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Thread: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

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    Member amybell80's Avatar
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    Smiley everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Ok, well ive talked to my family, kids dads, an wife, and not yet said anything to my estranged husbend, But, everyone says i am making a horrible decision? I don't feel as if its a bad choice, nobody can see my point of view.. So my question is do any of you ladies have kids? Husbands? unsuporting family? How safe is dancing? And how do i tell people (family) that its not having sex, its dancung nude, there is a diffrence?
    thks
    Amybell80 wife?? and mom of 2 boys

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    Member amybell80's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    i didnt mean to put "an wife"

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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    In peoples minds, stripping is dirty, and probably always will be. It is not a horrible decision, its a good one in fact, if you keep your head on your shoulders. Some women are just jealous because they would never have the guts to do it, while others think its dirty, like I said. They automatically think you go around sleeping with everyone and everything, because gee, theyve seen movies and just know what they are talking about *eyeroll* Dancing is safe, IF you work at a safe club in a safe environment. Sometimes you cant convince people though, and thats their problem, not yours. You do what you need to do to support your family. If you feel like you are getting blue in the face from defending your idea of dancing, then stop trying to explain it to them. You do what YOU need to do.

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    Veteran Member OPEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I will let the dancers answer this one,,, but will mention my opinion is that it depends on alot of things. First, dancing CAN be safe if you are at the right place and make good decisions, and second, I think that it can be the right decision if you are dancing for the right reasons and not for the wrong reasons. However, no matter how reasonable it all sounds to YOU, there are some friends and family that will never understand it.
    How am I doing girls????just my two cents

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Lots of us have husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, and kids. You won't be te only dancer toting around pictures of her kids in her shoe box!

    As to your non-understanding family, well, some people jsut choose not to understand. And some peopel worry. I tell my mother that I am a coctail wirtress, and she worries about that. So I don't tell her the truth for her own protection. In my experience, some people will be curious and ask questions, others will already have thier mind made up and prefer not to be confused with the facts. You can't do anything about that. Arguing is a waste of breath.

    Good luck!


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I think there is absolutely no way to make your family, friends understand. Eventually they might be "o.k." about it "supposedly" but not really at least thats my case.

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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I have the same situtation with my mom. Sometimes they will never understand. I say time is the only answer...in time they might except you and youre new job. Besides rest assure that what you do at work is not dirty. You know what happens you were there. Everyone thinks we give BJ's and HJ's in the back rooms and the managers beat us up just like "Dancing at the Blue Iguana".
    Lock up your stuff, watch your money and dont except rides from anyone. The nice thing is if you dont like how someone is being all grabby you can just walk away.
    Last edited by TigersMilk; 03-31-2005 at 10:31 AM. Reason: mispellings
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    Featured Member screaminpeachez's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    They are not going to be with you at the strip club...
    do what you want.

    it's money

    go hang out in a strip club for an evening and make up your own mind.
    It is a different day and age girl,
    it's not a taboo anymore.

    If I were you I wouldn't talk to them about doing it anymore.
    It is none of their business.

    I've learned to keep my job on the Down Low.
    Not many people are going to say positive things about it.
    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
    "GOD is LOVE, but get it in writing"- Gypsy Rose Lee

    http://www.myspace.com/screaminpeachez

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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I agree. I only told my mother in law, and my husband knew I was doing it, hell he'd come and watch, but I didnt tell any of my other family members because they would have thought, Oh NO, shes hit rock bottom! Heh.

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    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    have any of them been to a strip club?

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


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    Member orenishi's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I can't wait for the day that society wakes up and understands that working as a stripper is an OCCUPATION, just like anything else--only better, because you put a smile on people's faces. How many accountants can say that?

    My husband and I started marriage counseling, and I told the doctor of my work as a stripper--she chalked it up to my getting off my (very, very low) dosage of Lexapro (anti-depressant). I chalk it up to recognizing my true inner self, realizing that I'm not the corporate type. Point of story? If a so-called progressive doctor can't see the value in working as a stripper, don't hold your breath for your husband/family to see the light.

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    Member amybell80's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    thanks,you ladies have helped so much. I know that my husband has been visiting clubs frequently since we've been seperated. (4 months) but i have yet to tell him
    Amybell80

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    Member Taffy's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I didn't tell anyone I was getting a job in a strip club. People (friends/boyfriend) knew that I was thinking about it, but I didn't want anyone to talk me out of it.

    So I just kept my shoes and an outfit in the trunk of my car, and when the urge struck (actually just about an hour ago!) I went to apply. So now I have a new job, and nobody can talk me out of anything because it's too late!
    Taffy

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    Member blueyeztiff's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Well, I haven't started yet, but I go audition next week. I have told my mom and sister and both of them are supportive. Which from my mom is shocking because we were raised very religious. But she understands that I need the $ and my day job just isn't paying all the bills.
    Some people will understand and support you, others won't and will try to discourage you or talk down to you about it. The only advice I can give is to do what you feel is right and hold your head high. Don't let anyone make you feel like you are a lesser person for doing it!!

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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    my parents didn't like it at first, but they got over it.

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I have mentioned dancing to my boyfriend and he said he wouldn't hve a problem because he's known a lot of strippers and knows what its about. I would NEVER tell my family. EVER. My dad would probably be cool with it as I joked about it with him once and he goes "You'd make good money and who would know?" But I still would never tell him. My brother and mother would DIE. I have a couple close friends I'd tell. I MIGHT end up telling others if I thought they'd be cool about it. A lot of people have bad ideas about strippers as do a lot of people have bad ideas about a lot of things. I'm used to keeping my mouth shut around a lot of people about my feelings on all kinds of things.

  17. #17
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Go for it. The only thing that bothers me is that my dad doesn't like it. Other than that everyone else can go screw themselves.....they're not paying my bills. In fact, just wait 'till friends and family start hitting you up for cash "loans" even though they didn't want you to strip in the first place.

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    Member Taffy's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Yesterday at work (restaurant) I brought up the subject of strippers just to see the reactions I would get.

    I thougth it was very amusing when one guy I know, who likes me by the way, refered to strippers as "dirty" and that "you just know their pussy's flap in the wind." How closed minded. Would he have said that if he knew I worked at a club? And would he suddenly see me as dirty?

    Some people will always have negative views of strippers. A lot of people are hypocrites.
    Taffy

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    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    many women and men who dance or do other forms of adult entertainment have boyfriends, husbands, wives, kids, etc. i cant tell my family. right when i started dancing, my mom tried to put me back in the loony bin cause i was upset one day. i know if they found out they'd take all my material possessions from me and put me away. it sucks. i'm careful about who i reveal my job to. when i meet people, i'd like them to know me for who i am- not my work. i feel fairly safe in my club. i have danced in some dangerous ones- i left and never returned and warned others. it's like any other form of night time entertainment- you always have to be careful. in all honesty, i've suffered more attacks walking home from goth clubs than strip clubs. my bouncer walks me out at night and i have a buddy system with my friends when we all go home. i carry pepper spray 'just in case'. oh, and owning a car helps.

    forget what others say, what really matters is do YOU want to dance. try it out for one night and see if you like it. if you dont, you just dont go back. that's the great thing about this job.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    toxic why was there more touble walking out of goth clubs? Anything specific about the goth scene, or are you just making the point that you have encountered more safety issues leaving a regular club as opposed to a strip club? Just curious =)

  21. #21
    IACali
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    My mother was initially extremely unsupportive, and still absolutely hates that I am a dancer. She actually has gotten to the point where she can talk to me about it, she has asked me detailed questions and I reassured her as best I could. Hopefully have educated her somewhat about the goings-on in a SC.

    She does still harbor negative stereotypes about my job, not the "oh my god you must be a whore" ones, but that I must have a really low self-esteem, and dancing is only going to make it worse, and that there's too much partying going on, and that I'll get "sucked in" to the "lifestyle" and all that such stuff. She's just worried about me, so I let her worry and just repeat endlessly all the positive reasons that I dance.

    The one that got her off my case to quit, though, is that I am able to support my daughter by myself by dancing, vs borrowing endless amounts of money from her.

    good luck.

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    Member PrincessPatti618's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Everyone told me it was a bad idea too. I just started a week ago and I've yet to tell anyone except my two closest friends. One of them is very supportiv, the other doesn't really think it's a good idea, but he's never been to my club and the clubs he has been too haven't been particularly clean/law biding.

    One guy told me that it's trashy for a girl to VISIT a SC. You can't listen to what other people say, it's about you and for you. Did I suddenly turn into a whore when I started? No! I'm the same person.

    Do what YOU need to do. Good luck

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    Featured Member screaminpeachez's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    lol @pussies flapping in the wind!!!
    he sounds remedial
    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
    "GOD is LOVE, but get it in writing"- Gypsy Rose Lee

    http://www.myspace.com/screaminpeachez

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    Member amybell80's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    Thanks so much ladies, I am going to go and check out a club this week to make sure I really want to do this, or if i can really get up there and dance? thanks abunch. Amy

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    Veteran Member SthnrnGrl77's Avatar
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    Default Re: everybody telling me "bad Idea"

    I learned @ 28 you can't please everyone. Do what you want for you.

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