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Thread: I Love the "Weekly World News"

  1. #1
    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default I Love the "Weekly World News"

    http://weeklyworldnews.com/features/chamber/61580

    Just When You Thought There Was Nothing Left To Laugh About...
    FUNNIEST STORE SLOGANS IN AMERICA!


    By AIDEN LOUIS

    A radiator repair shop in Ohio proclaims itself "A great place to take a leak."

    That's just one of the clever slogans Weekly World News brought back after a cross-country trip spent scouting out the funniest business signs in America.

    Here's what we found:

    *PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA -- "Let Us Pick Your Nose!"

    *FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA -- "Drive Carefully. We'll Wait."

    *AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS -- "The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment."

    *GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK -- "Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix."

    *TIRE SHOP IN UTAH --"Invite Us To Your Next Blowout."

    *ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK IN MONTANA -- "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."

    *SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN --"You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid."

    *ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA -- "You've Got Questions, We've Got Geeks."

    *B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS --"Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years."

    *CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA -- "Extra long is our specialty."

    *PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE IN MAINE -- "Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps."

    *SEX THERAPIST'S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA -- "Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date."

    *SEX CHANGE SURGEON'S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS-- "Eat, Drink and Be Mary."

    *COUPLE'S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY --"Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone."

    *LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA -- "Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy."

    *SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN -- "Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard."

    *TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA -- "We Skid You Not."

    *PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS -- "The Breast Is Yet To Come."

    *ELEVATOR OPERATORS' UNION IN CHICAGO -- "We Do It Going Up And Down."

    *FINANCIAL ANALYST'S OFFICE IN FLORIDA -- "Bankers Do It With Interest."

    *LAWYER'S OFFICE IN OREGON -- "We Do It In Our Briefs!"

    *STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. -- "Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Find A Rock."

    *U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. --"Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt."

    *MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA -- "We make mountains out of molehills."

    *HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN -- "For toasty nuts, try us."

    *TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO --"Many Happy Returns."

    *VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT -- "We Suck!"

    *LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA -- "Let Us Kiss Your Grass."

    Published on: 03/29/2005

  2. #2
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Love the "Weekly World News"

    Growing up in Florida, there were two local company slogans that made me chuckle. One was for a construction company, and on the side of their trucks it said " We're proud of our erections". Another was Western Waste, the trash collection folks. their trucks said 'When you think of garbage, think of us."
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Love the "Weekly World News"

    Lol


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