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Thread: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I am taking my son to a new play group this week. I know he would love it. His current interest, ice skating, does not realyy require me to inteact w/ the other parents, and they all live near each other and know each other, anyway. Now I am joining an Attachment Parenting group near my home and there will be MUCH more interaction between the moms.

    Eventaully somebody is going to ask me whether/where I work. I have mixed feelings about this. I am not ashamed of what I do, and I really don't mind peopel knowing. BUT . . . I am worried about how the other moms are going to react, as in not wanting their kid to play with the kid of a STRIPPER. I feel like I might as well get a scarlet S and pin it on my jacket right now!

    Has anybody had this problem? How did you solve it? Did you jsut come right out and say, "I dance at ___." ?? I have in the past told people I was a coctail waitress, but it is not going to work this time, as I don't know who knows the area where I work. I don't want to be a stripper and a liar, too!

    What should I do?


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    Veteran Member SeppeSai's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I just had this conversation with one of my favorites the other day, and her response was that she didn't care one bit what the other parents thought of what she did. She still was fully engaged in the parent activity that she was involved in and didn't take any BS from anyone about her dancing career.
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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I don't understand why they need to know the truth.

    just make something up. If you get discovered, then deal with it. But these are moms. How would they find out?

    I say don't tell them.

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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    If your goal is just to minimize your hassle, I agree, you should just make something up.

    Make it something that's hard for other people to prove or disprove, ie something you can do from home. Telemarketing, internet market research, something like that. Make it something non-specific, so you won't get caught in a lie, and boring, so people won't ask questions.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    If you do say your in telemarketing or whatever just don't studder!!!!!! I studdered when I told the guy I date now, that I was a waitress. Oppps.....but, now everything's ok.

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Gawd..... back when I was a stripper, I told people I w--ked in an office. Now I w--k in an office, and sometimes I tell people I'm a stripper.... LOL

    Seriously, I'd just tell them you don't w--k. Some of them will press you, like "wow, how do you get by?". Just say, "well, I'm very lucky in that respect" and leave it alone. Let them think you have a trust fund or something.

    While YOU might not give a crap what they think about what you do, it's really all about your kid, right? Kids can be VERY cruel. I'd leave it a mystery.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen
    I am taking my son to a new play group this week. I know he would love it. His current interest, ice skating, does not realyy require me to inteact w/ the other parents, and they all live near each other and know each other, anyway. Now I am joining an Attachment Parenting group near my home and there will be MUCH more interaction between the moms.

    Eventaully somebody is going to ask me whether/where I work. I have mixed feelings about this. I am not ashamed of what I do, and I really don't mind peopel knowing. BUT . . . I am worried about how the other moms are going to react, as in not wanting their kid to play with the kid of a STRIPPER. I feel like I might as well get a scarlet S and pin it on my jacket right now!

    Has anybody had this problem? How did you solve it? Did you jsut come right out and say, "I dance at ___." ?? I have in the past told people I was a coctail waitress, but it is not going to work this time, as I don't know who knows the area where I work. I don't want to be a stripper and a liar, too!

    What should I do?
    Just tell em your a multi-level marketer and that you two should get together sometime to talk about Amway.

    I guarantee ya nobody will bring up the subject of jobs around you again!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I'm a very active member of two attachment parenting internet boards. I've made it well-known that I'm a stripper, and as of yet have had no negative comments directed towards me, although many of the times I "outed" myself it was in response to posts that referred to dancers in a stereotypical/negative light, and I felt the need to offer the other p.o.v.

    I was also pleasantly surprised by how many p.m's I got from mommas saying that they too are, or were, dancers.

    I have met with a few AP mommas from my board IRL near my town, and they know what I do and don't seem to have a problem with it.

    The most flack I get is due to the non-"natural" things that I must/choose to do bc of my job - tanning, hair, nails, etc. My daughter is in daycare for several more hours a week than she "needs" to be while I go get prettified around town, yk? And so many APers are SAHMs, and many don't agree with dc anyway.

    If you'd like to hang out with me on my momma boards, PM me!! good luck.

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    Senior Member EXDancer J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    When I danced, I told hardly anyone. I had a day job, so this was not that bad.

    I have contacts here in Houston with a bunch of women in your situation (in all realms of the adult ent. business). My advice to them is this: either say you are a consultant, or actually become one. Pick something you are good at and go with that. Who knows, the other moms may actually want to hire you and you can develop your own business and make some extra cash.

    My standard suggestions are a low startup cost network marketing (MLM) business (I have a list of some that don't require much to stay active), or some sort of specialty business (I recently went back to being a Professional Organizer).

    If you actually set up a small business, then you can get many many tax deductions and can probably design it in a way that offsets the tax liability from dancing.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Tell them you sell Dental Floss door to door in Schenctady. Thats always a good ploy.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Prester_John
    Tell them you sell Dental Floss door to door in Schenctady. Thats always a good ploy.
    Well, at least they'd commend you on your bravery. Anyone who would do anything door-to-door in Schenectady is brave! LMAO.

    But seriously... tell them you work at home. You own your own business. Tell them that you are a consultant for.... whatever. You give people consultations on how to better their bedget, or maybe how to better organize their homes. Something simple that doesnt require a lot of research to BS your way through.
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    Senior Member EXDancer J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I thought of another one:

    Tell them you are a "Virtual Assistant" to a guy in some far off place.

    If you work at night, you can claim it is for an employer in some far off time zone and that you have to go to teleconferences at night sometimes.


    By the way, I was thinking about this earlier while I was driving around. Sometimes SAHM are the nosiest. So I don't think it is to be assumed that they won't find out.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I like to tell people that I'm a recreational therapist.

    This might work too, I know a cop who doesn't like telling everyone that he's a cop so he'll tell people he's a surveyer, because, as he says, nobody ever wants to know about your day at work, holding the rod.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Tell them you're with the CIA.

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    Heheh, I said I was a waittress at a bar in PA at the bank in NY today - far enough away to not bother anyone.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
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    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Veteran Member luckischalk's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I would make something up to, I just tell people I am a bartender (at a regular bar on the other side of town that is small). They should judge you on who you are as a person not what you do as a job.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to answer, "So, what do you do?"

    I actaully overslept this morning and missed the play date, so I will have another week to think about it.

    Thanks for all the interesting suggestions. I actaully do have a small Melaleuca business I could talk about. That is one option. It is more of a hobby than a busines, but it would work.

    I feel very strongly about honesty, and I don't want to set an example of lying about my job. Or hiding it.

    I am opening a whole can of worms with this issue, because I don't want to have to lie about my work in front of my son, but I also don't want to belong to clubs/religion/ etc, where peopel are going to act differently toward me b/c of what I do.

    What a dilemma!


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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