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Thread: dating...

  1. #1
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default dating...

    i just dont get this. just got back from hanging out with this guy. he kept bringing up ex's. i find it rude. i never even told him my job. i was raised in a place where if this stuff was brought up, you went through HELL. i told the guy that bitch sessions cost $300/hr, $500 if you want me to listen naked. any tips on hinting that it's rude, maybe a bit less harsh than my methods?

    some i've used:

    'you know, this will cost $300/hr for me to listen'
    'did i ever tell you about my ex-fiance who almost killed me? no? then shut the f*** up!'
    never going out with her/him again.
    'hi, i'm toxic. i think ups made a mistake and sent me instead of the emotional punching bag you ordered'
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

  2. #2
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    Default Re: dating...

    Dating is for people you are already sleeping with

  3. #3
    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    I would look at this person and say "if your ex is so great then why are you not here with THEM?"

  4. #4
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    Some people do not know how to interact with members of the opposite sex other than giving sob stories and hoping for a sympathy blow.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  5. #5
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    Ick.. That must've been hell. Mojo's right, some guys just don't know how to act and think that fishing for sympathy is the quickest way to get a woman in the sack.

  6. #6
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiannon
    Mojo's right, some guys just don't know how to act and think that fishing for sympathy is the quickest way to get a woman in the sack.
    well there goes my whole dating game plan!

  7. #7
    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    I personally think he's not over her yet, and being in a situation where intimacy may/could be expected is causing it to show itself. I would drop him now and never look back, no one wants to be someone elses rebound.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    thanx 4 the advice every1. actually, i just met this kid at a bar a week ago (not sc). we didnt even kiss or hug! just hung out and talked. i wait. even though i seem like a freaky chick when i post on here, well, when i first meet someone i'm VERY guarded and what some might deem a bit old-fashioned. he didnt say they were great- he said bad things about his ex's. now grant it, i've had a VERY messed up past, but i NEVER bring that up until i've known someone for quite some time- and even then it's unlikely. i just feel it's none of their business and it's something i'd rather forget about and move on from than rehash. i just dont' think someone else needs to have my bulls*** dumped on them. besides, my attention is on who i'm with, not who i was with. i'll try the lines you guys suggested. mojo- good post there, i'll bring that up to someone!
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

  9. #9
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    Hmm, i'm thinking if he's telling you bad things about his ex maybe he's telling you so he doesn't expect the same back?


    EITHER WAY, YES it is very rude!!


    Next time ask him what are the things he likes or dislikes about you, & you have him ask you the same thing.
    Then tell him that what you dislike about him, the fact that he talks alot about his ex. It seems like he still has feelings(im not assuming, but just use this excuse. haha) or rebound.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Alexis1313's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    Wow. That sucks. Sorry you had such a bad date. Unless the person you're going out with is the first person you've ever gone out with.....chances are that there's some baggage in your closet. Everybody's got some to a certain extent but that doesn't mean it's ok to open up the suitcase and dump it on the table on a first date. Or even a second or third date for that matter. That guy was kinda rude or at the very least socially inexperienced.

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: dating...

    It's true, if a person keeps bringing up the ex all the time be it good or bad, they are not ready to date yet. They are not over that person. I know i was one of them at one time. Now i don't even remember what the sex was like, yea he was that good. Lmao. His middle name...Forgot it, yep i am so over it..

    Pamela

  12. #12
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: dating...

    Damn, but this bad-date guy sounds too familiar.

    After I became separated, I went on a flurry of dates, and I'm not proud to say I subjected the poor women to endless post mortums about my X. It goes without saying that I didn't achieve "infinite happiness" at the end of any of these train wrecks. In my defense, however, one point: I was being transparent about my situation and feelings (not that I could help myself!). This gave the women fair warning, which I'd say is more fair than having them wake up with me, and only THEN realize the neurotic mess they'd gone to bed with the night before.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: dating...

    Just really absent minded......did he ever stop to think "hey I dont think anyone wants to hear about my bitch of an ex escpecially on a 1st date??!!"
    EhDUHHH!!!!!! sorry. This is what I call the Peacocking stage.....he is suppose to be impressing you with his awesome personality.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  14. #14
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    One of those, "It's not you, it's him," scenarios, clearly.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  15. #15
    Featured Member Muyaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    wow don't go out with that guy again. He's not over his ex or whatever the fuck his ex did to him and he feels like he has to talk about it. You should of told him "Honey, you don't need a date you need a therapist." Guys like that drive me nuts!!!!

    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.

  16. #16
    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    He and my ex g/f should get together. She would always bring up the fact that she was still in love with a girl she slept with one time, and would leave me in a second if that girl would date her. When I would call her on it and tell her I didn't want to hear about that girl, she'd get pissy and tell me if I couldn't handle her being in love with someone else while she was with me, then I should'nt be with her. That made my mind up for me. Broke up with her the next day. Extremely glad I did as she was the best candidate for the Planter's mascot. She was very unstable to say the least.


    I would drop him pretty quick. He obviously has baggage and is looking for a caddy.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

  17. #17
    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating...

    great thing: it was only one date. let him do the calling. i thought of a hilarious thing to do: give the next loser the number to the psych unit at a hospital in my area and claim it's mine! hahahahaha! muyaha- you helped spawn that idea. i seem to attract these losers like honey does flies. no wonder i have to go to bdsm groups and flog the crap out of a sub...

    most peeps where i'm at act this way. they bitch about exs this and that. or other negative crap- like drugs, dumb gossip about who slept with who, getting drunk. most peeps put up with it. it's no big deal. i'm not cool with it. this is probably why i rarely go on dates and when i do, it ends up with me speeding off in my datsun flinging the trash in my car at the date.
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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