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Thread: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I used to put hairspray on my body so that customers would stop kissing me. It is really disgusting when they slobber on my back, neck, and breasts. However, hairspray gives me pimples. I was wondering if there is some nasty tasting lotion I could use instead.

  2. #2
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Bitter apple, such as the stuff parents paint on their kids' fingers to prevent them from nail-biting. Although, someone suggested a few months ago that you tell the customer who can't keep his tongue in his mouth that your boyfriend just came all over you a few hours earlier, and by the way, doesn't it taste good?

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I spray bitter apple on my dog when she chews herself and she sure doesn't like it! I got some on myself once though and tasted it and it didn't seem too bad. I would think just about any lotion would taste crappy if you get enough on you. Bitter apple might make you smell funny. You could always put cayenne pepper all over your body but it might get everywhere or rub down with jalapeno juice.

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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Body Shop oil's smell nice and taste nasty! My BF used to complain when I put it on my neck.


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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    LMAO Bunny!


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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Or you could do what someone else suggested, put spray deodorant on your body, heh. Or you could do the simple thing that would probably leave them shocked. Slap the shit out of em! Make em learn their lesson.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    One of our bouncers once told me he thought we should start putting Syrup of Ipecac on ourselves! I've always been tempted to do it.



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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Playboy published a recipe to make something that tastes like cum. One of these days, I'm going to make a batch and slather it on my neck and breasts.

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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Oh my.

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    Veteran Member myssi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I got a free sample of Bitrex once... it comes as a powder...it is the most bitter tasting substance ever made. They put it in household cleaning products to prevent children from drinking them. It is impossible to drink anything with Bitrex in it. Look for the "ugh" symbol.
    So I tried making up a spray to prevent customers from licking me...very difficult to figure out how much to dilute...it only takes a tiny amount. It was oderless I think, and did make my skin taste awful. Unfortunately it was also absorbed into my skin and I could even taste it. So my experiment was a failure. If we could find something with a large enough molecule that would not be absorbed into skin and was oderless and tasted awful... then we'd have a product that dancers the world over might buy. I hate being licked by customers.

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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Be careful about body oils though you wouldnt want them coming off on stage. I always used spray deoderant on me....although I have never had someone lick my back..ew.
    I think I should make some stuff and sell it. Id be rich. Hmmm I tried to search google nothing.

    Maybe you could try putting excess body spray on your parts you dont want them to lick?
    you live like an ivy vine
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    powders, oils, and lotions any type that you put on and then go on stage will win you more trouble with the girls. The best thing is to clean your body off with alcohol... I do it anyways before I go on stage so my skin gets a better grip on the pole during tricks.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Fredericks of Hollywood sells a glitter gel that tastes AWFUL! The gel dries pretty quick, so you would not have issues with gettig sticky or slimey all over the pole. As for your non-licking customers, however . . . . *shrug*

    Ok, thinking about it, here is what I would do. I have noti ced thaty the idiots like to lick in places I don't normally use to contact then with. For example, the want the UPPEr surface of my breasts and the ribs above. But if I put my booobs in somebody's face, they are going to have mroe contact with the INSIDE surfaces of my breasts. So youo have to plan Strategically.

    BTW, to those of you who have used Body Spray, or deofrant spray, which kind did you use? I am going to go buy it in bulk!


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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Guh, typos typos typos. I just had a thought, and while it might soak into your skin..I donno, but has anyone ever tried dabbing fingernail polish remover on their skin where its licked most? That stuff prolly tastes awful.

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    That's a good idea retired dancer. Except that might smell too strong. It does taste something awful though. I have forgotten to wash my hands after using it before, and accidentally tasted it, it was so gross.

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I'm going to try acne medication, like Stridex or Oxy, something w/o benzyol peroxide (which would bleach my clothes). I have so many pimples on my butt from hairspray. I think deodorant might clog pores too.

    Acne meds taste like crap.

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    Senior Member Izzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I know girls that rub Purrell all over, it's not bad for you, it keeps you anti-bacterialised (not a word, I know) and apparently it tastes awful. Also, I once used my Clearasil face cleansing wipes on my body instead of baby wipes and my boyfriend complained that I tasted terrible.


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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Awesome Izzy!! Just checking ...its oderless right?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  19. #19
    God/dess tiamaria's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    I know avons skin so soft keeps away all kinds of critters?

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need a lotion that tastes like sh!t

    Anti-bacterial gel seems pretty popular.

    Don't forget to slap them upside the head after the unwanted lick!
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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