I guess I deserved it.For all interested, I live in NJ, and work in the wine/ liq industry. As well as music: guitarist/songwriter. Blues, R-N-R,Celtic, Groove, Groove, etc.. doing it long time. I'm 40, 6'2",250 muscular/athletic, all my hair no gut.D/D free. Very intelligent. Anyway, the reason I joined this website is for this messsage. I met a very sweet young girl:23, blonde hair/ blue eyes, 5'4" a bit short for me, so I thought. Very nice body too.She dances in Bound Brouch,NJ. Ok so maybe some of you know me. I've got to know a little about her over the past few months.She was a nanny, she was overweight as a child,her parents abandoned her, her mother married her father's brother and moved to Poland, her own father let her be placed in a foster home, and she supports her unemployed boyfriend who mistreats her, not to mention - He is BLACK! I'm not a racist. Well the little I've got out of her has been very sad. So I knew and still know that this was going to be A LOT of HEARTACHE.Let me say, that I'm no angel, I have had a lot of lustfull, decadent fun with dancers, esspecially Brazillian women. They helped me become a fantastic lover. And to my credit, I can spend hours, not minutes DOWNTOWN- That is my addiction in life. But I know my Bible and I know I'm living a sinful life. So everyday I ask Jesus to forgive me, and help me find the right woman. Not for nothing, but I've been heartbroken for a long time, atleast 20 years. So I have a lot of pure love and affection bottled up in me. And that's why I'm writing this. I feel like God himself has put her in my heart. I have no lust for her at all - zero. I don't even watch her dance, she is more socialable than sexy. No lap dancing, or flashing. So I have respect for her, but I don't think it's mutual, rarely returns my calls. I care for her in ways of her own past sorrows, how she feels and does right now, and most importantly her future. I'm trying to get her to attend college, become a teacher, she loves kids. She is smart, but she has heal herself, learn to love herself, and overcome her fears. And I also know she feels I'm a little to old for her. She is way more mature for her age, and I'm still a teenager. That doesn''t bother. Most guys would have thrown in the towel long ago, not me I'm still a fool, seriously - I don't quit, and once I pledge my friendship to someone I'm there till the end. Besides my life is not about me, it's about everyone else. And I feel blessed to know that she is in my life-BARELY! She knows I care a great deal about her. We have never got together outside the bar. This past Wedsnday she called me and asked me to come see her, knowing she had kicked her boyfriend out.I said I would bring some nice take out,stuffed shrimp when I would see her,my doing. Also got her roller blades, protective gear and a really funny DVD - Napoleon Dynamite. See this movie! It's subtle, intelligent humor. I surprised her with this latter on in the night, while she was on the phone with her boyfriend, asking him to pick her up at 1:30 am.Was this the wronge thing to do on my part. No. I'm glad I did it.Reguardless if I ever see/hear from her again. If I can justify speding $40,000 on my Harley, $20,000 on my musical equipment. A few hundred aint gonna kill me. Plus it made me feel good about myself. As it stands now, I won't call her, unless she calls me. But I'll never go and see her dance. And the reason for this post is simple. LADIES:, here is a simple story: there was a flood coming and this man refused to leave his house.It started raining and rescue workers told to leave, he said "god will take save me" Next day water was up to his second floor, same response "God'll take care of me" Third day, water was up to his roof, same yada yada yada. He was an idiot, he drowned. If any of you are truely unhappy, you have to open yourself up to being honest with your pain, have a clean sober mind, and want to be loved and be happy - You Gotta Want It. True love comes from GOD! Can't get love from lust.DUDES: cut the bullshit, understand that just because life or relationships don't go your way, means you should get bent out of shape. Cutting back on getting loaded would help too and I work for Stoli, Jack Daniels, etc... Being a successful athlete I played for the most successful football coach in NJ, Warren Wolf. And what he said " adversity must always be overcome." Don't let Satan take joy out of your hearts. If God has put a dream in your heart like he did mine. Fight for it!



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I almost spit my V8 out this morning when reading this lovely digression.

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