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Thread: Boys Suck!!!!!!

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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Well at least mine does.... so I live with my b/f and his family. He didn't come home last night which is a typical friday night thing. He called me this morning wanting to tell me he's been seeing someone else for awhile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!

    This has never happened to me before!!! I can't believe I've been fooled for the last couple of weeks or months - however long this has been going on.

    Now all I want to do is redo that waiting to exhale scene where she sets her husbands stuff on fire!!

    I really don't know what to do guys? I'm kind of alone in Maryland and don't have much support out here.... I wish I never moved here!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    aw

    thtas horrible yo
    you should slap dat nigga
    if he gonna act like a bitch he get slapped like a bitch

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    So sorry to hear of this, dear. I guess, if it was me, I'd have to sit down & make a plan. Do I want to/can I stay there temporarily? If not, is there anyone I work with that I can trust to stay with, 'til I can move on? Anyone from another area that can help me out, find work elsewhere, etc?? What actual options do I have? Good luck to you, hopefully @ least next time you'll not fall into the same "trap". Take care.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    I'll tell you what my ex-boyfriend told me BEFORE he broke up with me and it really helped me : "You we're okay before me, you will be okay after me." Hang on sweetie. This will only make you stronger even if you dont see how it can't right now... and maybe it help you to get out of your shell and go out and make some new friends.

    He's a dick. Fuck him. You deserve someone who will be there 100%!!
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    What a scumbag. You're better off without him. Let him be a boil on someone else's ass.

    Pwincess, you never fail to crack me up.. heh

  6. #6
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    save some money and move to a place where the money is good

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    not before beating him with a baseball bat
    wear a skimask

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Awww sorry to hear. First and foremost, I would go get tested if he's been with someone else unprotected, and being with you as well. Then I would pick up and leave his ass. What a sorry excuse for a guy he is. You really dont need that kind of scum hanging all over you anyway.

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Sorry hun about that some guys just have no shame.

    But, I do have to say if it was typical for him to not come home some Friday nights wouldnt you question his motives for staying at someones house other than the obvious "im too drunk to drive" line?

    At least you learned something I hope. You should take something away good and something learned from every relationship. The bad stuff can stay in the past. You will become stronger from everything as long as you learn from it....he'll stay the same and wonder in a few years (if he ever does) why he cant hold a steady relationship. Lol




    PS:Burn his clothes!!! ....or at least throw some away
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  10. #10
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Well get out of there and move closer to your own support system and take a break from any relationship for a while everything will work out for the better .

  11. #11
    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    thanks guys! I appreciate your kind words! After crying I decided to check his voicemail. Ended up getting the number of his new g/f. I called her to speak with him. I asked what he wanted to do about our situation - since we've been together for awhile and we have a lot of mutal property. He said he'd be home when he felt like it and that I had asked for this!!! Grrr... I'd love to know where he's at so I could go and be real irgnorant. But I guess it's for the best.

    I need to stay here till the end of june to get my degree, but after that I'm out of here!!! I'm checking out short term lease apartments and hotels right now. I've got a drowning pool album on and I'm bagging is crap up!!! I've resolved to try and shed as little tears about this. I may not realize it now - but soon enough I'll know that I didn't deserve this - no one does!

    Thanks everyone!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    No one deserves to be treated like that! You didn't sneak aroundn behind his back, how he justifies this to himself is beyond me, but he has no right to say you deserve it. I hope you told his mother what is going on, I've had bf's act up and their mother set them straight.
    For you to be living with his family and then he does this is not only disrespectful to you, but to them as well because it puts them in a bind.
    Get out of there as fast as you can and cut all ties with this tool. And since he has no interest in his own property, I think that is permission for you to keep it. It may been mutual before, but if he isn't going to help you split it up then he forfeited his rights to it.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Troublemaker,

    If you decide to end this, you know that you still have friends - real friends - here in Hawaii and you'd be welcomed back.

    If you need some one to talk to, you can call either me or Mike. I believe you have both our numbers, but I'll PM you mine, if you dont.

    Duane

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    Senior Member Malak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    It's funny I was reading some of your other posts earlier and I was thinking what a lucky bastard your BF is and now this. Weird. Funny how the best ones are never appreciated by the people they are with... :-(

    I'm going thru a sad time myself but I decided that I do have much to be thankful for so I've managed to keep my chin up for the most part and enjoy what positives I do have in my life. We'll survive!
    Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Forget him... he's not worth a tear. And the girl he's with is a big SUCKA. They are made for each other.

    No one deserves to be cheated on. Now, you should learn a few lessons here. If a man is going out on Friday night and not coming home, RED FLAG. My ex did that a few times too. It means they are with another woman. You shouldn't be allowing him to go out on Friday nights without you while you sit at home, period.

    My advice would be to go back to Hawaii, and think twice before you go chasing another man around the country. They should be chasing YOU.

    People will only play the game with you if you agree to play the game. He knew he had you in a place of weakness, where you had no support, and he took advantage of it. Men should be playing on your turf, not theirs.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR
    ... so I live with my b/f and his family. He didn't come home last night which is a typical friday night thing.
    Newsflash- a guy that actually loves you and cares about you doesn't insist on going out without you and having a great time. It's a total conflict of 'stay with the one I love' versus 'go out and TRY to have a good time without her'... anyone that tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.

    Explore your own feelings and if you had a choice between going out with your girlfriends and flirting with guys instead of being with some dude you absolutely adore. Also explore how much 'fun' you'd have knowing he was sitting at home. There are no double-standards. And it's NOT a 'guy thing'- people pushing this agenda are full of shit. Begrudgingly going out every now and then? Sure- it's good to have to BEG your bf to go out when you don't feel like it, but in this case, it's obvious it's his preference to leave you at home and go out. This is a red flag.

    The easy solution? Don't fuck losers. The more losers you jump into, the more of a bitch you'll become for the right guys... thus sealing your doom. It starts a pattern where only the self-centered losers will pry hard enough to get what they need through a jaded outlook and good guys will just give up and move on. Ask just about any woman that is 30+ how much of a severe change in dating/intimacy ethics they have compared to their early/mid 20's. Most I know wouldn't stand for that kind of horse shit and have learned this.

    Go back to Hawaii or anywhere where you have good, honest support... and most importantly, start working on YOURSELF. Once you have a solid foundation of self-esteem and start to realize your own self-worth, you'll have a totally different outlook on what you deserve and the wrong guys wont stand a chance.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Hey Everyone!! I wanted to thank you guys for listening to me the other day.

    My boyfriend (ex) came home that sunday. Waiting for him to come home was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. I knew where he was (with his new g/f) and it took all my will to not go psychotic on him.

    He came home with a massive amount of hickies on his neck!!!! In over 2 years he never let me put one on him - he doesn't even like them!!!!!!! We got in a mutual physical fight. When i called the police he ran off with my car. When they finally convinced him to come back they found a small amount of pot and smelt alcohol on his breath. Guess he didn't clean up as much as he had me believing. While they processed his legal paper work I got a chance to get my stuff out of his parents house - which I'm thankful that the MP's were so helpful.
    The police gave me some domestic violence counseling numbers to call. I'm going to do that. While I don't consider myself a battered wife, if i let it get this far so blind and trusting - I'm sure it'll happen again. Plus I really want to have some understanding for this.

    But now I'm a t school and i'm sad.... I want to call him and have everything be normal I know it isn't but after over two years it's hard to imagine your life being any other way than it has been.....

    So here's to me getting through this (geez - I hope I can!!?)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    It doesnt feel like you will be able to get through it right now, but trust me, you will get over him and wonder why you were with him in the first place. Like I said, you dont need a man who does all that shit, giving you a bad reputation right along with him. Just go to work, make lots of $, and have fun.

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    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    So now he's hitting you and stealing your car? Granted, you hit him too, but that's not the point.

    He is still in the military, so possession of marijuana could land him some time in the brig. DUI only adds to his problems, along with domestic violence charges. He is digging himself in deeper as he goes and it seems to me that he will get himself into more problems as time goes by.

    I'm wondering: what happened to him?

    I mean he's thrown-away your relationship and is endangering his military career for what?

    He's changed aspects of himself seemingly overnight and I'm left confused by all this. He blames you for the breakup and I'm confused as to how any of this behavioral change reflects on you.

    I'm wondering who his new g/f is and what kind of power she has over him to make him change so suddenly and so drastically. Do you know anything about her?

    Were there any signs before the breakup of a change in his behavior?

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    It might be a good lesson to realize this jerk is not able to stand on his own two feet because, as you have learned, he is an immature narcissist. Take what you need and find some shelter. Might be good to break ties as completely as you can just for security.

    Hope you can take care of this with a minimum of hassle. Good luck.

    (Well, I don't believe I've ever met a mature narcissist. I don't think they exist.)
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Follow-up question: how are his parents reacting to all this?

    I cant imagine they'd be happy with everything that has happened between you both.

  22. #22
    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    well...duane... his behavior didn't just suddenly change. He got kicked out of the military right before we left hawaii. That's why we left. He got a felony charge I believe for it. He also got a dui and stuff in the summer on base property so is currently on federal probabtion. I know - they should have been warning signs. I just kept saying it changed after he came back from deployment. I tried so hard to get him to seek help. After the federal dui thing he got into an alcohol and counseling program. I thought this was all tapering down. I guess not. I guess while i was standing by his side in court and helping to pay for all his counseling sessions - he was screwing someone else!!!

    Oh guys I know I'm pathetic - but I miss having someone to love.....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR
    well...duane... his behavior didn't just suddenly change. He got kicked out of the military right before we left hawaii. That's why we left. He got a felony charge I believe for it. He also got a dui and stuff in the summer on base property so is currently on federal probabtion. I know - they should have been warning signs. I just kept saying it changed after he came back from deployment. I tried so hard to get him to seek help. After the federal dui thing he got into an alcohol and counseling program. I thought this was all tapering down. I guess not. I guess while i was standing by his side in court and helping to pay for all his counseling sessions - he was screwing someone else!!!

    Oh guys I know I'm pathetic - but I miss having someone to love.....
    Ok, this should teach you a big fat lesson. Don't trust someone who has a felony charge on them! That should've shown him out as the irresponsible crazy he truly is. Hopefully after this is over, you will know what to look for.... don't trust anyone who would do something you wouldn't do ethically. Surely if he doesn't care about having a felony charge, he doesn't care about cheating. I know EXACTLY how you feel.... because the same thing happened to me, but mine lasted 9 years. I know it hurts, but some people just aren't capable of love. They use people, and that's just what happened to you. Take your losses and move on. And be very selective with who you choose to allow into your life. Some people get their rocks off on hurting others. When he knew he didn't need you anymore and was done with you, he let her put the hickies on him specifically because he knew it would hurt you. When these types are done with you, they will resort to the cruelest acts you can imagine. He was getting the counselling because he had to, hon, not because he chose to. Lesson 2: You can't change someone. They have to want it and seek it out themselves. I know it hurts like hell right now, but you are going to have to accept the fact that you've been used. Now it's time to work on yourself, and gain self esteem. If you were willing to put up with that crap, that means you don't know your own self worth. Stay away from dating for awhile. While you are weak and vulnerable like this, other vultures will sense that and try to swoop in. Hon, there are tons and tons of them out there, just seeking out their next victim. Be careful.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Rule#1 Never live with your S/O and parents together in the same house; it is bound to doom even a good healthy relationship.

    Rule #2 You seem to be really attracted to substance abusing- sociopathic bad guy's. So I would suggest getting counseling for yourself, otherwise every BF your going to be attracted to will have his track record.

    Rule #3 If you've dated really good guys before but leave them everytime for an A-Hole, I would really advise getting counseling for yourself as in rule #2.

  25. #25
    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boys Suck!!!!!!

    Trouble,

    How are things going with you?

    Havent heard back from you in awhile....

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