I appreciate all the posts from everyone... and I have re evaluated what I had written in the first place... like I said a lot of story in a very small space. And with that said, I set my alarm last night and got up to speak with my fiance', when he got home.
And Colleen your post was the most accurate. When my fiance' was forced out of the military after 5 years for an injury sustained in Iraq, it was worse than failure. He was made Sargeant after only 2 1/2 years and within 3 months looked after 21 of "his soldiers" {as he called them}. He told me that he didn't realize it, but I was taking the place of his soldiers {and god did he feel like a ton of bricks had hit him in the face at that realization}.
I told him I was upset and that he needed to loosen up because he was going to put me in early labor with just the stress alone.
I told him that I was tired of being told exactly what to do and when to do it. And I told him that if he made an effort to think about what might put a strain on me {ie: carrying baskets up and downstairs all day to wash and dry, watching a very active 4 year old, cook, clean, carry groceries up stairs, take garbage downstairs} and help to lessen it a little that it would be benficial for us both. The less exhaustion, the easier it might be to wake up a day or two more to let us snuggle and etc. and etc...
We have both agreed to compromise for each other and I believe he will hold to it.
Now, we also discussed when I was dancing, and he was staying home with our son. And I asked him if it was rough? The answer: yes. I asked one last question and it completely took care of the situation with that problem... Why would it be different when you were watching him, then when I'm watching him? He is still the same if not more vocal and active.
We have worked out {for both of our benefits} a plan to make everyone happy... even our 4 year old.
We discussed the hours he has been working. What I hadn't been told was that they had fired 2 workers at the store and that he is basically taking over their shifts to compensate. If I would have known, I wouldn't have been so upset. He has also told me that within a month he should be going back to regular shifts, and I almost cried. I won't know what to do if I have him around during awake hours!
I didn't give him an ultimatum, because I felt that just us talking was making enough of an impact.
Now, the money situation hasn't been completely resolved {we were both falling over out of exhaustion by then} but that will be taken care of today. And about the expenses... he believes that $200 for a whole month for groceries is fair. But he was spending that when he was living alone and had very few bills. Everything else goes in the jar. Thats what is so hard... there isn't enough left for everything we actually need for the month. And about the expenses for the baby... we bet on the superbowl and won $5,000. And we have bought everything for the baby already... and I mean EVERYTHING {ie: industrial size boxes of diapers and wipes, clothes, bottles, formula, etc. etc. etc.} So once we get through this about the money, I believe everything will be settled and both he and I will be happy with the outcome.
Thank you all again!



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