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Thread: How does one get a better lapdance?

  1. #51
    Member wheelchair customer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    To you Baby!

  2. #52
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Thanks sweets!!!!

    And I totally agree with you as well tracey. I've gotten the dances where the girl is watching herself in the mirror the entire time....LAME-O!!!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen
    Oh, here is another big DONT that I forgot: DO NOT attempt to insert ANYTHING (fingers, beer bottles, etc.) into ANY orifice of her body! INCLUDING her belly-button.
    OK, so no beer bottles in the belly-button?

    Right. Got it.

    Thanks I wasn't sure about that one.
    Last edited by Jay Zeno; 04-28-2005 at 08:55 AM.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  4. #54
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    I think some of the dances that are given are hysterical, myself....but I go to Strip Clubs to laugh, so...

    I love it when the dancers turn away from the Customer and lean over....and have this totally disinterested and bored look on their faces now that the Customer can't see their face.

    She forgets that others can see the look, though ^^.

    Yes, I realize this was a tangent....

  5. #55
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    KittyKat could hum on my balls till domsday, and i'd not complain a whisker... Even though the idea of someone humming on my balls is an odd one. What tune do they hum?
    Last edited by Madcap; 04-28-2005 at 02:28 PM.

  6. #56
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Well, tonight I had one ask me to squeeze his you-know-what between my butt-cheeks and make him nut!

    ANd I have had guys try to palpate my spine via my navel, and press my nipples as if they were elevator buttons! ANd try to stick their spitty ciggarettes in my mouth . . . try to put their beer bottles in my mouth . . . fingers and tongues in my ears . . . . fingers in my mouth . . . . and GOD FORBID they should find a hole in my panty hose! You would think I cut it there for their specific pleasure! One guy actaully tried to stick his finger up my a** through a rip in my hose! (The hose are the result of a local law of some kind. we all have to wear them. It's a good thing, really!)

    Yes, Madcap, I DO have a lot of weird stories!
    Last edited by colleen; 04-28-2005 at 01:35 AM. Reason: spelling


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  7. #57
    Veteran Member Angel1112's Avatar
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    Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    being very handsome might help...other than that .........money.

  8. #58
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Hmm. I'd say that personally I give a crappy dance if I have to be preoccupied with controling your hands or keeping certain parts of my body away from your tongue. If you're keeping your hands within the rules [depends on the club, some places that means: not on me and others: not under my g-string] and not licking me, I'm going to enjoy the dance a lot more and be a lot more sensuous with you - for example, if I know my boobs are going to come away salivated upon, they aren't going to be put in your face any more. But, if my boobs are going to remain nice and dry - just be sure to take off your glasses.

    Oh, yeah, and leave my ears alone. :

    I wouldn't say buying several is necessarily an indication of a better dance, but I have a lot of moves, and as I learn what YOU like more, I'm going to be doing more of that.
    "I still have my name
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  9. #59
    Senior Member ivy44's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    The less of a gentleman you are, the worse of a dance youll get from me. -point blank- The men with class deserve a nice dance. The men who dont know how to handle the situation, do not deserve the best treatment. Thats how the world works bro

  10. #60
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by ivy44
    The less of a gentleman you are, the worse of a dance youll get from me. -point blank- The men with class deserve a nice dance. The men who dont know how to handle the situation, do not deserve the best treatment. Thats how the world works bro

    Yep. Keep your hands to yourself and your tongue in your mouth. Take shower, dress nice, and throw on a little cologne.

  11. #61
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Do not pinch nipples, ALWAYS ask what is permitted, even if it makes you feel stupid. I've so wanted to knock teeth down guys throats because they pinched the fire out of my nipples. Yes, fake boobs have feeling in them too and if you keep trying to make biscuits with my boobs your about to feel my pain.
    Please, do not hunch your dancer. This is another thing I hate. The guy trying to literally fuck your ass through his pants. This just makes me laugh. I'm laughing now thinking about it.
    Please do not ask me for info on my co-workers, this is tacky and you will get the pat reply of .. "well if your so interested, YOU can go ask her." Yes I know all the dirt about people but am unwilling to share. This is tacky to me and will make me get up and walk away in a heartbeat. leaving you sitting there with that deer in the headlight look.
    Considering all these things not to do, there's plenty you can do. Like have fun and make new friends at the SC.

    Rhiannon
    Southern 'gal and sister in the thong brigade.

  12. #62
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    OOOOHHHHH---I have another one:

    PLease do not hump my leg like a dog! PLEASE do not do this!

    Has hapened to me twice. IF you are that fucking horny, you need to jsut drop[ some cash on a hooker. You are not going to get what you need from a dance.


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    --Agnes De Mille

  13. #63
    Senior Member Malak's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    I wonder how many guys have a complex after reading this thread and just sit there like the Lincoln Memorial now?

    It's ok to get turned-on, but not TOO f-ing much. LMAO

    Nah, I appreciate lists of Don'ts... once I learn them it leaves me free to relax and
    figure out what else I can invent to get added to the list. (kidding)

    The only issue for me now is do I flat out tell her what I like or do I see how good
    she is at figuring it out herself. Some women are masters and just KNOW. It's
    amazing to behold such talent. ;-)
    Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    I've never asked a dancer what her rules are in any club in any part of the country. If contact is the be-all-end-all for ya' then I guess my approach wouldn't work very well since it leaves a certain amount of what's going to happen during a dance unknown ahead of time. I decide to buy a dance from a dancer based on a connection that I feel with that dancer. I just can't see myself asking which parts of her anatomy I can touch and which parts are off-limits. To me it's a real mood killer and mood is a huge part of the fun. Once we are in the dance area I let her take the lead. Once you are spending money on a dancer, unless you are a jerk, she will do whatever she is willing to do in order to get you to keep spending money. I have no interest in trying to convince a dancer to do something she is uncomfortable with. If mood and attraction is what got you to the LD area in the first place, you should be able to enjoy the time spent on whatever level the lady is comfortable with. If not, you simply move on.

    I honestly don't see any reason why guys should be scared-off by any of the stuff in this thread. It's all common sense to me. It has as much to do with how a gentleman should treat a lady as it has to do with how a customer should treat a dancer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  15. #65
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us

    I honestly don't see any reason why guys should be scared-off by any of the stuff in this thread. It's all common sense to me. It has as much to do with how a gentleman should treat a lady as it has to do with how a customer should treat a dancer.
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.

    Boys, learn from yoda. Wise he is.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    I've never asked a dancer what her rules are in any club in any part of the country. If contact is the be-all-end-all for ya' then I guess my approach wouldn't work very well since it leaves a certain amount of what's going to happen during a dance unknown ahead of time. I decide to buy a dance from a dancer based on a connection that I feel with that dancer. I just can't see myself asking which parts of her anatomy I can touch and which parts are off-limits. To me it's a real mood killer and mood is a huge part of the fun. Once we are in the dance area I let her take the lead. Once you are spending money on a dancer, unless you are a jerk, she will do whatever she is willing to do in order to get you to keep spending money. I have no interest in trying to convince a dancer to do something she is uncomfortable with. If mood and attraction is what got you to the LD area in the first place, you should be able to enjoy the time spent on whatever level the lady is comfortable with. If not, you simply move on.
    One would think this is so obvious as to render it repetitive, but clearly it's necessary for far too many customers.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malak
    I wonder how many guys have a complex after reading this thread and just sit there like the Lincoln Memorial now?

    It's ok to get turned-on, but not TOO f-ing much. LMAO

    Nah, I appreciate lists of Don'ts... once I learn them it leaves me free to relax and
    figure out what else I can invent to get added to the list. (kidding)

    The only issue for me now is do I flat out tell her what I like or do I see how good
    she is at figuring it out herself. Some women are masters and just KNOW. It's
    amazing to behold such talent. ;-)
    It is not only OK, but normal and natural to get turned on. I had one poor newbie spending 3 dances trying NOT to get turned on, then trying to hide it, then APOLOGISING for it! He was so cute!

    The don'ts should not be too hard to learn. Like Yoda said, just commom sense!

    The trick to telling her what you like is, be subtle. Use non-verbal communication! If a dancer does something you like, and it shows on your face or makes you gasp, she ought to have sense enough to do it again. Or you could try, "I jsut loved that! Would you do it again?" if you are really josing for a cartain action that is not beyond the club's limits, you can always say, "Oh, I would jsut love it if you would run your hands through my hair! (or whatever)"


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    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  18. #68
    Senior Member Malak's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    I think there are different degrees of "gentleman" and could it not be argued that a true gentleman would not even set foot in a SC like I did the first 42 years of my life? ;-)

    For the record I am not an "extras hound". There is only one potential extra that interests me during a LD. What I was referring to were things like the dancer being right in my face like she was going to kiss me.

    Thanks Colleen. Two trips ago I did not notice till after a dance had started that there was a mirror and I looked at her looking at me and smiled and then she smiled and then I smiled MORE. LOL So, I see what you mean, because she was laying back on me with her head on my shoulder which is my second fav thing. Mmmmm...
    Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malak
    I think there are different degrees of "gentleman" and could it not be argued that a true gentleman would not even set foot in a SC like I did the first 42 years of my life? ;-)...
    I'm not buying that at all. First of all, I've been in and around strip clubs since I was 18. I've treated women-dancers included-the same way my entire life. That is, with respect, the same way I would want to be treated. Sure, it took me a few years to figure out that most of the SC stereotypes where just that, and a few more years to figure out how not to get hustled out of my entire wallet in the first 15 minutes of a SC visit. You are either a gentleman or you are not. Any guy that turns it on and off depending on the environment is not. Enjoying the female anatomy for what it is-a wonder of nature-does not make you ungentlemanly. Yelling out "bend over" during a dance does.
    Quote Originally Posted by Malak
    For the record I am not an "extras hound". There is only one potential extra that interests me during a LD. What I was referring to were things like the dancer being right in my face like she was going to kiss me.
    Being an extras hound doesn't have to preclude you from being a gentleman.
    I only get extras from dancers who offer them willingly and they appreciate my patronage in the same way that the "good girls" do. Weather it's an intimate hug or a hand job you are looking for, the same rules of behavior apply.
    Quote Originally Posted by Malak
    Thanks Colleen. Two trips ago I did not notice till after a dance had started that there was a mirror and I looked at her looking at me and smiled and then she smiled and then I smiled MORE. LOL So, I see what you mean, because she was laying back on me with her head on my shoulder which is my second fav thing. Mmmmm...
    These are by far the best moments of a good LD. The connection with the dancer makes everything she does sexy as hell. The " laying back on me with her head on my shoulder" thing drives me wild...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.

    Boys, learn from yoda. Wise he is.
    Wow, This is the best Sunday morning ever!!! Thanks Kat, I'm aching rite now as well....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    One would think this is so obvious as to render it repetitive, but clearly it's necessary for far too many customers.
    Sad but true, OTOH, The morons who put a dollar on stage between 3 guys and then high-five each other when the girl calls them cheap make guys like us look good!
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  22. #72
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malak
    I think there are different degrees of "gentleman" and could it not be argued that a true gentleman would not even set foot in a SC like I did the first 42 years of my life? ;-)
    If you're the type to think no gentleman would be caught dead inside a SC, then you definitely won't be describing me as a lady for dancing there.

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    You are either a gentleman or you are not. Any guy that turns it on and off depending on the environment is not. Enjoying the female anatomy for what it is-a wonder of nature-does not make you ungentlemanly. Yelling out "bend over" during a dance does.
    Damn, you made me remember the kind of customer reaction that can actually make this job fun.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    A lap dance is always better when the stripper is cryin'.


  24. #74
    Senior Member Malak's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence
    If you're the type to think no gentleman would be caught dead inside a SC, then you definitely won't be describing me as a lady for dancing there.


    -Ev
    I guessed you missed the part about it's a matter of degree of gentlemen. And somehow I don't think Amy Lee would be upset about not being described as a lady. ;-) You and I would get along fine because Evanescence may end up being my fav band of all time.

    "who can decide what we dream... and dream I do..."
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    Default Re: How does one get a better lapdance?

    Just sit there and keep your hands to yourself. When I have to keep reminding a guy of the rules, and stopping to scold a guy like a little boy, it messes up my mood. It will piss me off and I will give a crapy dance. I love giving lapdances and do them very well, but if he doesn't respect my rules......... I've gotten so mad beofre that I have ( completely by accident) banged up against a man's private area......very hard. I know,I'm evil......ha ha ha, not really.

    I will nicely tell a guy once or twice not to do something....just because I have gotten dances before and know that it can be hard not to touch. If he keeps ignoring my warnings....

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