. Remember keeping secrets is NEVER good in a relationship!

  9. #9
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    If you want to call him other things in the future,like husband,life partner,etc,you should tell him IMO.

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    Member Heaven-Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Relationships are built on honesty so you should tell him. It would only create more problems not to be upfront and honest. If he can't handle your job-he isn't the guy for you

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    unless you plan on quitting very soon, yes you should tell him.


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    Featured Member screaminpeachez's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    that was one of the first few things i told my husband when i first met him

    it's not going to be a picnic. but, these days, with stripping everywhere, he'll probably understand.

    if not, what were your alternatives. lying forever??

    just tell him you didn't know what he'd say.
    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
    "GOD is LOVE, but get it in writing"- Gypsy Rose Lee

    http://www.myspace.com/screaminpeachez

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    You could always tell him that you're actually a serial killer........Once he chokes that down. You could say "Ha ha, I am kidding. I am a stripper".

    Once you get that powerful blow in, Ease the good news in.

    It works everytime! Well.......One out of 900 isn't bad.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Rose, you crack me up!!

    I agree that you should tell him. You must respect his choice of whether or not he wants to date a dancer. If he won't accept it now...chances are he won't accept it later. And, if you get that off your chest now, then you have that much less to worry about.

    Just be honest...and don't tell him like you are ashamed of being a dancer. Say it with pride...and see how he reacts. Even if he's not thrilled with the idea...at least he knows you were honest with him right off the bat.

    Good luck!

  15. #15
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    How in the hell do you get to boyfriend status without knowing that? No one I've ever dated even got past the initial conversation without me telling them.

  16. #16
    bostondancer
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Well I told my guy after we had been together and we were in love and it has ruined our relationship because he would prefur it if I quit and I had planned on it but its not that easy so it has upset him further . Are you preparred for him to ask youto quit ?? I am so heart broken right now and I hate that my dancing hurts someone I love so much ,he tries to be good about it saying things like I really want you to do whats best for you but it has strained our relationship to the breaking point . To me no job short of a major career ( ie: lawyers ,doctors , politicains )is worth hurting someone you love and that loves you . Every now and then I get defensive about the dacning because its not that bad and he does trust me but at the end of the day I only do it becuse its easy money and thats not worth much .

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    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Should you tell your new B-F you strip?.... YES. If you dont tell him now it will only get worse later on. It's not so much the job, it's the lie.
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    definitely tell him,the truth will come out sooner or later anyways,and your conciousness will be clear.

  19. #19
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    There is a right time for this sort of thing. It is when you are ready to get serious and he is getting ready to be serious.

    For a lot of guys, this is a pretty big deal. They don't want their friends to be saying "Hey man, your girl has a nice ass - we put a couple of dollars in there for ya."

    If your still in the curious stage, then don't bother - when you reach the friends and chumming around stage - it is getting to be that time. If you are sleeping together regularily - you REALLY need to tell him NOW.

  20. #20
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    A clear consciousness is a beautiful thing. Very Zen. (Don't mind my teasing; you already have one more language than I have.)

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    Member willow24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Thanks so much for the advise everyone!
    I will totally tell him. I really want to. We've been honest about everything so far, and i wouldnt like it if he kept a secret from me.
    Any guys out there been dissapointed to be dating a dancer?

  22. #22
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I will tell you, I have know
    my husband for almost 20 years, have been a couple about 5. When we started dating, I was working in a hospoial, then I taught school for a while. All that time, he was pissed b/c I wasn't a dancer. He loves my dancing and brags about it to everyone.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  23. #23
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I think so=he already knows she has to tell him and even said she wanted to.

    Her question was HOW TO TELL HIM.

    What to say, when, etc. It is still a LD relationship so that gives him no real chance to verify her loyalty to him. I don't think that just blurting it out is a good thing. Has to be a setting for that. Wonder if he has asked what she does for a loving yet? And how far off the mark that conversation went at the time? If so, some of this has to be an apology.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Member willow24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    Threlayer...
    Your absolutly right. I had two jobs at the time. I was a cocktail waitress at a regular nightclub. I told him i did that.....becuause i was at the time. i just left out the part about dancing.
    I still cocktail.
    Im totally loyal but i feel that there is a time and place for me to tell him. I dont want him to feel insecure or not trust me.
    Its so hard to say when its right to tell him. Should i wait til i see him next? Do i tell him on the phone????? Everytime he calls i want to blurt it out, but its not appropriate. He is under so much stress right now.
    Should i wait til things calm down with him? Wait til i see him in person? Not wait and just tell him on the phone when he's stressed out about something already?
    AHHHHH!!!!!! Im so frustrated

  25. #25
    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do I tell my new BF that I strip?????

    I'd tell him. I'd tell him IMMEDIATELY.

    However....one HUGE tip.... and I know it's gonna sound like an old-wives tale (or.... old Madam's tale....LOL), but you totally OWN a man during the hour or so after you've given him a blow job. Tell him then.

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